Author Archives: AJ Kumar

Lessons in Persuasion from the 2012 GOP Candidates

As you might expect, political primary campaigns are rife with examples of the nation’s highest ranking politicians making use of classic NLP techniques in order to advance their agendas and persuade voters to sympathize with their positions.  Considering the tremendous amount that’s at stake during these campaigns, politicians and their staff members often utilize any technique that might help give them an edge in a competitive caucus or primary election.

Today, we’ll dissect a few of the most interesting examples in order to see how NLP techniques can be applied across a national scale:

Mitt Romney and Health Care

One of the major challenges facing Romney’s 2012 campaign for the Republican presidential nomination is the 2006 Massachusetts law he championed that required nearly all citizens to obtain health insurance or pay a tax penalty – a bill that’s strikingly similar to the “Obama care” policy most Republicans oppose.  Romney’s challenge, therefore, is to distance himself from accusations of supporting “socialized medicine” without appearing to “flip flop” on the issues that matter to the conservative base.

In a stroke of genius, Romney offered the following statement in the January 26th debate in Jacksonville, FL:

“If you don’t want to buy insurance, then you have to help pay for the cost of the state picking up your bill, because under federal law if someone doesn’t have insurance, then we have to care for them in the hospitals, give them free care. So we said, no more, no more free riders. We are insisting on personal responsibility. Either get the insurance or help pay for your care.”

Romney’s statement highlights the power of an NLP technique known as “conflict integration”, in which two competing, incongruous ideas are rationalized in order to prevent cognitive dissonance from occurring in the mind.  Cognitive dissonance is especially dangerous in the minds of voters, as unresolved feelings of conflict can lead to overall negative impressions of a given political candidate.

In this case, Romney has taken two competing ideas – both that he has supported similar legislation in the past and that he does not support Obama’s implementation – and rationalized them through the use of a third variable.  By spinning the health care debate in terms of personal responsibility and by framing the topic in light of the Republican push for smaller government, Romney is able to minimize potential cognitive dissonance through the use of the conflict integration NLP technique.

Newt Gingrich and the Role of the Media

A few days prior to the January 19th, 2012 Republican primary debate in Florida, Newt Gingrich’s ex-wife, Marianne Gingrich, gave an interview to ABC News in which she revealed secrets that – at least according to media reports before the interview’s release – seemed poised to derail the Gingrich campaign once and for all.

But the fact that the interview’s “big revelation” turned out to be Newt’s somewhat innocuous request for an open marriage isn’t nearly as interesting as how the politician addressed reports about the scandalous nature of the interview’s content in his opening statement at the January 19th debate.

When asked by CNN moderator John King if he wanted to address the allegations of impropriety surrounding the interview’s content, Gingrich responded with the following statement:

“I think the destructive, vicious, negative nature of much of the news media makes it harder to govern this country, harder to attract decent people to run for public office, and I am appalled that you would begin a presidential debate with a topic like that.”

In this case, Gingrich’s statement demonstrates a masterful approach to an NLP technique known as re-framing.  Just as picture frames provide the borders by which we interpret the content of a photograph or painting, mental frames exist that give us context for how to perceive the events occurring around us.

Prior to the debate, the media frame being imposed over Marianne Gingrich’s forthcoming interview was one of the “victim wife”, abandoned by a husband whose insatiable lust left her in her time of need.  Rather than try to dispute the charges leveled against him, Newt Gingrich instead re-framed the terms of the discussion to instead paint himself as the victim of an overzealous media given to sensational stories.

By changing the “enemy” in the discussion to the media, Gingrich was able to successfully use NLP-reframing to smooth over those who sympathize with the plight of his ex-wife.

As we’re still months away from having a clear-cut Republican primary winner, it’s likely that we’ll continue to see plenty more examples of NLP techniques being used in political campaigns in order to differentiate the candidates and provide evidence of electability.  Keep your eyes out for more interesting case studies, as it’s almost certain these campaigns will continue to use tried-and-true NLP techniques in order to break away from the pack and clinch the nomination.

Overcoming the 3 Most Common Objections When Selling

Unless you’re the world’s most perfect salesperson, chances are you’ve run into objections before that have threatened to derail the entire sales process.  Really, is there anything more frustrating than a prospect that seems ready to buy tossing up a “game changer” statement that puts the future of your sale into question?

In fact, as a salesperson, you should welcome these objections, as they give you a chance to sharpen your sales skills and increase your likelihood of converting more prospects to buyers in the future.  Don’t panic when you encounter these roadblocks – instead, welcome them as learning opportunities and be prepared to beat your buyers at their own games.

The following are three of the most common sales objections you’ll encounter, whether you’re selling low cost products, high value services or anything in between.  Practice your responses to each of these objections using popular NLP techniques so that you’ll be prepared to encounter them in the real world.

Objection #1 – “I need more time to decide…”

Especially when you’re selling big ticket items, one of the most common objections you’ll see is the classic “stall” maneuver.  If your prospect says that he needs more time to think about something, be aware that he’s usually subconsciously using this technique to cover up an even bigger concern.

For example, your prospect may be stalling because he doesn’t feel he can trust you, or because he doesn’t completely understand how your offering will help him specifically.  In either case, he’s attempting to exit the situation without hurting your feelings and addressing what’s really on his mind.

In this situation, your best bet is to keep him talking.  If you give the prospect time to think and promise to return later to follow up, the odds are there isn’t going to be a “later”.  To prevent this from occuring, get in the habit of asking more questions whenever objections are presented.  Consider the following example:

“What was it about my proposal that you wanted to think over?  Is there anything I can explain better to make the benefits of my product clearer right now?”

By keeping your prospect engaged in the conversation, you should be able to uncover his true objections and meet them head on in order to keep the sales process rolling.

Objection #2 – “I can’t afford this right now…”

Ideally, your sales process should make the value of the product or service you’re selling so crystal clear that your prospect simply can’t wait to close the deal in order to start saving time or money.

But if you find yourself constantly having to justify the cost of the item you’re selling, you could benefit from an NLP technique known as “pre-framing”.  Most people are familiar with the idea of “re-framing” an argument – that is, taking a stated objection and spinning the way it’s phrased in order to minimize its impact.  The problem here is that the objection has already been stated, and often it’s difficult to recover once the argument is out in the open.

Instead, by “pre-framing” your expected objections, you take the power away from these arguments by tearing them down before they can even be presented.  For example, if you anticipate that price will be a concern, consider the following “pre-frame”:

“Although I know that price might seem high compared to my competitors, you have to look at the long term savings.  Over five years, my product has the potential to save your company over $10,000 – far more than what my competitors can guarantee.”

By addressing the specific objections you anticipate up front, you remove that from being a concern that has the potential to prevent your sales from occurring.

Objection #3 – “I’m just not sure I need your product…”

Has this one ever happened to you?  You’ve gone through your sales pitch, carefully highlighting the benefits of your offerings – practically making it seem as if your prospect couldn’t live without the item or service you’re selling – only to hear, “I’m not sure I really need that…”

It’s frustrating for sure, but this objection can be solved through the use of “embedded commands” – an NLP technique that works by enclosing highly persuasive statements into seemingly ordinary speech in order to “soften the blow” and subtly shift your prospect past his objections.

As an example, say you followed up your prospect’s objection in this case with the following statement:

“I understand your objections, but let me take a quick second to review the benefits of my product so that you can buy with confidence.”

On the surface, it seems as if you’re just transitioning the conversation back to the benefits of your product or service.  But in the process, you’ve also casually integrated the command, “buy with confidence” into your sales pitch, giving your buyer powerful subliminal cues that encourage him to close the deal.

Have you encountered any of these objections when selling?  If so, how have you handled them in the past and how will you use NLP techniques to deal with them in the future?

 

Top 50 Blogs on Persuasion

 

If you are looking to make money, communicate effectively, or build a powerful network of successful people, then these are the blogs or websites you should be reading on a consistent basis:

1. Copy Blogger. It is a blog that provides advice for the other bloggers and marketers on how to be more persuasive in work place.

2. Self Growth. It is a database of information on self improvement (including persuasion) written by famous experts.

3. Harvard Blog. Harvard Business Review brings its readers original research and firsthand perspectives from leading business thinkers around the world.

4. Wev Credible. If you wanted to know how to give a persuasive idea on your website, you should visit Wev Credible.

5. Changing Minds. This blog mentions the inner secrets of persuasion and changing other people.

6. PSY Blog. PsyBlog is an academic psychology blog discussing current research and theories on Persuasion.

7. The Steve Rubel Streem. This blog discusses the Influence and persuasion from the marketing point of view.

8. Personal Branding.  They say that this blog is #1 resource for personal branding and influencing online.

9. Persuasion. The blog discusses persuasion from an experienced eye.

10. Brand Yourself. It is an award winning toolset that helps you proactively manage your online reputation and promote yourself effectively across the social web.

11. Fresh influence.  This blog is specialized in public relations and influencing of people in marketing for the healthcare and technology industries and public affairs.

12. Forum one (Influence). Influence covers innovations in communication, Internet technology and strategy to generate influence on important public policy issues.

13. Terry Dean. Terry Dean gives important information on internet business and advertising persuasion.

14. Sources of insight. This blog isn’t not only about persuasion, but it also is about sharing of knowledge between users.

15. Personal Development blog. This blog offers idea for readers on how to develop their personality.

16. The NLP Company. A blog which gives training in NLP skills and techniques as well as persuasive skills.

17IFTF. IFTF deals with the history, techniques and future of Persuasion.

18. Persuasion Blog. This blog provides Informative articles on how to master speech, focusing on what speakers say and how they present themselves.

19. Earthling communication. This blog provides information on Effective Communication Skills including persuasion and influence.

20. Marketing wisdom. This blog has articles on world leading marketers and how did they persuade their clients.

21. Inside influence. This blog has many Articles about Influence and Persuasion Science and Practice.

22. Site Brand. If you want to be more persuasive and be able to use e-marketing in your favor, this blog is the right start for you.

23. Selling and persuasion techniques. This blog provides you with the Persuasion techniques and selling techniques to boost your income and influence.

24. Check Mate.  This blog provides detailed information and advices for persuasive people who want to be more persuasive.

25. Success Strategies. This blog provides many important techniques of successful influencing on people.

26. World Copywriting blog. David Garfinkel’s cutting-edge copywriting tips, tricks and tested techniques to get you higher response, more sales and increased profits!

27. Better Communication Results. It contains courses and podcasts about influence and Persuasion.

28. Success Technologies. This blog provides Ideas and Information to improve individual’s Business and Life.

29. Dr, Nancy Snow. This blog has series of article about principles of persuasion.

30. Wining Content. This blog answers and important question on how someone makes their content more influential.

31. Internet Influence Magic. This blog offer advice to bloggers on how to make the reader more influenced by the blog’s idea.

32. Healthy Influence. This blog’s goal is to provide updates and applications of persuasion theory and research.

33. The Power of Influence. This blog discusses how the famous companies have their influence on consumers, and how they created this influence.

34. A public speaker blog. It’s the weblog and website of a public speaker, which includes public speaking and persuasion tips.

35. FayZ Space. Discusses the Asian persuasion techniques and applications.

36. Paw Persuasion. This blog is concerned with the persuasion techniques with animals and how to communicate effectively with them.

37. Say It Better. A blog which is about acting in different situations.

38. Compelling Persuasion.  Compelling Persuasion helps you to learn to use Persuasive Communication strategies, tactics and techniques.

39. Influence People. The blog’s name describes its content; it’s a blog that teaches you the method of positive influence.

40. David Stirzaker. David Stirzaker gives some advices and notes in his blog and his book about persuasion and influencing people in marketing and life.

41. Subliminal Persuasion. It is a blog written by David Lakhani to market for Subliminal Persuasive technique and his book on it.

42. Psychology blog. This Oxford University blog identifies influence on people and studies it from a psychological point of view.

43. Net Persuasion. It’s about writing persuasive articles and maintaining websites that is useful for persuading clients.

45Terry Oreilly.  This blog teaches you how to master the art of persuasion by studying the human nature and knowing numerous gales and undertows that effect communication.

46. Tower of Power. Free articles and training in communication and influencing people.

47. Open to Persuasion. It is a social venture that combines argument visualization with collaborative wiki editing to make the best arguments on all sides of every complex aspects of the world.

48. Moving Minds. This is a political and psychological blog which provides much useful news.

49. The Art of Change.  Communication skills and life skills from bestselling author and coach Dr. Rick Kirschner.

50. Coding conduct. It’s about Internet persuasion and designing methods.

If there are other blogs on persuasion that belong on this list, leave a comment below.

Old School Persuasion Tools You Learned, But Should Never Use

There are persuasion techniques you are using right now that cause people to resist you and your message. My research shows that there are four major (easy to fix) blunders many persuaders make that limit their success and income. Each blunder is like trying to drive in your car with the emergency brake on. You are wondering why your car never has much power or speed. These problems are simple to fix, but expensive to have.

Persuasion Blunder #1: Assuming Closing Skills Are the Magic Cure-All

Closing skills were the big thing 20 years ago. We were taught that closing skills were all you needed. If you did not persuade enough people, you had to learn more closing skills. Nowadays, sure, it’s nice to have a few closing skills in your persuasion toolbox, but shouldn’t you spend more time opening up your audience before you even think about closing a deal with them? In fact, great persuaders don’t even have to use closing techniques. That’s because their audience is ready to purchase before the end of the conversation has even been reached. You need to be able to connect with your audience, to be sincere and empathic, and to show them you have their best interests in mind. When dealing with a potential client, you should spend more time on connecting, building rapport, and uncovering needs and wants than gunning for a close.

Persuasion Blunder #2: They trust me.

Wrong. The studies show that most people do not trust you. The persuader may think and feel that s/he has developed trust, but when we talk to the customers/prospects, there is no trust on their end. The ability to gain and keep trust is a vital factor in persuading others. Research has shown, time and time again, that trust is always a contributing factor in the ability to persuade others. When a person trusts you, that trust alone can cause her/him to accept your message. On the flip side, if people don’t trust you, all the evidence, reasoning, facts or figures in the world won’t get them to budge.

Persuasion Blunder #3: Talking Too Much

Being an extrovert, having the gift of gab, or being able to make small talk with anyone you meet can definitely be used to your advantage, but watch yourself. How can you persuade if you are always talking? It will be very annoying to your audience if they sense that you like hearing yourself talk more than listening to their concerns. Remember, it’s about them, not you. Great persuaders listen more than they talk. In fact, great persuaders use their listening and questioning skills to get their audience to persuade themselves.  It’s much better if your audience feels as if they have made the decision themselves, without perceived external influences. When you do have to talk, be succinct and to the point. A good rule of thumb is not to talk more than 30 percent of the time.

Persuasion Blunder #4: Focusing on price rather than building value

Many persuaders tend to focus on price rather than building value. When you are finished with your persuasive presentation, your prospects should think: That’s it? That’s inexpensive! What a great value! Even if they can’t afford it, they should be able to see the value in what you are offering. Discussing price arouses fear in many persuaders. As a result, it’s often where the sale begins to sink. Three things happen when you bring price into the persuasion process too early: 1) Prospects know it is a great way to get rid of you; 2) They can postpone making a decision; and 3) It is a knee-jerk reaction. You have not built the value of your product or service and hence, losing a prospect becomes probable. We often feel like lost sales come down to price. However, it’s not the price issue! It’s that your prospects don’t see your product or service’s true value. Only 6 percent of all purchases are based on price alone.

When we take an honest look at our persuasion methods, we often find that what we think we need to work on and what we actually need to work on are two different things. The truth is, even in our areas of strength, there is still always room for improvement.  Success starts with learning and mastering the fundamentals. If you want to become a better persuader, first master the fundamentals. Know them inside and out and cultivate the ability to execute them flawlessly. Then, as you gain mastery over the basics, you can incrementally add new tools to your toolbox. Whatever skill you are focusing on at any particular time, always be a professional and strive to be the best at what you do.

Kurt Mortensen is the author of The Laws of Charisma: How to Captivate, Inspire, and Influence for Maximum Success (AMACOM). He is one of the world’s leading authorities on persuasion, motivation and influence with 20 years of experience as a highly sought after consultant, trainer, seminar leader, and speaker. He is also the author of Maximum Influence and Persuasion IQ.

Kurt Mortensen [http://www.kurtmortensen.com/] is the author of The Laws of Charisma: How to Captivate, Inspire, and Influence for Maximum Success [http://www.amacombooks.org/book.cfm?isbn=9780814415917]

(AMACOM). He is one of the world’s leading authorities on persuasion, motivation and influence with 20 years of experience as a highly sought after consultant, trainer, seminar leader, and speaker. He is also the author of Maximum Influence and Persuasion IQ.

How to Build Rapport

how to build rapport

People generally like to be around other people who are like themselves. Matthew Ferry, a motivational speaker and sales trainer, says that it’s simliar to the way tribes work. A tribe consists of a number of people who are all similar to one another. They all talk, walk and do things in a similar way.

When someone from tribe A tries to interacts with someone from tribe B, tribe B tends to be a little standoffish and uncomfortable. This is mainly because the person from tribe A is different and tribe B doesn’t trust people who are different.

Has there ever been a time when you met someone you didn’t know and felt like you two just didn’t get along? This is because you appeared to come across as someone who’s from a completely different tribe. 

IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU, IT’S ABOUT THE PERSON IN FRONT OF YOU

You may be thinking, “why should I try to be like the other person, the other person should be like me.”

In communication, you cannot be selfish, in fact you must be very giving. The more you choose to be like the person in front of you, the closer you will be to building rapport.

From my experiences, people trust friends, and when they trust you, they are more likely to do business with you.

How do you get the person in front of you to feel comfortable with you and recognize you as their friend?

1. Match Their Tonality

  • Do they talk loud or soft? You’ll want to talk at their volume level at all times. If they are naturally loud, then you talk loud. If they are naturally soft, then you do the same.
  • How do they pronounce words? e.g. (tomato or tamato) Listen to how they say their words and do the same.

2. The Way They Talk

People talk in one of three ways: through their nose, throat, or chest. Figuring it out won’t be too difficult, compare them to the descriptions below and talk the same way.

  • Throat: A very throat-ee person will sound similar to Kermit the Frog
  • Nose: An person who talks through their nose will sound a bit like they’re congested
  • Chest: People who talk to their chest usually sound very deep and loud.

3. Follow Their Rate of Speech

Some people talk really really fast, and some people talk very s-l-o-w. If they talk slow and you talk fast, what’s the first thing that might come to someones mind? Usually when you hear someone who speaks really fast, your brain links them to a slick fast talkin’ sales person. We automatically go into defense mode: “warning warning….salesman…salesman!”

The opposite scenario would be when you talk slow to someone who speaks fast. They might think that your dumb or stupid (which obviously is NOT true).

This is why it is apparent that you speak at the same speed they speak.

4. Repeat & Approve

This is so simple yet but probably one that most people often forget. After they speak, make sure you repeat a very brief synopsis of what they say and then approve (excellent, great, amazing, thats exciting). This shows that you are indeed listening. For some odd reason, people like when you listen 🙂

5. Body Language

Matching body language is also very critical. I’ve listed how you should match each particular part of the person’s body.

  • Posture/Body Movement: Wait 10-15 seconds, and then shift your body in the same way.
  • Gestures: Use the same hand gestures they use, but only when it’s your turn to talk
  • Facial Expressions: Match their facial expressions instantly
  • Shrugs: If they shrug, you should shrug instantly
  • Head Nods: Instantly

Using these tactics will amazingly increase the levels of rapport you achieve with the people you speak to.

The Analytical Personality Type

Analytical Personality Type

Knowing what kind of personality type someone is can be a major advantage in building rapport, closing a deal, or networking. The hardest part isn’t learning about how to tell who is what, but rather how to use subconscious versatility at any given time.

What I mean by this is being able to interact with people, instantly figuring out which personality type they are, then automatically adjusting who you are to communicate with them.

Can you imagine how many new powerful connections you can make? The more people who feel comfortable around you, the more chances you have in-exponentially increasing your business.

How Analyticals  People Work

People who have the Analytical personality type usually appear to be very intelligent, nerdy, or systematical. I’m not saying that all analytical are smart or technologically advanced, although many of them are, but that most pay close attention to the smallest details.

You’ll also find that many Analyticals wear glasses because their eyes are vigorously reading and analyzing data faster than most resulting in their eyes wearing out quicker.  

Analyticals are people who, like Drivers, have little to no emotion, yet unlike Drivers or Expressives, make decisions slowly and with much second thought.

  • Sees overt emotion as a weakness and something to distrust.
  • Needs facts, numbers, and details. Will seek out more information.
  • Usually known for being a perfectionist, hates to make errors. Doesn’t forgive mistakes easily in themselves or others. Seen as intolerant.
  • Great problem solving skills. Wants to be admired for their problem solving abilities.
  • Likes organization and structure. Will sometimes hold to ‘rules’ even when results suffer.
  • Soft voice, reserved. Not directly confrontational. Lets the data speak for itself. Expects others to agree based on facts and logical arguments.
  • Gets frustrated when people don’t see ‘the right answer’ as clearly as they do.
  • Usually doesn’t get bored – internal life (thinking about ‘stuff’) keeps them occupied when outside stimulus is low.

Analyticals are usually pretty easy to spot because of their neatness, structure, and sensitivity of minute detail. Dealing with an Analytical sounds quite simple, but actually requires you to provide an extensive amount of data, graphs, references, and anything else with numbers, facts, and figures.

Other Personality Types

The Amiable Personality Type

Amiable Personality

Have you ever had a friend in your life who was very caring and supportive? They were always there for you and did everything to make sure you were happy. There is a good chance your friend has an Amiable personality type.

Amiable’s are very reliable and trustworthy. These people are very loyal employees and amazing people to have on your team. Amiable are usually not in very high-level executive positions, but there are obviously exceptions here and there.

Being an Amiable doesn’t mean you can’t be a leader, most of them just don’t have the characteristics of one. Amiables also tend to be very high in emotion and make decisions slowly.

  • Team player, looks for an ‘everybody wins’ result.
  • Warm and friendly, but sometimes cloying.
  • Doesn’t hide from feelings, expressing and listening. Caring, nurturing come easily.
  • Soft spoken, goes along to ‘get along’. Uncomfortable when they don’t know how the group feels about something. Doesn’t like independent activities and decision-making.
  • Rarely sticks up for their position in the face of strong opposition. Prefers compromise.

It’s quite simple to talk with people who are Amiable because they aim to please. They have a tendency to make sure that everyone likes them. When dealing with an Amiable, be sure to be very sincere, ask about their family, friends, and themselves. If you trying to close some kind of deal with them, tell them of how whatever your selling (including yourself) will impact the people around them after they buy (they care about others).

Other Personality Types

Have You Heard of The Snowball Effect?

The snowball effect was originally an analogy that was used to describe the Great War. It simply means something of little to no significance building up to become miraculous and great. Snowball, was also the title for a book written about Warren Buffet.  He started out as not a big deal and then worked his butt off to eventually become one of the most powerful men in the world (one the richest).

Like a snowball, most of you are starting you careers or experiences with small significance. By that I don’t mean what your doing has no value because obviously it does. What I mean is that you probably have little to no power right now and will continue to have no power for a while. To become the all mighty powerful snowball, you must go down the right path.

A small snowball which is placed on a steep hill will go down much faster and collect more snow and become much bigger a lot quicker than if it weren’t a steep hill. Basic laws of physics.  However, the faster the snowball goes down the hill, the harder it will be to control the snowball toward the end of the path thereby possibly being destructive.

If you get rich to quick or too fast, you might lose control and be headed down a path of utter disappointment. It’s interesting to see that many people who win the lotto end up going broke shortly after.  Everything happens so quickly that they almost instantly lose sight of how things work.  It’s always better to go down the not so steep hill of life so you can progressively:

  • Get rich slowly – learn amazing experiences that will help you to be better off for longer durations, compared to being rich quick, loosing quick, and then trying to be rich quick again.
  • Create powerful connections – powerful connections will be very useful in various stages of your life including times when you want to go to the next level.
  • Build creditability – Your creditably is important because it’s how the public or masses view you. Your credibility can also help take you to the next level or help you in time of crisis.

Would you agree the snowball effect theory being valid? Do you find yourself on a slope too steep?

How to Mirror and Match Using NLP

Anthony Robbins said, “People who like each other tend to be like each other.” What this means is that the more similar you are with the person you’re speaking to, the more rapport you’ll have. Ultimately with more rapport comes more power and influence. Surely this is something anyone would look for… Check out this video:

The Magic of a Handshake

Your handshake can say a lot about you. Have you ever had a time when you went to go shake someone’s hand and immediately felt confused with what angle you should be at, how hard you should or how many pumps you should do? Take a look at this video: