There’s no doubt that NLP techniques can be used to make you more successful in your professional life.  Whether you want to use these methods to become a more effective salesperson or to simply drive change in your workplace, the use of these tactics in the world of business is well-established.

But what if you’d like to translate these techniques to other aspects of your life?  If NLP can make you more persuasive in your dealings with other people, shouldn’t it also be able to help persuade your subconscious to cultivate positive personal habits?

The answer is a resounding, “Yes!”  Whether you want to use these tactics to lose weight by eliminating sweets cravings and increasing your motivation to get to the gym, or you need the extra encouragement to make progress on a personal project, the principles of NLP can be easily adapted to drive change in your personal – as well as your professional – life.

Here’s how to do it…

“Anchors”

The first technique that can be used to motivate positive change in your personal life is the “anchor.”

Personal Development Planet defines this technique thusly: “An anchor is simply a connection between a stimulus and a certain emotional response.”  In the popular psychology experiment conducted by Pavlov on a group of hungry dogs, the bell that signaled the arrival of food was used as an anchor device that transmitted the state of upcoming satiation to the canine participants.

When used properly in your own life, being able to create and manipulate these anchor associations can provide powerful benefits.  For example, suppose you’re trying to woo a potential partner, but feel awkward and uncomfortable every time you’re around this person.  Now, imagine how much more smoothly your courtship would proceed if you were able to dial up feelings of self-confidence and assuredness on command.

To create anchors, you first need to identify the emotional state you’d like to achieve on command, as well as the signal you’ll use to trigger this state (typically a single word said out loud or a specific hand gesture).  Then, visualize an experience from your past when you felt your desired emotional state strongly while repeating your chosen signal.  Following our dating example, to be able to fire a “confidence” anchor, recall a situation from your past when you felt powerfully confident.

Relive every part of this experience while practicing with your anchor signal.  As the anchor becomes more defined in your mind, you should be able to call it up at will by deploying your physical signal.

Visualization Exercises

The use of these anchors enables you to tie a specific emotion or feeling to a particular hand gesture.  And while this can be incredibly useful in defusing awkward or uncomfortable situations, it’s limited in that each anchor only ties to a single emotion.

Now, imagine you’re sitting face to face with the object of your affection.  At some points in your conversation, you might want to be able to call up your “confidence” anchor – but you might also want to make yourself appear witty, self-deprecating or charming.  And that’s a lot of anchors!

So in order to ensure that your anchors are reserved for the most powerful emotions you want to call up, you’ll want to make use of another NLP technique – visualization – to motivate positive changes in your personal life.

Visualization is an incredibly powerful technique because it gives our minds a template to work off of.  Simply saying, “I wish I wasn’t so awkward” or “I wish I was more motivated” isn’t that helpful, because it doesn’t give our brains a framework for promoting positive change.  Neither one of these negative statements describe alternative behaviors, which leaves our minds frustrated, but unable to produce meaningful change.

Instead, by visualizing how we’d like situations to unfold, we give our brains a blueprint for creating positive actions.  To use visualizations effectively, imagine your desired scenario unfolding from three different angles:

• From your own perspective, within your own mind,
• From the perspective of an outsider who’s interacting with you, and
• From the perspective of a neutral third party.

For example, if you want to have more motivation to go to the gym regularly, start by visualizing yourself coming home from work, changing into your gym clothes and going to get in a good workout.  Then, change your visualization to imagine what someone you interact with at the gym sees in your behavior.  Does this person see a tired, dejected person dragging himself through his workouts, or does he see a fit, energetic person upon which he can model his own behavior?

Finally, imagine the scene as if you’re watching it unfold from above.  How do the people in your visualization behave and interact with each other?  Seeing them modeling the behaviors you’d like to address in your own life makes this tool a powerful way to drive changes to your own personal habits.

Image: ElDave

Although most people associate the process of negotiation with used car salesmen and job salary discussions, the truth is that we subconsciously use negotiation tactics in many other areas of our lives.  Whether you’re trying to secure the best table in a restaurant or get a last minute appointment squeezed in with your hairdresser, you’ll find that the principles of NLP negotiation can be used to successfully navigate many different aspects of your life.

Here’s how to use these proven negotiation tactics to get anything you want…

Step #1 – Build rapport with your partner

The more comfortable your negotiation partner feels with you, the more likely it is you’ll wind up reaching a satisfactory conclusion for both parties.  Implement the following tips in order to build this all important rapport with your partner:

• Make eye contact.  Looking your negotiation partner in the eyes creates a personal connection that puts both of you on the same page.  Try to follow your partner’s lead in terms of how much connection to maintain throughout the negotiation.
• Match your partner’s body language.  To build rapport naturally, focus on playing up the similarities between you and your partner.  Matching his body language will help put your negotiation partner at ease, making him more receptive to negotiations.
• Follow your partner’s vocal patterns.  Similarly, matching your partner’s vocal patterns helps to build rapport by eliminating disparate elements that can produce cognitive dissonance and diminish the effectiveness of your negotiations.

Step #2 – Understand the position of both parties

Of course, building rapport by adopting mannerisms that reflect your negotiation partner’s behaviors goes a long way towards making both parties feel comfortable with the process – but simply matching physical signals isn’t going to get the job done.

To make your actual negotiations go as smoothly as possible, it’s essential that you understand the positions and interests of both parties involved in the debate.  Taking the time to uncover these hidden motivations will give you a much stronger negotiation position, making it more likely that you’ll reach a satisfactory conclusion for both parties.

Let’s take the obvious negotiation example of purchasing a used car to see how this process works in real life…

As a buyer, your goal is likely to purchase a car that meets your needs (whether in terms of appearance, safety features, storage capacity or some other criteria) for as little money as possible.  You may also be attempting to secure favorable financing terms, get extra bonuses included with your purchase or meet some other objective based on your unique needs.

Your seller’s goals may be less apparent.  While he’s obviously interested in selling you a car and earning the commission, he may also be concerned about meeting a monthly sales quota or qualifying for additional sales incentives offered by his dealership.  He may have other motivations in place as well, but you won’t know about them unless you take the time to ask pointed questions that help you identify these issues.

Step #3 – Use the NLP Hierarchy of Ideas to reach a conclusion

Once you’ve identified both parties’ starting points, use the NLP Hierarchy of Ideas to “chunk up” or “chunk down” your negotiations so that you’re negotiating on the same conceptual level.  The Hierarchy of Ideas refers to the level of detail involved in the statements being made.  If you and your negotiation partner are working at different levels of the hierarchy, your odds of reaching a successful conclusion are diminished.

For example, if you’re thinking in terms of specific numbers and the sales person is trying to pitch you on the idea of driving away in the car you’ve just fallen in love with, you aren’t operating on the same plane of negotiation.  To gain control of the situation, you’ll need to either match your statements to the seller’s level of detail or steer the salesperson towards your level on the Hierarchy of Ideas.

Step #4 – Use the conditional close to finish the deal

The ideal result of all this “chunking” and delving into your partner’s hidden motivation is that you’ll be able to hit upon a solution that meets both of your needs.  In our car example, you might agree to buy sooner to help your salesperson meet his quota, in exchange for a lower total price or better financing terms.  Finding these hidden opportunities can require some practice, but what’s essential is that you not lose your momentum by failing to close when these situations arise.

If you’ve found a happy medium, but your partner is still balking, consider the conditional close.  The conditional close is an NLP frame in which you transform your partner’s objections into a condition that the sale closes.  Following our car sales example, as soon as you determine that your partner is motivated to close the deal quickly, one potential conditional close example would be, “If I buy today, would you be willing to drop the price another $2,000?”

Obviously, it may take some practice in order to implement all of these techniques into your next negotiation.  However, if you put in the effort to improve your negotiation skills, you’ll be amazed with what you’re able to acquire!

Image: jonny goldstein

At the heart of neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) is a set of 13 presuppositions that form the basis for every NLP technique that’s built on this groundwork.  While it’s important to recognize that these presuppositions aren’t presumed to be 100% applicable, 100% of the time, accepting them as generally true is an important part of translating NLP theories to your own life.

To review, the 13 presuppositions of NLP are as follows:

1. Behind every behavior there is a positive intention.
2. The map is not the territory.
3. Anything can be accomplished when the task is broken down into small enough chunks.
4. There is no such thing as failure, only feedback.
5. People already have all the resources they need.
6. Every behavior is useful in some context.
7. If one person can do something, other people can learn from that person’s success.
8. The messenger never rests until the message is delivered.
9. The meaning of your communication is the response you get.
10. Communication is redundant.
11. Choice is better than no choice.
12. People always make the best choice available to them at the time.
13. If what you are doing isn’t working, do anything else.

Understanding how these presuppositions influence NLP theory is important, but what’s even more useful is figuring out how these broad truths can be applied to more specific aspects of your life.

