Versatility – Become Irresistibly Persuasive

It’s not about you, it’s about the person in front of you. I always take these words to heart because it means to give your focus and attention to someone else.  Have you ever spoke to someone you didn’t know and just didn’t click? It’s not their fault, it’s yours. That is if you consider yourself to be the better communicator of course.  One of the most powerful techniques I’ve ever taught myself was the ability to be able to befriend anyone I want.  I don’t say that in an arrogant or egotistical way, I say it in the sense that I am very sincere and provide truth, honesty, and care for the person.  My goal isn’t to befriend someone to take advantage of them, it’s to create a mutual relationship that will tremendously benefit the both of us.

Why befriend someone?

I fully agree with the saying, it’s not what you know, it’s who you know.  Any business requires skills to network by talking to people that you don’t know.  The more people you talk to and befriend, the better chances you have withsucceeding in what ever career your pursuing.

Personality Types

These are the 4 personality types that every single person in the world falls under.  You can be only one of the listed personalities, however you can be a different one when put under stress or pressure.  I have a friend who is very analytical most of the time but when put under pressure he becomes a hardcore driver.  I have another friend who’s very analytical and remains analytical when put under pressure.

So after you understand how you can determine what personality type someone is, you can use your skills of versatility and match the same personality type they are.  For example if you are an expressive and the person your communicating with a driver, be a driver.  You must understand that people like talking to people that are like themselves. By you matching their personality type, the person will begin to feel comfortable with you and will be more likely to do business with you.

Proactive people vs Reactive people

Proactive:

Takes charge, gets things done. Sees themselves as a force in the world and isn’t shy about applying that force. Takes matters into their own hands; steps up; active over passive. Usually most comfortable working independently – sales or self employed.

Words and phrases they use:

Run with it. Just do it. Go for it. Quit stalling. Get a move on.

Feelings:

A sense of ownership of an activity – they internalize the success or failure of what they have taken on. Criticizing the activity can be seen as a criticism of them. They create identity by what they do – I am a plumber; I am a postman; I am a doctor.

Reactive:

Wait for others, evaluate, tends to over-analyze. Wants to have all the facts and details. Usually happy on a team – as an employee or in a field with clearly established rules to follow.

Words and phrases they use:

Take your time. Let’s not rush. What are the pros and cons? We should wait until we know more.

Feelings:

Worries about rushing into things unprepared. Is willing to let others take charge. Wants all the resources ahead of time. Seeks information and opinions. Doesn’t feel able to stick their neck out. Doesn’t like risk; risk makes them uncomfortable.

The type of question you should ask to determine which one they are:

Do you find it easy to take action when you have an idea, or do you need to do a little research on it first?

Toward vs Away (Pleasure vs Pain)

Toward Pleasure:

These people  strive to achieve goals and incentives.  They’d rather go after making a millions of dollars, compared to a pain oriented person who would rather not have zero dollars in their bank account.

Words and phrases they use:

Accomplish, get, attain, have, achieve. No pain, no gain. It’s worth the risk. Take a chance. Don’t be a stick in the mud. I’d love to try that.

Will tend to speak about some future condition and skip over the complications of getting there.

Feelings:

Values the new; will seek excitement. Often seen as an optimist. Counts their chickens before they hatch; strong visualization of rewards. Will be uncomfortable with recounting past unsuccessful endeavors. Will get excited about pay-offs of some action. Will strive for bonuses and titles in the workplace. More likely to be a ‘job shopper’ – someone who changes employers to get more money or status.

Away from pain:

Instead of being pulled by pleasure, the person is pushed from behind. They want to avoid pain. They move away from the uncomfortable and stressful. Their viewpoint is looking backwards. It’s the ‘fire beneath them’ that motivates action.

Without any pressures, these people tend to stick to the status quo. They value stability. They are seen as long-term employees who are competent but less motivated.

Words and phrases they use:

Prevent, remove, avoid. I had to; I have to. I don’t want that to happen again. I won’t make that mistake again. This is good enough. It doesn’t matter. Look before you leap. Don’t give up what you have for some pie in the sky. Well, at least we have this. It isn’t worth it. We should stick with the plan. We can’t let that happen.

Feelings:

Uncertainty when confronted with change. Will overreact to failures and avoid situations that seem similar. Feels threatened and responds enough to remove the threat. Worries about what could go wrong and seeks to move away from pain. Unwilling to ‘just forget about it’. Feels regrets strongly. Plays ‘what if’ scenarios. Values stability – more likely to respond to long-term benefits that prevent a painful condition than gains that require some sacrifice.

The type of question you should ask to determine which one they are:

What’s important to you about learning Persuasive Communication?
What would that do for you?
Do your answers show a person who envisions a wonderful future condition or do they highlight ‘fixing’ an existing problem? Are you drawn toward some goal or are you moving away from an unsatisfactory state?

Internal vs External

Internal:

Doesn’t require input from other people. Decisions are made by referencing internal cues. Self motivated; values their own ideas, doesn’t need to check with others. Sometimes seems a loner and self absorbed. Can conflict with ‘group think’. Doesn’t have a good sense of ‘the will of the crowd’. Isn’t influenced by polling (4 out of 5 dentists agree). Has to be convinced of the value of fitting in. Prefers situations where their own ideas have worth. Tends to overvalue their own past experiences, even with new circumstances. Can seem opinionated.

Words and phrases:

I, me, my. I think. I already know, you don’t have to tell me. I’ve already thought about it. I know all about it. Pauses to check with their interior mind.

Feelings:

Internal dialog/discussion. Strong feeling of ‘knowing’ from past experiences that are related to the present situation. Feelings of certainty after some thought and consideration. Introspective. Doesn’t mind being alone with their thoughts. Enjoys interior flights of fancy. Often prefers the ‘purity’ of visualization over the ‘dirty’ of real world application. Hates being told.

External:

Values research and the opinions of others. Listens and accepts criticisms. Looks to others for direction. Is influenced by polling and what others think. Wants to fit into the normal standards of a group. Likes consensus, will ‘give in’. Motivated by group ideals and goals. Unlikely to ‘go it alone’.

Words and phrases:

We, us, they. What do you think? You tell me. What about this? How did they do it before? Let’s brainstorm it. How should we do it?

Feelings:

Isn’t sure until an idea is ‘out there’. Wants the approval of others for ideas expressed. More likely to share the basis for decisions. Prefers ‘go along to get along’. Sees different as weird or ‘bad’. Strong group identity, will bond easily and usually loyal. Sees themselves as part of a larger picture. Doesn’t mind being told.

The type of question you should ask to determine which one they are:

When you are in the market to make a big purchase like buying car, what helps you decide?
Do they respond with some external person or resource or just their own decision?

Matching vs Contrasting (Sameness vs Difference)

Matching:

Looks to match new things with old, familiar things. Sees the new as ‘like’ similar, known things. Understands best when links are made between the familiar and the less familiar.

Words and phrases:

Same, similar, like, as good as, common. It’s like when… It’s just like… This reminds me of… Remember when…?

Feelings:

Comfortable with extensions from the known – add ons. Values the familiar, loath to change what already works OK. Sees things in types. Can be frustrated with nuances – “But they are all the same!” Tries to put things in categories, sometimes seems prejudiced. Doesn’t rebel against stereotypes.

Contrasting:

Looks to see where the new differs from the old. Focus is on how things differ. Understands best when contrasts are made.

Words and phrases:

Different, alter, change, no comparison, completely new. This changes things. The improvement is obvious. A new paradigm; a fresh idea; a whole new product. It’s as different as night and day.

Feelings:

Wants to see the nuances to pick out differences. Uncomfortable with sweeping categories. Attempts to find key differences in related items or tasks. Gets frustrated with small things that “ought to be changed to make this work better…” Sees things as instances – this one is different than the one before.

The type of question you should ask to determine which one they are:

Suppose you want to import bananas into the United States at a time before bananas were seen here. No one knows what a banana looks like, but they are familiar with other fruits. How would you describe bananas to them?


I was always told to be myself…

Who you are today, is because of the decisions you’ve made in the past. Who you will be in the future, will be determined by what you do now.  If you’re goal is to network, meet, and connect with more people, it’s important to put yourself aside and focus on the person in front of you.  People would then tell me that this is a very manipulative and fake technique.  I perceive it in a different way.  I think if you don’t match their persona as a whole, your being selfish and stubborn.  Unless your intention is to do harm, matching the person in front of you is very caring, sincere, and real.  It all depends on your intention.

This is a mouthful to take in all at once especially since you’re supposed to understand all of it within minutes or even seconds of meeting someone, but practice one technique at a time.

Knowing all of these techniques will enable you to become one Irresistibly persuasive communicator. A few more details about getting in rapport with someone can be seen from an old post called: How to Build Rapport.

How will you APPLY the techniques from this post?

Do You Have a Friend Who is a Loser? Get Rid of Em!

Loser

It is easy for me to say that a lot of people surround themselves with losers. If you want to become successful, rich, or happy, you should do whatever it takes to grow, right?

As human beings, we must grow, because like a business, if we don’t grow, we die.  I don’t mean literally die, but I mean mentally and socially.

How Can You Classify One as Being a Loser?

  • No job (not looking hard enough)
  • No money (lack of motivation to make it)
  • Lazy
  • Party all the time (unless it’s related to your job)
  • Too much drugs
  • Too much focus on girls (for guys, mainly 18-25)
  • Willingness to NOT step out of your comfort zone

I agree that the term “loser” sounds bad, but it is the best way for me to get your attention. If you are surrounding yourself with people who fit the criteria listed above, you will be brought down to their level. I believe I read this in a book, please do correct me if I’m wrong, but if you take the income of 10 of your closest friends, or people you hang around the most, take the average, your income will equal close to that amount. If you hang around people who make no money, then chances are, you are making little to no money.

LAY DOWN WITH DOGS, AND YOU WILL COME UP WITH FLEAS

Surround Yourself With Successful People

What should you do? My good friend Neil Patel has told me that this year, he wants to befriend 5 billionaires. WOW, what a goal! I personally know of maybe 1 or 2 millionaires and that’s probably on no more than a first name basis. It’s hard for me to even fathom befriending 1 billionaire.

The idea is so simple though so pay close attention: Imagine being able to spend one hour with a successful business tycoon like Donald Trump. Do you think you’ll learn something that will help you make money? Of course!

Setup a goal to meet someone who makes 10x the income you do. Don’t get smart with me and say 10 x zero is =zero :). If your goal is not about money, then find someone who does what you want to do at a measurable 10x higher level.

Where Do You Find These People?

This is the question I usually get right after I tell someone to find new friends. The answer is: network like crazy! Out of everyone you know, I will bet that they know someone who is successful or they might know someone who knows someone that is at the level you are looking for.

Read my blog on building rapport and learn to  sell yourself. There is always a way to find successful people, you just have to make the effort.

Go to a seminar in an industry you have interest in and you will come across many like-minded individuals. If you decide not to go through with making an effort, then you should transform your mindset and change. 

Nothing is Wrong With Not Wanting to be Rich

Let me clarify, not being a loser, doesn’t mean you have to be someone who is interested in making a tons of money. What I mean is that you should surround yourself with people who are interested in growing mentally,physically, financially, or even spiritually.

The more people you have around you that put genuine interest in growing, the easier it will be for you to transform your mind to win.

Do You Have Losers in Your Life?

Chances are that after you read this, you will begin to nod your head and say, “Yes AJ I totally agree with you.”

Losers mess up your entire mindset and hold you back from success.

And then the rest of you will be very confrontational and write a nasty comment about my outlandish blog post below.

Look, many of you have these losers in your life that you still care for and maybe even people you’ve been friends with for 10+ years. However, the bottom line is, if they are unwilling to change their poor habits, are you willing to sacrifice your own success?

How to Get Rid of Losers

At this point, I assume that you have tried to help these losers out, but they still wouldn’t budge. Now it’s time to get rid of em’:

  • Get out a sheet of paper and write on one side “Up-lifters” and the other side “Losers”
  • Take everyone from the “Losers” side and clear their contact info from your phone, email, computer, phone book etc.
  • If they call you to hang out or whatever, no need to be rude, just say you are busy working or something. Again, don’t be rude, let them know that you are busy working on growing your life.
  • If you are interested in doing it in an extreme way like how I did it when I was 17, change your phone number and only give your new number to the “Up-lifters”.

So now my question to you is, are you going to do it? Are you going to get rid of the losers in your life?

More of the Same Gives You More of the Same

Almost anyone who’s been in some type of sales has heard of or used Albert Einstein’s quote: “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.”  So where do you stand as far as what Einstein said?  Well you’re definitely on the right track by choosing to read my blog every time I post new articles.  Unfortunately, if you’re not applying it, discussing it (write comments below), or teaching it, you’ll go back to your original ways instantly or after a few weeks.

Has there ever been a time when you reluctantly tried something new and then discovered it to be amazing? My personal example was my experience with sushi. I was entirely an “inside the box” type of guy so when it came to something new like sushi, I would keep pushing it off.  I gave it a shot one time and introduced my taste buds to an array of new amazing sensations. Not only was I introduced to something new and delicious but I was also conditioned to believe that trying something new is a good thing, which I still go by to this day. There are also times when we try something which impacts us the opposite way. Hopefully you have more positive experiences than negative. However, something like trying new food is just the small picture.

Look at the Bigger Picture

For some and maybe even most of you, a consistent daily routine is nothing out of the ordinary. You go to work, you do your job, you go back home, watch TV, and go to sleep. Now don’t get me wrong, if you’re completely satisfied with doing the same, by all means keep doing the same, because that’s what you’ll get. I interestingly enough run into people every day who find themselves just stuck in that rut hoping and wishing something would automatically change so their entire life style would too. But, how would one expect to create something out of nothing? Start by stopping. Stop what you’re doing right now and pay attention to which direction you’re heading. Are you heading down the path you want to head down? Do you find yourself in a position where you can’t go toward that path because of your financial situation, family situation or whatever situation that’s getting in your way? It starts with taking a chance. Change what you’re doing and you’ll get a different result. Since you have the control, keep changing until your happy with the results you get.

Repetition is Key, so be Persistent

So you’re probably confused considering that I just told you that doing the same thing gives you the same results. When you’re focused on acquiring a skill or talent, you should always be persistent. However, you don’t have to change what you’re doing entirely for something to work, but you do have to add to it.

For example

a person who’s prospecting for business over the phone.You should be persistent in the sense that you’re calling people like crazy and continuously moving from one person to the next, but you should also change your approach each time.

That same person who prospects for business but decides they don’t want to change anything will keep getting the same results: no business. Yes it is a numbers game and this person will get a deal here and there but the unpredictability percentage is too high. Be persistent with changing.

Next Level

Choosing not to change what you’re doing will also prevent you from going to the next level. Tiger Woods has over 5 different coaches who constantly work on changing his techniques and style. If he was stuck on the same techniques he used during the beginning of his career, he wouldn’t have advanced or grown to be where he’s at today.  So a person like Tiger can keep doing what he’s doing and get great results.  He will continue doing well of course up until someone else comes in and outshines him. This is why you must continuously grow, even if you change it up little by little. The Tiger Woods example would apply more so to people who ARE doing well and aren’t willing to change. Even if your good, someone will catch up so you either continue changing, evolving, and growing to keep your lead, or you let people catch up and exert more energy in getting back your lead.

What have you been doing that’s gotten you the same results over and over that you’ve been reluctant to change?

32 Questions: 20 Empowering & 12, Not so Much

Persuasive Communication doesn’t only refer to how you communicate with others, it also refers to how you communicate to your self. To change the results you get, you start by taking control of how your mind thinks. This is done by asking yourself the right questions.

Changing you

Has there ever been a time when you told yourself, “Why can’t I do this” or “Why am I such a failure?” Your mind is created to function and tic a certain way. When you ask your mind a question, it will ALWAYS look for an answer. So by asking yourself negative questions, you’ll get negative answers. What I’m about to share with you CAN be something that will dramatically change your life forever.  Think about it, if you ask yourself negative questions, you get negative answers. So if you ask yourself positive questions, you get positive answers! Imagine if you asked yourself questions like, “How can I get stronger?” “How do I get smarter?” “What should I do to make money now?” Do you want to know the answers to those questions? I know I do which is why I ask myself those questions all the time! As I ask myself empowering questions, I eventually figure out the right answers.

Disempowering Questions

  • Why am I a loser?
  • Why does this always happen to me?
  • What is everyone against me?
  • How come no body likes me?
  • Why am I so shy?
  • Why don’t girls/guys like me?
  • Why doesn’t anyone like me?
  • Why can’t I be smarter?
  • Why am I always wrong?
  • Why do I always fail?
  • Why doesn’t anything good ever happen to me?
  • Why do I always get these problems?

If you notice carefully, a lot of the times when you ask yourself negative question, you tend to generalize. It’s as if you aren’t beating yourself up enough already, you have to lie to yourself to make you sound even more pathetic to yourself. This doesn’t have to happen; in fact it’s really easy to change. You know a great exercise you should do but probably won’t: write down all the negative questions you have in your mind. Spend some time and really think hard about every negative question you’ve asked yourself, vigorously write them all down. Now take that piece of paper and crumble it up. Flush it down the toilet, burn it, or just simply throw it away. Poof, now these questions have vanished away like smoke(literally if you burned it 😉 ).

Empowering Questions

  • What are my goals?
  • How do I become stronger?
  • How do I become smarter?
  • What must I say to be more persuasive?
  • Why am I such a powerful person?
  • Why am I amazing?
  • Why do I consider myself to be the best?
  • What makes me feel real good right now?
  • What do I really want out of my life
  • How do I solve this problem that I have?
  • Who can I talk with to help me grow?
  • What steps must I take to reach the outcome I want?
  • What should I do different next time?
  • What am I committed to right now?
  • Who’s in charge of me?
  • What can I learn from this experience?
  • How do I become more enthusiastic
  • How can make more money?
  • What should I do to live a healthier lifestyle?
  • How can I become more consciously aware of my life?

Would you like to know the answers to these questions? Start asking yourself questions like these everyday! I promise and guarantee that you’ll eventually figure out the answer. It’s better you figure out the answer to, “why am I powerful,” compared to, “why am I a loser?” Wouldn’t you agree?

There is an infinite number of empowering questions you can ask yourself so please enlighten me with what one of your new questions…

You Forget 80% of What You Learn Every Day!

There are many people out there who spend hours on end every single day learning and feeding their mind with immeasurable amounts knowledge.  It truly is amazing to see that so many people have an interest in taking themselves to the next level.  Unfortunately, even though the intention is constructive, there lies a undetected negative affect to studying and learning new information.

Have you ever gone to a learning seminar of some kind, whether it is powerful and exciting like a raw-raw motivational event or a low-key workshop for new homebuyers?  Obviously from the back-end, the purpose of almost all these seminars are to sell you on something that you may or may not need.  However, the selling stuff aside, your intention at this seminar is to learn new information, gain knowledge, or maybe even refresh your memory. Chances are that 1-2 weeks after the seminars over, you’ll completely forget almost everything you’ve learned.

80%

On the average, about 80% of everything you learn in any given day is forgotten.  What’s more interesting is that when some information comes in, sometimes other information comes out.   So now the question is how do we retain more information.

That reminds me of a story of a close friend of mine. He has an immense database of knowledge about sales.  He’s been a person who’s always been interested in learning and growing, which I realized almost instantly the day I met him.  Now it sounds like this guy is just hungry for success, and he is, but he was actually hurting and stopping himself to achieve success indirectly. He would spend hours every day learning something new and then the next day he would do it again.  What I noticed was that he kept learning new strategies, techniques, concepts, etc., but took very little action. By taking very little action I mean that he didn’t apply what he learned.

I was just like that in the sense that I kept learning, but didn’t apply it either.  All my knowledge was just archived in my head.  It was just recently (last 1-2 years) that I started applying what I learned in the different situations and scenarios I came across.  My results were remarkable.  People almost always felt comfortable talking to me.  This was all because I simply stopped spending most of my time learning new stuff and started applying what I already knew or some cases what I just learned.  The irony behind it is that usually I’d talk to people about “persuasive.net” type of information, which would blow them away.  My whole goal is to become an interesting person and as I apply what I know, it’s becoming reality.

The advice I gave my friend was that he needed to stop spending all of his time to learn new stuff every day and start taking action what he knows.  I believe in a very simple philosophy: Apply what you know and you will naturally begin to perform your skill subconsciously (without you being aware that your using it) and then you’ll automatically strengthen your “skill of learning” which will allow you to learn new things faster and apply them with ease.  He agreed with me and decided to follow my advice and now he couldn’t be happier with results he has created by taking more action.

We learn

  • 10% What we READ
  • 20% What we HEAR
  • 30% What we SEE
  • 50% What we SEE and HEAR
  • 70% What we DISCUSSED with OTHERS
  • 80% What we EXPERIENCED PERSONALLY
  • 95% What we TEACH TO SOMEONE ELSE

I’ve read this report researched by the William Glasser’s Institute about how we learn.

We learn 10% of what we read

That’s astonishingly low and very de-motivating.  However, it makes sense when you read the other numbers which I’ll explain why below.

We learn 20% what we hear & 30% what we see

I found this interesting and would definitely argue this knowing that some people are visual (learn by seeing) and some people are auditory (learn by hearing). So this seems debatable to me as being either or.

We learn 50% of what we see and hear

True. 20% + 30% = 50%

We learn 70% of what we discussed with others

Sounds about right since talking with others allows you to communicate your thoughts, opinions, beliefs, and concepts. You’re also absorbing someone else’s point of view.  Discussing something with others is obviously more memorable too.

We learn 80% of what we experienced personally

We almost always relate something we’re learning to some person, place, thing, or event from the past.  If what you’re learning triggers a familiar memory, of course it’s going to be stickier in your brain.  Now you have whatever your learning neurologically linked to some memory in the past.

We learn 95% of what we teach to someone else

Persuasive.net 😉 I agree with this 100%.  I can personally say that I became a much better communicator after I started teaching people what I knew.  Not only is it easier to learn, but also its just overall more fulfilling knowing that you were able to teach someone something.  That feeling alone enables me to continue doing what I do.  I’m sure most of you agree that when you teach someone something, your brain sort of changes into a different mode.  That mode allows us to learn that information a lot quicker. That’s exactly why people choose to become a teacher in California and the 49 states across the US

By now I hope you were able to link up that part about applying what you learn instead of constantly learning new information and the way we learn the fastest: teaching others.  I’m not saying stop learning new things because it’s a great way to grow, what I’m saying is that you should focus most of your time on taking action on what you do know, rather than focusing on learning-learning-learning.

And as far as “you only learn 10% of what you read,” it sounds as if reading was a waste of time, but the fact is that you can take that 10% of what you read and create magic by apply it.

How say you?

Size Matters, Small is the New Big

In NASA, the smallest miscalculation can cause a fatal disaster. Being a slight degree off, 1/100 of inch, can lead a space shuttle in a completely different direction. The power of small is a phrase I use that means the smallest adjustment can make an enormous of change. This is obviously the negative side of it. However, since we already understand the power of perception, we know that with every negative, there is always a positive. If you haven’t already, you are about to realize that a small change can also impact you in a tremendously positive way.

I had a friend in college who had the potential of being a fantastic golfer, except he lacked direction. He had a powerful swing that can launch a ball into outer space ;). Unfortunately, outer space wasn’t the hole, therefore his talent was being wasted. His coach started to spend some extra time working on the way he held his golf club before and during his swing. Turns out that he cocked his wrist slightly on his way down to hit the ball. The slight change sent the ball in the complete wrong direction. His coach made him realize his the answer to becoming a better golfer was a small shift in his grip. Finally, he learned to slightly shift the club in the right direction, allowing him to control where the ball goes.

Right now, you are probably in a position where you are trying to make money in your career or business, mastering a skill, or just improving your overall personal development. Most of you are not happy with where you’re at right now or else you wouldn’t be browsing the internet to find blogs like mine for a solution. Some of you may say, “AJ you’re wrong, I’m happy with where I’m at right now and I just want to do better.” Well, the fact that you’re looking to do or be better than you currently are says to me that you’re not happy and you want to make a positive change. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT. It’s absolutely amazing that you want to grow, especially considering that most people are just too lazy to search for an answer in the first place.

Wait a second…
Here is what I don’t want to do: I don’t want to change your entire way of being and doing, especially if what you’re doing is working. Some great advice that I’ve gotten once is that you should never change what you’re doing if it’s working for you, just add to it.

What I want you to do: I want to you to read my blog and create small incremental add-ons in your life that will allow big and major changes to occur over time. A great example would be for someone who goes to the gym; You don’t go from benching 135lbs to 225lbs after 1 set, you go through everything in between.

Here are some examples of you small incremental changes can become tremendously positive changes over time.

Dieting

Eliminate soda

1 can of soda is roughly 140 calories. Over the course of a year, if you drink 1 a day, that’s over 51,000 calories! That’s about 14 pounds!

Hold the Mayo!

When you eat a sandwich, avoid the mayo and you’ll save around 100 calories and 10 grams of fat. Stick with mustard instead.

Agua

Having a glass of water in the morning and before you go to bed can easily help you shed off a few pounds

Business/ Career

Prospect

If you need business, if you want to make money, then it is up to you to go get it. Start talking to people, making cold calls, door knock, etc. Calling 100 people a day will give you 10-15 contacts you can speak to. Out of the 10-15 contacts, 3-5 will be interested, and out of the 3-5, 0-1 might be. Now take this over the course of 1 year. And you’ll get hundreds of sales. Calling is just a few hours worth of work!

Learn and apply

Apply 1 new technique you learn from personal development into your career each day. This can lead to insightful achievements toward your success.

Read 1 book a month

I’ve written about this before: usually books on personal development contain experiences of someone’s life over the course of 10+ years. That means you’ll gain over 120+years of knowledge in just 1 year.
A good idea would be for you to ask a friend to hold you accountable and examine something your trying to do. You will more than likely not be able to see some of the small changes you probably need to make. Do the same with them!

Now that you’re consciously aware of the Power of Small, how will you take advantage of this type of mindset?

My New Blog: Irvine Homes Now

After the real estate industry crashed, I figured what better time to get into the real estate industry then now ;). I recently started a blog called Irvine Homes Now. My goal is to talk to you about what’s really going on in the Orange County market and more specifically, in Irvine, CA. I chose Irvine because 1. It’s an amazing place to live and 2.  It’s one of the fastest growing cities in the country. If you have any question about real estate (regardless of what state you’re in), go ahead and send me an email, ajay@century21.com and I’ll do whatever I can to help you out.

Even though I’ve been putting more focus on my real estate business, I won’t stop blogging on persuasive.net The bad news is that over the past few months, my posting has slowed down. The good news is that I have some great posts coming out soon so stay tuned.

Do You Practice What You Preach?

Have you ever told someone to do something that you would never do yourself? Gandhi hasn’t:

A woman once came to Gandhi and asked him to please tell her son to give up eating sugar. Gandhi asked the woman to bring the boy back in a week. Exactly one week later the woman returned, and Gandhi said to the boy, “Please give up eating sugar.” The woman thanked the Mahatma, and, as she turned to go, asked him why he had not said those words a week ago.”Gandhi replied, “Because a week ago, I had not given up eating sugar.”

-Catherine Ingram

The message from this story is quite simple, practice what you preach. What’s interesting to know is that there are thousands of blogs out there that teach personal development, yet only a select few that actually give sound advice. The reason behind that is that it’s simple to read information and rewrite it. I can study everything there is to know about being a doctor, but if I don’t actually work at a doctor’s office, would you let me operate on you? I know I wouldn’t :).

You, like almost everyone reading this probably has an interest in becoming a better person, being successful, or just t0 learn to do more good faster. Whatever the reason is for you visiting this site, it has to do with communicating with other people. The closer you are to mirroring whatever the message is that your communicating, the more powerful the message will come across. Like Gandhi, he wasn’t able to tell the woman’s son because he didn’t give up sugar himself. After he did it himself, he was able to tell the boy with more conviction and power. His message had a ‘backbone’ to it.

Practice what you preach

All of the strategies that I teach, share, and explain to you have been something I’ve done before or am currently doing right now.  If you’ve ever met me in person, I can talk for hours on end on almost everything related to personal development and self-help. I am TRULY interested in becoming an overall powerful human being capable of understanding fellow human beings with the ability to uplift them to also become powerful.

So, if you’re on the web searching for ideas, like right now being on persuasive.net, here’s the trick to practice what you preach:

Learn something, read it, get it taught to you, or do whatever to get it in your head and then instantly APPLY IT! DO IT! Yes it’s that simple 😉 Gandhi decided to cut sugar that same day the woman asked for him to give her son the message.

Do you practice what you preach? What exactly do you preach, and how do you practice it?

Are You Unique?

Recently, I decided to pursue a passion that I’ve been interested in for many years now.  An industry where odds are almost never in your favor. An industry where there are people who are more than likely better than you. But then again, this probably sounds a lot like many of the industries out there, doesn’t it?

Other people are better than you

There will ALWAYS be someone better than you, if not now, then later. If you’d like to argue this point, I’d suggest you take a look at the Guinness Book of World Records. They release a new book every year because records are continuously broken. Advancements in equipment, psychology, training, or any thing can help us humans excel in various ways. Take a look at this past year’s Olympics in China, they created new suites for the swimmers which allowed them to break practically every world record for that category.

Being the best

Many people can argue that you must be the best in order to be successful which I believe to be untrue. Being the best doesn’t guarantee you anything. Take a look at actors. How many actors have you seen who are terrible. You’re probably a better then some of the actors out there, but they are the ones who are getting paid the millions…why?

Unique

Have you seen the movie Madagascar 2?  Let me explain: There is a zebra played by Chris Rock who thinks he’s the only one of his kind. The main animals crash their airplane in Africa where the zebra comes to realize that he isn’t the only zebra on the planet. Chris Rock’s character immediately becomes upset and angry because he feels as if he lost his uniqueness. Long story short, in the end, he realizes that he is indeed unique, not because of his looks but because of his weird and kooky personality. Being unique doesn’t automatically make you a superstar, but it does give you that slight advantage. That slight advantage can easily make or break your career.

Irreplaceable

Uniqueness then brings me to being irreplaceable.  In this economy, people are getting laid off faster than ever and it’s mainly because they are replaceable. Let’s say you made your company 10k a month. If you left and you were replaced by someone else who can make them 10k a month, obviously you were replaceable. However, if the company lost 10k by you not working there, then that means you carry that uniqueness quality and the ability to be irreplaceable.

Not only does being unique help in giving you some job security, but it can also help you make further advancements in your life and career.

We all say we are unique in our own ways, but how do you use your uniqueness to get further in your life or career?

My Broken Ankle is an Opportunity in Disguise

A very old Chinese Taoist story describes a farmer in a poor country village. His neighbors considered him very well-to-do. He owned a horse which he used for plowing and for transportation. One day his horse ran away. All his neighbors exclaimed how terrible this was, and would say, “wow you have such bad luck and misfortune.” The farmer would simply reply with, “Maybe.”

A few days later the horse returned and brought two wild horses with it. The neighbors all rejoiced at his good fortune and said,“wow you are luckiest man in the village!” The farmer would reply back with, “Maybe.”

The next day the farmer’s son tried to ride one of the wild horses. The horse threw him and the son broke his leg. The neighbors all offered their sympathy for his misfortune and would again say, “wow you have such terrible luck.” The farmer would continue to reply with, “Maybe.”

The next week conscription officers came to the village to take young men for the army. They rejected the farmer’s son because of his broken leg. The neighbors said, “wow, you still are the luckiest man in the village.” The farm still replied with “Maybe.”

Our perception is how we view the series of events that occur in our lives. The reality is that ‘good’ events will not always happen in your life. What exactly do I mean by ‘good’? Especially considering that a ‘good’ event to me can be a ‘bad’ event to you. So classifying an event as ‘good’ or ‘bad’ or ‘positive’ or negative’ is completely up to you, right?

Two days ago, I was a car accident with my brother. He was driving his car straight and we were hit by someone making a left turn. The car was completely totaled and my brother left the accident with a broken wrist while I came out with a broken ankle. Luckily, we were literally right in front of a hospital, so it was quite a short trip to the ER room.
My parents were feeling sorry for us and gave us a speech about how sometimes people have plain old bad luck, just like the neighbors in the story of the Chinese Farmer. I answered them with something much unexpected. I said that this accident is more of an opportunity for me because being stuck at home allows me to have more time to work on myself.

AJ Kumar

I am a strong believer in personal development and am always interested in finding new ways to grow. So for the next 6 weeks, I’ll be taking advantage of my situation and taking powerful leaps to bettering myself. Also, this is my first and hopefully my last broken bone, so now I get to experience my life in ways that I would never have before. Walking in someone else’s shoes so to speak. My parents were also quite amazed at how cheery and playful I was with the nurses in the ER room. Seeing me in that room, you would never think of me as a patient.

Your life will be a time line of events. It is your choice to whither they be ‘good’ or ‘bad’. Every event will have its positive effect along with a negative effect, but it is up to you to which effect you choose to dwell on.

Have you ever had an event that happened in your life that was portrayed as ‘bad’ to most people that you instead viewed it as ‘good’?