One area that’s particularly well suited to the application of NLP presuppositions is sales communications.  No matter what industry you’re in or what job title you hold, chances are you make use of sales communication in some aspect of daily life.  For example, you may work as a salesperson who pitches products to potential buyers, or you may simply use elements of sales communication to persuade others to see your point of view, as is the case for most project managers.

Since so many of us make use of at least some elements of sales communication, understanding how to be more effective and persuasive is often a vital pursuit within the business world.  If you find yourself in this position, consider the following potential applications of NLP presuppositions to your sales communications.

First, let’s take a look at the ninth presupposition – that the intention of your communication is the result you derive from it.  On its face, this sounds contradictory.  After all, if you’re pitching a client on a new product and get a “No” response, the result clearly isn’t matching up with what you expected to hear.

However, it’s important to remember that communication isn’t just the words that you’ve said.  Your appearance, body language and mannerisms are all communicating as well, creating a unique experience for your listener.  The overall result of all these different elements working together can be determined by the response that’s elicited from the listener – which may or may not be what we intended to communicate in the first place!

If you find yourself frequently engaging in sales communication without receiving the response you desire, consider that there may be other factors that are clouding your message and preventing you from reaching your intended resolution.  Ask a trusted friend or family member to watch you give a sample pitch or presentation to see if another set of eyes can help you pick up on any of these unintentional saboteurs.

Another fun NLP presupposition that can be applied to the sales process is the idea that choice is always better than no choice.

Think, for a second, about how this idea plays out in your own life by imagining two sets of kitchen cupboards.  The first has all the ingredients to make your favorite meal, while the second has these materials plus enough to make fiver other dishes as well.  Even though you’ll be able to prepare your favorite meal with the items found in both sets of cupboards, knowing that you have a choice to select this dish is infinitely more satisfying than feeling as if you’re stuck with a single option.

When you enter into any type of sales communication, remember this principle and apply it to the statements make.  Even if what you’re offering is a false choice (for example, “You can either invest in this product now or wait a few months, but then your competitors will be ahead of you,”), allowing your prospect to feel as if he’s making the final decision often results in more satisfactory outcomes for you.

Finally, consider the 13^th NLP presupposition as it applies to sales communication.  There are innumerable ways to attempt to persuade people in these instances – so why do so many of us stick to the same “tried and true” tactics, even if they fail repeatedly?!  If you aren’t having a lot of luck persuading your prospects to buy in to your products or ideas, try something – anything – new to see if your results will improve.

Image: Mark Kidsley

In my last post, I talked about NLP “meta programs”, which essentially control how we think and process information.  However, while applying these formats to your own skills and development can be helpful, using them to uncover the hidden motivations of those around you to determine how to drive change in the workplace can be even more useful.

The following are three different NLP meta-programs that, when applied to your co-workers, can provide you with significant insight into how to improve your working conditions:

Technique #1 – Applying the Toward versus Away Principle

The “toward versus away” meta-program addresses whether individual people are more motivated by the potential to achieve a certain benefit or the drive to avoid pain.  NLP master Tony Robbins describes the distinction by saying:

“All human behavior revolves around the urge gain pleasure or avoid pain. You pull away from a lighted match in order to avoid the pain of burning your hand. You sit and watch a beautiful sunset because you get pleasure from the glorious celestial show as day glides into night.”

And while it’s useful to know which of these two motivating forces you, yourself, respond best to, identifying how your co-workers fall on this spectrum can also be incredibly useful in terms of driving change in the workplace.

For example, suppose you believe it’s in your company’s best interest to pursue a new segment of the market.  But since it’s never been done before, your manager is resistant – offering excuse after excuse as to why your proposal won’t work.  But if you knew more about where your manager fell on the “pleasure versus pain” scale, you’d know which of the two following arguments would be more likely to succeed:

“I really believe that, by targeting this new segment of the market, we stand to increase profits by as much as 20%.  Can you even imagine how much your boss would like that?”

Versus…

“I know it’s a risk to pursue this opportunity, but the market segment I want to target is growing at 40% a year.  If we don’t act now, I’m afraid we’re going to miss a golden opportunity to grow our profits.”

Technique #2 – Understanding NLP Work Styles

Another NLP meta-program that can be extremely useful in driving change in the workplace is understanding the unique work style of each co-worker and manager you deal with.  NLP theory outlines three distinct work styles that you need to be aware of:

• Independent – People who are independent workers have extreme difficulty participating in group projects and tend to do better when left to their own devices.
• Cooperative – Conversely, some workers perform best as part of a group, where they have the opportunity to bounce ideas off other members of the team.
• Proximate – Proximate workers take a middle-ground to this debate, preferring to work with others while still retaining personal authority over individual aspects of a project.

Attempting to drive change within the workplace means understanding as much about your fellow employees as possible – and work styles are a great place to start this analysis.

For example, suppose you’re attempting to convince your boss to consider a remote work arrangement that will add more flexibility to your schedule.  By understanding how your boss works in relation to others, you’ll be able to determine which of the following arguments will be most effective:

“I’ll be out of your hair more, so working independently from home will help us both to be more productive [for the independent boss.]”

Versus…

“Even though I won’t be here in person, there are plenty of collaboration tools I can use from home that’ll make it feel like I’m still part of the team [for the cooperative boss].”

Versus…

“As long as I handle my specific parts of our projects, there’s no reason I can’t collaborate with the rest of the team using teleconferencing tools [for the proximate boss].”

Technique #3 – Emphasizing Possibility versus Necessity

Another NLP meta-program that’s used to process information and inform life decisions is the conflict of possibility versus necessity.  A person’s who’s motivated by necessity makes decisions based needs that must be fulfilled – as an example, taking a stable, but unexciting job in order to pay the bills.  Others thrive off of possibility and require a set of stimulating options, experiences and choices in order to feel fulfilled.

Chances are you work with both types of personalities in your office.  In order to drive change within the workplace, you’ll need determine who’s who to uncover these employee’s hidden motivations.

In this case, consider the example of trying to convince your boss to enroll you in an expensive training program.  If you knew your boss was an analytic personality motivated by necessity, you could argue about how essential the skills you’ll learn through the course will be to your business’s future success.  On the other hand, if your manager was more possibility-oriented, asking him or her to imagine all the different ways your new skills could be used may be much more effective.

In all of these examples, applying the NLP meta-programs discussed in my last post helps you to determine how your co-workers think and what they’re motivated by.  Using this information should help you to come up with the most persuasive arguments needed in order to drive change within the workplace.

Image: Marie Carter

Each and every day, our brains process billions and billions of sensory messages, transforming these collections of lights and sounds into meaningful, actionable information.  And while this is no small feat in and of itself, what’s even more interesting – at least, from an NLP standpoint – is how this information processing capability can be used to drive our thoughts and reactions.

According to NLP teachings, our brains process these experiences according to a number of different strategies, known as “meta-programs.”

Essentially, meta-programs give us a framework for processing thoughts and experiences according to a set of pre-defined criteria; much like a computer uses software programs to handle repeated tasks and demands.  If the computer had to write a separate program to process new information every time it was entered, the processing demands would be overwhelming!

In their landmark Encyclopedia of NLP terms, researchers Robert Dilts and Judith Delozier describe NLP meta-programs (referred to here as “strategies”) in terms of this same computer metaphor:

“A strategy is like a program in a computer. It tells you what to do with the information you are getting, and like a computer program, you can use the same strategy to process a lot of different kinds of information.”

And while there are plenty of different NLP meta-programs we’ll discuss later, let’s look at one example now in order to better understand how these strategies help our brains to better process incoming information:

One common NLP meta-program is the “Internal versus External Frame of Reference”, which defines where and how we seek validation.  Think, for a second, about how you prefer to receive feedback on projects at work.  If you need others to compliment you or congratulate you on a job well done, you’re operating with an external frame of reference.  On the opposite side of this NLP technique, if it’s enough for you to simply *know* you’ve done a good job, you’re processing feedback based on an internal frame of reference.

In this example, the sensory input that’s being processed is feedback on your job performance.  Your boss provides the input, but it’s up to your brain to utilize existing NLP meta-programs in order to interpret this data.

Following this theory, an employee who’s using an external frame of reference may be unsatisfied with a lackluster response from his or her boss, while a worker with an internal frame of reference may feel uncomfortable if too much verbal recognition is given from outside parties.  By understanding the role that NLP meta-programs play in causing these feelings of discomfort, we can seek to resolve these issues more logically in order to achieve greater productivity and overall happiness.

In addition to the “Internal versus External Frame of Reference” NLP meta-program, there are a number of others you should be aware of:

• Overview versus Detail – When confronted with new information, does your brain prefer to seek out additional detail or understand the bigger picture?
• Proactive versus Reactive – Do you prefer to take a proactive approach to dealing with problems and challenges or do you usually wait to see what results from these issues before taking action?
• Toward versus Away – Are you more motivated by the thought of obtaining a benefit (“toward” motivation) or by avoiding pain and discomfort (“away” motivation)?
• Comparison Processing – When presented with new items or ideas, do you tend to associate this information with similar concepts in your mind or instead contrast it to dissimilar items?
• Self versus Others – In general, do you tend to think it terms of “What’s in it for me?” or “What is the effect on the group?”
• Matcher versus Mismatcher – Similar to comparison processing, do you look at the world and see how alike certain items are or do you take more notice of their differences?
• Time Orientation – Are you an “in the moment” person?  Or do you tend to view items within a historical or future-oriented context?

There are plenty of other NLP meta-programs out there that can be studied, but what’s most interesting to note about the items on this list is that there’s no “right or wrong” answer.  If you tend to process incoming information according to a detailed perspective versus a “big picture” approach, you aren’t wrong – you’re simply using your own unique set of NLP meta-programming.

As you might imagine, being able to recognize and understand these NLP meta-programs within your own psyche can be incredibly value.  If, for example, you’re able to determine that you are a detail-oriented person, you’ll prioritize seeking out the level of information you need to work successfully when approaching new projects or ideas.  You may also seek out people with a similar mental set up, as you’ll find you naturally have better rapport with those who understand your unique needs.

Once you understand how NLP meta-programs are applied to your own thoughts and ideas, you’ll naturally start to see the results of this mental processing in others.  In my next post, I’ll show you how uncovering the NLP meta-programs that others are using can help you to drive change in your workplace – so stick around for more information on how to use these tools successfully in various aspects of your life!

Image: Rego

Unless you’re the world’s most perfect salesperson, chances are you’ve run into objections before that have threatened to derail the entire sales process.  Really, is there anything more frustrating than a prospect that seems ready to buy tossing up a “game changer” statement that puts the future of your sale into question?

In fact, as a salesperson, you should welcome these objections, as they give you a chance to sharpen your sales skills and increase your likelihood of converting more prospects to buyers in the future.  Don’t panic when you encounter these roadblocks – instead, welcome them as learning opportunities and be prepared to beat your buyers at their own games.

The following are three of the most common sales objections you’ll encounter, whether you’re selling low cost products, high value services or anything in between.  Practice your responses to each of these objections using popular NLP techniques so that you’ll be prepared to encounter them in the real world.

Objection #1 – “I need more time to decide…”

Especially when you’re selling big ticket items, one of the most common objections you’ll see is the classic “stall” maneuver.  If your prospect says that he needs more time to think about something, be aware that he’s usually subconsciously using this technique to cover up an even bigger concern.

For example, your prospect may be stalling because he doesn’t feel he can trust you, or because he doesn’t completely understand how your offering will help him specifically.  In either case, he’s attempting to exit the situation without hurting your feelings and addressing what’s really on his mind.

In this situation, your best bet is to keep him talking.  If you give the prospect time to think and promise to return later to follow up, the odds are there isn’t going to be a “later”.  To prevent this from occuring, get in the habit of asking more questions whenever objections are presented.  Consider the following example:

“What was it about my proposal that you wanted to think over?  Is there anything I can explain better to make the benefits of my product clearer right now?”

By keeping your prospect engaged in the conversation, you should be able to uncover his true objections and meet them head on in order to keep the sales process rolling.

Objection #2 – “I can’t afford this right now…”

Ideally, your sales process should make the value of the product or service you’re selling so crystal clear that your prospect simply can’t wait to close the deal in order to start saving time or money.

But if you find yourself constantly having to justify the cost of the item you’re selling, you could benefit from an NLP technique known as “pre-framing”.  Most people are familiar with the idea of “re-framing” an argument – that is, taking a stated objection and spinning the way it’s phrased in order to minimize its impact.  The problem here is that the objection has already been stated, and often it’s difficult to recover once the argument is out in the open.

Instead, by “pre-framing” your expected objections, you take the power away from these arguments by tearing them down before they can even be presented.  For example, if you anticipate that price will be a concern, consider the following “pre-frame”:

“Although I know that price might seem high compared to my competitors, you have to look at the long term savings.  Over five years, my product has the potential to save your company over $10,000 – far more than what my competitors can guarantee.”

By addressing the specific objections you anticipate up front, you remove that from being a concern that has the potential to prevent your sales from occurring.

Objection #3 – “I’m just not sure I need your product…”

Has this one ever happened to you?  You’ve gone through your sales pitch, carefully highlighting the benefits of your offerings – practically making it seem as if your prospect couldn’t live without the item or service you’re selling – only to hear, “I’m not sure I really need that…”

It’s frustrating for sure, but this objection can be solved through the use of “embedded commands” – an NLP technique that works by enclosing highly persuasive statements into seemingly ordinary speech in order to “soften the blow” and subtly shift your prospect past his objections.

As an example, say you followed up your prospect’s objection in this case with the following statement:

“I understand your objections, but let me take a quick second to review the benefits of my product so that you can buy with confidence.”

On the surface, it seems as if you’re just transitioning the conversation back to the benefits of your product or service.  But in the process, you’ve also casually integrated the command, “buy with confidence” into your sales pitch, giving your buyer powerful subliminal cues that encourage him to close the deal.

Have you encountered any of these objections when selling?  If so, how have you handled them in the past and how will you use NLP techniques to deal with them in the future?

People generally like to be around other people who are like themselves. Matthew Ferry, a motivational speaker and sales trainer, says that it’s simliar to the way tribes work. A tribe consists of a number of people who are all similar to one another. They all talk, walk and do things in a similar way.

When someone from tribe A tries to interacts with someone from tribe B, tribe B tends to be a little standoffish and uncomfortable. This is mainly because the person from tribe A is different and tribe B doesn’t trust people who are different.

Has there ever been a time when you met someone you didn’t know and felt like you two just didn’t get along? This is because you appeared to come across as someone who’s from a completely different tribe. 

IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU, IT’S ABOUT THE PERSON IN FRONT OF YOU

You may be thinking, “why should I try to be like the other person, the other person should be like me.”

In communication, you cannot be selfish, in fact you must be very giving. The more you choose to be like the person in front of you, the closer you will be to building rapport.

From my experiences, people trust friends, and when they trust you, they are more likely to do business with you.

How do you get the person in front of you to feel comfortable with you and recognize you as their friend?

1. Match Their Tonality

• Do they talk loud or soft? You’ll want to talk at their volume level at all times. If they are naturally loud, then you talk loud. If they are naturally soft, then you do the same.
• How do they pronounce words? e.g. (tomato or tamato) Listen to how they say their words and do the same.

2. The Way They Talk

People talk in one of three ways: through their nose, throat, or chest. Figuring it out won’t be too difficult, compare them to the descriptions below and talk the same way.

• Throat: A very throat-ee person will sound similar to Kermit the Frog
• Nose: An person who talks through their nose will sound a bit like they’re congested
• Chest: People who talk to their chest usually sound very deep and loud.

3. Follow Their Rate of Speech

Some people talk really really fast, and some people talk very s-l-o-w. If they talk slow and you talk fast, what’s the first thing that might come to someones mind? Usually when you hear someone who speaks really fast, your brain links them to a slick fast talkin’ sales person. We automatically go into defense mode: “warning warning….salesman…salesman!”

The opposite scenario would be when you talk slow to someone who speaks fast. They might think that your dumb or stupid (which obviously is NOT true).

This is why it is apparent that you speak at the same speed they speak.

4. Repeat & Approve

This is so simple yet but probably one that most people often forget. After they speak, make sure you repeat a very brief synopsis of what they say and then approve (excellent, great, amazing, thats exciting). This shows that you are indeed listening. For some odd reason, people like when you listen 🙂

5. Body Language

Matching body language is also very critical. I’ve listed how you should match each particular part of the person’s body.

• Posture/Body Movement: Wait 10-15 seconds, and then shift your body in the same way.
• Gestures: Use the same hand gestures they use, but only when it’s your turn to talk
• Facial Expressions: Match their facial expressions instantly
• Shrugs: If they shrug, you should shrug instantly
• Head Nods: Instantly

Using these tactics will amazingly increase the levels of rapport you achieve with the people you speak to.

Anthony Robbins said, “People who like each other tend to be like each other.” What this means is that the more similar you are with the person you’re speaking to, the more rapport you’ll have. Ultimately with more rapport comes more power and influence. Surely this is something anyone would look for… Check out this video:

Your handshake can say a lot about you. Have you ever had a time when you went to go shake someone’s hand and immediately felt confused with what angle you should be at, how hard you should or how many pumps you should do? Take a look at this video: