Author Archives: AJ Kumar

Do You Know Why Parrots Would Make Great Salesmen?

Have you ever had the opportunity to speak to a parrot? It sounds odd, but what I mean is to listen to a parrot mock the words you speak to it? Interestingly enough, the parrot is performing a very basic technique used in NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming). The parrot is obviously not doing this on purpose, but it does demonstrate the technique almost perfectly. One of the fastest and easiest ways to develop a connection with someone is torepeat what they say and approve it.

Repeat & Approve

Now this will come across as the obvious and you may experience a moment of “duh”, so give me a chance to explain. Most people automatically talk in the way I’m about to explain already. However, they talk this way with people they are already comfortable or friends with.

Example: 2 friends already in rapport

John: Hey Jack, I just bought a new car!

Jack: You bought a new car? That’s fantastic! What did you get?

John: A Range Rover.

Jack: A Range Rover. You’re kidding, that’s awesome! How much did ya get it for?

Every time John makes a comment in their conversation, Jack repeats what he says, then approves of it. This shows that you are actively listening to the person you are talking to and that you are genuinely interested in what they have to say. You do this by repeating what they just said (shows that you are listening) and approving it (shows interest). Pretty simple right?

Here is another example of how this can be used in a business scenario (Jack is selling John on why he needs sales training):

Example: 2 friends already in rapport

Jack: So John, how much money did you make last year?

John: I made about $100,000 last year

Jack: You made $100,000, that’s excellent!

John: Yeah, thanks, I worked my butt off for that money.

Jack: Worked your butt off, I hear ya brother, and that’s fantastic. How much do you want to make this year?

John: My goal is to double it…so around $200,000.

Jack: You want to double it to $200,000, that’s perfect. Obviously you realize that in order for you to double up your business you need to do one of two things….

John: What’s that?

Jack: You need to either to double the work you do or you need to use your time more efficiently. Which way would you prefer?

John: More efficient way of course…

Jack: The more efficient way, good. That’s exactly why a person like you is the perfect candidate for my training system. Let me explain

Positive Words That Show Approval:

    • Fantastic
    • That’s Great
    • Nice
    • Excellent
    • Smart move
    • That’s perfect
    • Good
    • Good for you
    • Great

      What if They Say Something Negative?

      If someone your talking to you just told you that their aunt just died, you should NOT say “your aunt just died? That’s fantastic!”

      Neutral/Negative Words That Show Approval:

        • Interesting
        • Really…
        • I see…
        • ouch…
        • outrageous
        • you don’t say

          You should always be careful when responding to something negative. Use the word “interesting”. That’s typically the best approval word that allows you to move forward during an awkward comment.

          Overkill

          When I give you advice on how to become a persuasive communicator, I expect you to use the techniques such as this one appropriately. What’s important with the Repeat & Approve technique is that when you speak, your tonality should come across with sincerity. Although, I would obviously imagine you being sincere to begin with.

          Don’t place your focus on repeating everything they say. By that I mean, you don’t want them to come out of a trance and be aware of something that seems amiss. When I say trance, I mean that their main focus is the current conversation with you. If you do something totally out of the blue, you will interrupt their pattern and cause them to get out of their trance. Pattern interruption is actually another technique I will teach you next time which CAN be deliberately used toward your advantage. So be cautious when implementing this technique for the first time.

          Start Today

          To implement this new strategy right away, have a conversation with someone you don’t get a long with that well. Be as genuinely interested as you possibly can but don’t go “overkill”. The good news about developing a connection with someone is that you almost instantly know if you’re in rapport with them or not.  Just be consciously aware of how you feel throughout the conversation.

          After you do this, come back and tell me… was there a difference in your level of communication?

          The Pain and Pleasure Principle

          Every single human being is motivated 1 of 2 ways: move away from pain or go towards pleasure. For a very simplistic example, in most religions, there is the Heaven and Hell concept

          People who are motivated by pleasure:

          A person lives their life to go to Heaven. This means that the thought of going to Heaven (pleasure) motivates them to be a good person.

          People who are motivated by pain:

          A person lives their life to stay away from Hell. This means that the thought of going to Hell (pain) motivates them to be a good person.

          Since many (not all)  religions use it asa type of leverage, this principle has been a deciding factor amongst people for a very long time. This is also why goals are a great thing to have, but don’t work for many people (away from pain people).

          To find out if you or your the person you’re talking to is away from pain or towards pleasure, ask the following questions:

          What do you want? (it doesn’t have to be materialistic)
          What’s important to you about doing/having?
          And what will that do?

          People who are away from pain will answer with the following:

          • financially free
          • it will make life easier
          • make you stress free
          • prevent
          • avoid
          • remove

          People who are toward pleasure will answer with the following:

          • feel good
          • make you happy
          • accomplish
          • attain
          • include
          • achieve

          How to use it to be a persuasive communicator:

          Self-motivation is a very powerful tool that unfortunately most people don’t have. Most people rely on external factors which won’t necessarily always be there.

          People that are toward pleasure should always create goals and then find friend, family, co-workers etc. to hold them accountable to them. Doing so will allow them to keep them focus and help them be reminded and re-reminded of what they want to achieve.

          Try this: Create a vision board. Cut out some pictures of the things you want and put them on piece of paper you can hang on a wall. It’s very simple and yes it works.

          People who are away from pain must simply think about what they don’t want. For example, if you are thinking of not going into work today:

          If I don’t go to work, I might get fired. If I get fired, I’ll have no money. If I have no money, then I can’t pay my mortgage. If I can’t pay my mortgage, I’ll have to live on the streets. I should probably just go to work.

          Other ways this concept can work in your advantage

          The concept obviously remains the same as if you were to do this to yourself. Scenarios of using the pain and pleasure principle on others would be:

          • Employees -reward employees for working hard or warn them about what happens if you don’t
          • Sales – have prospects buy your product/service for what it can do or have them buy to avoid what happens if they don’t
          • Kids – Tell your kids to clean up their room and do their homework so you can take them to get ice cream or if they don’t, you’ll take away their TV.

          Surely you’re starting to realize the vast amount of leverage you’ll acquire by using the pain and pleasure principle.

          It’s very simple to apply as long as you pay close attention to which direction the person you’re communicating with is going. Practice by writing down the words I listed above and listen for them when you talk with someone.

          9 Secrets to Present Powerfully

          You’re at a huge networking event.  Nervously, you glance around the room and see many familiar faces. Some of the faces are new and are even smiling. These are the faces of your fellow club members. You have talked to them many times on many different occasions. So why should this be any different? Why do you have a big knot in your stomach? Why do you have an overwhelming desire to run? Why? Because tonight, YOU are the speaker. This is the first time you’ll formally speak in front of your peers. Are you ready?

          1. READY, SET, GO

          When does your speech actually start?  When you arrive at the lectern? Does it begin with the first utterance of a sound or word?  No.  Your presentation begins the minute the emcee begins to talk about you.  The audience automatically sweeps the crowd searching for the speaker.  Keep poised and confident.  Remember all eyes are on you!

          2. RISE TO THE OCCASION

          The emcee announces your name, and the audience breaks out into applause.  Now it’s time to rise to the occasion.  All eyes are on you, watching you.  Gracefully rise out of your chair, stand tall, and slowly walk toward center stage.  Take your time walking.  The more time you take walking, the more status your audience will subconsciously give you.  Let the audience’s clapping carry you to the stage as if you were gliding on a magic carpet.  Remember to watch where you are walking.  There could be cords and wires on the ground or chair legs in your path.  Any one of these obstacles could cause you to have a nice trip.  If something awkward should happen on your way to the lectern, remain calm and use humor.  Using humor connects people and is more effective than using self-deprecating remarks.  Let your audience know that there’s nothing to worry about, you’re okay, and the show will go on.  I remember seeing Robert Allen, famous author and millionaire, fall off the stage moments after he arrived.  Instantly, he jumped back up on stage and poked fun at the hotel stage lighting, which had caused his fall. Allen’s humor set the audience at ease, and they roared with laughter at his quick wit.

          3. THE MOMENT BEFORE

          Now, you can see your way clear to the lectern.  The closer you get, the more nervous you feel. Not to worry, I have a theatre secret for you.  Ever wonder how actors can just walk on stage as if they’re already in motion?  It’s easy; they use techniques.  One popular technique is called the moment before.  The moment before is a trade secret actors use to create action before they walk on stage so they enter already in motion.  The moment before is that moment right before you walk onto the stage.  Actors create an action or simply a thought to propel themselves into the moment.  So to keep your butterflies in check, as you are walking to the lectern, use this technique.  For example, an actor might be thinking, Yuk, I see a big spider!  For the speaker, you might be thinking to yourself as you hear the applause, They love me; I’m going to give a great speech!  These simple statements will do two things.  First, you’ll already be active and ready to deliver your speech.  Second, you’ll give your mind something to do other than think about how nervous you are.  Consequently, you’ll eliminate any signs of nervousness“ for the time being anyway.

          4.  LECTERN VS. PODIUM

          You made it to the lectern.  Before we continue, let me say this about the lectern.  The lectern is not a podium, and a podium is not the same thing as a lectern.  The most common mistake speakers make is calling the lectern a podium.  Webster’s Revised Unabridged Dictionary’s defines a lectern as an upright desk or stand with a slanted top used to hold a text at the proper height for a lecturer,  whereas a podium is an elevated platform for an orchestra conductor or public speaker.  Podium comes from the word Podiatry, the profession dealing with the care of feet.  An easy way to remember this is to think of a podium as a platform where you put your feet.   This trick could save you from the embarrassment of confusing the words podium and lectern.

          5.  WHEN YOU ARRIVE

          Okay, you have finally arrived at the lectern on the podium after what seemed like a very long walk.  Before you utter a word, take time to adjust the microphone and prepare yourself.  Stand 10 to 12 inches behind the lectern.  Take a moment to scan your audience with your eyes as if in one smooth, wave motion with a genuine smile.  Take a beat before you speak. Breathe and then start with your opening line.  Taking this moment will instantly put you at ease and help you to connect to your audience.

          6.  THE OPENING

          The first words out of your mouth should be an attention grabber!  The best speeches are organized into three parts, a beginning, a middle, and an end.  Your opening line must grab your audience’s attention and arouse interest in your topic.  Examples of a good opening are

          • Enrolling questions
          • Staggering statistical statements
          • Statements of declaration

          Once, I heard a speaker begin his speech with I’m late, I’m late, I’m late!  He said it with such emotion that the audience could actually feel his frustration with being late.  Another statement of declaration used by a young college student was, I’m tired of being a grunt!  That one turned heads.  Whether you choose to start with a statement of declaration, enrolling questions, or a staggering statistical statement, make it appropriate for your audience and tie it back to your speech topic.

          7.  DON’T LET THEM SEE YOU SWEAT

          Whatever you do before, during and after your speech do not apologize! A common mistake new speaker’s make is to begin their speech with an apologetic statement.  Sorry, I’m late. Forgive me for not being prepared. I’m so nervous. These statements are self-sabotaging.  Don’t do it.  No one has to know that you’re nervous and, quite frankly, the audience won’t know it unless you tell them.  Furthermore, most symptoms of nervousness don’t even show.  For instance, your audience can’t see your sweaty palms, hear your heart racing, or feel your soaring butterflies in the pit of your stomach.  So don’t tell them.

          There are many techniques to reduce nervousness and many books written on the subject.  These books are full of tricks as simple as deep breathing exercises to the more complex methods such as hypnotherapy.  However, I believe there is only one technique that really works.  Remember the three rules of real estate?  Location, location, location.  The three rules of public speaking are practice, practice, practice.  The best way to reduce and eventually eliminate nervousness is practice.  Get up and speak whenever you get the opportunity.   Rehearse your speech and get up and deliver it to your audience.  The more you speak, the less nervous you will be.  So remember, don’t ever let them see you sweat, even if you are.

          8.  TREAT THE LECTERN AS YOU WOULD A CHILD

          Never leave the lectern unattended. You would never walk away and leave a child alone in a supermarket or in a train station, would you?  No, that would be absurd.  Yet, how many times have you seen emcees announce the speaker and just walk away?  Every member of the audience feels this public display of awkwardness.  Not to mention the speaker having to either cover up or make up for the lack of interaction.  And how about the speaker who ends his speech and marches off the stage, leaving the lectern alone? The emcee quickly and perhaps awkwardly rushes to take charge of the situation. When the speech is over, the speaker should return the lectern to the emcee.  It works both ways.

          In either case, this poor protocol can easily be avoided if you remember to treat the lectern as a child and never leave it unattended.  Let me make myself clear.  I’m not saying that you should deliver your entire speech from behind this wooded barricade. No.  When the lectern is turned over to you as a speaker, you are free to move about, returning to the lectern from time to time as needed.  I’m referring to when you are finished with your speech.  Wait patiently at the lectern, enjoying the applause, until the emcee takes charge of the lectern.  Think of a relay race where the runner passes a baton to another runner before slowing her pace.  Once the baton is passed, the passing runner is finished.

          If your job is to introduce the speaker, after you announce his name, stay at the lectern until he arrives.   In the United States, it is customary to shake hands as a professional courtesy.  Stay at the lectern and greet your speaker; then gracefully leave without upstaging your guest.  Since not all emcees and speakers will have read this article and know what to do, tell them; explain it to them before the event and eliminate a potentially awkward moment.

          Never touch the lectern inappropriately.  Most of us would never dream of hitting, grabbing, or leaning on a child.  Yet, I see speakers sprawled all over the lectern as they speak.  Often new presenters are so nervous they grab the edges of the lectern so tightly their knuckles turn white. Then there are those people who beat or pound on the lectern to drive a point home, leaving the audience feeling very defensive.   The major problem with treating the lectern this way, outside of offending your audience, is that it distracts your audience and prevents them from hearing what you have to say.  It helps to stand 10 to 12 inches behind the lectern to avoid the temptation of touching it inappropriately.

          9.  LOVE MEANS NEVER HAVING TO SAY THANK YOU

          Remember Love Story?  It was a popular movie made in 1970 starring Ryan O’Neal and Ali MacGraw.  In one scene, Ryan’s character, Oliver Barrett IV, and Ali’s character, Jennifer Cavilleri, have a love spat and Jennifer takes off.  After combing the city all night looking for Jennifer, Ryan finds her sitting on the doorstep of their apartment.  Oliver apologizes.  Jennifer with tears streaming down her cheeks looks up at him and says, Love means never having to say you’re sorry. That’s right!  And when it comes to thank-yous, the same is true for speakers.  You have just given a brilliant speech.  The audience loves you.  The audience wants more.  And you end it with thank you.   Thank you?  Why are you saying thank you?  It’s the audience that should be thanking you!  End your speech with a powerful statement that moves your audience into action.  Develop an ending your audience will remember.  Create an ending that compels your audience to say thank you to you.  Or better yet, an ending that already says, You’re welcome.

          These are just a few of the secrets that professional speakers use to deliver powerful presentations.  By using these simple techniques, you too can command your audience’s attention, keep their interest, and move them into action.  You’re now ready to speak.

          Arvee Robinson, is a Persuasive Speaking Coach, Master Speaker Trainer, International Speaker, and Author. She teaches business owners, service professionals, and entrepreneurs how to use public speaking as a marketing strategy so they can attract more clients, generate unlimited leads and grow their businesses, effortlessly.

          Using Your Body Language to Persuade

          Ever listen to someone speaking and realize that something about that person just did not ring true? Something about the way he carried himself conflicted with his words. Maybe, it was his inability to look you in the eye. Perhaps, his hands distracted you. Or maybe it was the facial expressions that just did not quite match what he was saying? No, now you realize it was his stance; focused, truthful people just don’t carry  themselves that way. As you will see, the body tells its own story. Often you can

          • read someone and
          • reassure yourself whether that person is trustworthy or someone you are right to run away from right now.

          Let’s look more closely at body language.

          1. The Eyes Don’t Lie

          Have you ever conversed with someone who would not look at you directly? The person looked over your shoulder, above your head, at the floor, or even at someone else everywhere but at you. What did you think? The person probably made you uneasy. Most likely, you doubted that person’s interest, honesty, and confidence. Or perhaps you felt ignored. Eye contact plays a major role in how people perceive one another, and, as a speaker, you should pay special attention to it. If you make eye contact with your listeners, they’ll think you are sincere, credible, friendly, and honest. These feelings have a great impact on how listeners receive your message.

            • Eye contact has other benefits:
              • It allows you to establish a bond with listeners.
              • It holds their attention.
              • It demonstrates you are speaking honestly.
              • It conveys self-confidence.
              • It shows you are listening.
              • It acknowledges people.
            • When speaking in front of a group of people:
              • Look at your audience before you launch your speech.
              • Scan from one side to the other before you speak.
              • Contact and connect with one person at a time.
              • Hold your eye contact for 3 to 4 seconds for each person.
              • Use the 4 contact, connect, communicate, and continue.
            • Eye contact to avoid includes:
              • Staring too long at one person
              • Looking above people’s heads
              • Looking up at the ceiling, or out the window

            2. Hand Gestures Show Conviction and Enthusiasm

            Hand gestures are the most expressive part of body language. To be most effective, make your hand gestures above your elbow and away from your body. They should be vigorous and definite to show conviction and enthusiasm. A sweeping wave of your arm to show distance will add more to your message than a half-hearted hand wave. Hand gestures also should be full and varied rather than partial and repetitious; making the same movement over and over is distracting. Make your hand gestures larger for large audiences to ensure that even people in the back of the room can see them.

            • Some basic hand gestures show:
              • Size, weight, shape, direction, and location
              • Importance or urgency
              • Comparison and contrast
            • Hand gestures to avoid include:
              • The parent’s pointing figure
              • The fist anger and stress
              • The karate chop looks violent
            • Sample hand placements include:
              • Hands cupped, one holding the other at the waist
              • Hand at side ready to make a gesture
            • Hand placements to avoid include:
              • Touching the face
              • Hands in the pocket
              • Fig leaf position
              • Prayer position
              • Arms crossed at the chest
              • Same placement for too long

            3. Make Sure Your Facial Expression Supports Your Words

            Your face unwittingly conveys cues about how your listeners are supposed to react or feel. If you are talking about a terrible automobile accident, yet you are smiling and nodding, your audience will be confused, not sad. Your facial expression must be consistent with the feelings or information you are communicating.

            4. Assume the Rooted Position to Convey Confidence

            • The stance you assume while standing still is important because it indicates your confidence and comfort level. If you slouch your shoulders and fix your eyes on the floor, your audience will think you are shy and weak. If you repeatedly shift your weight from one foot to another, you appear uncomfortable and nervous, and your movement may distract your audience. But when you stand straight, with your feet shoulder-length apart and your weight evenly distributed on each foot, and look directly at your listeners, you convey confidence and poise.
            • This is called the rooted position. Imagine your feet have roots buried deeply in the ground. It will be impossible for you to sway or get off balance. This is the position of power and strength.

            Arvee Robinson, is a Persuasive Speaking Coach, Master Speaker Trainer, International Speaker, and Author. She teaches business owners, service professionals, and entrepreneurs how to use public speaking as a marketing strategy so they can attract more clients, generate unlimited leads and grow their businesses, effortlessly.

            The 6 Steps to Mastery

            Mastery

            One of my favorite mentors during the beginning of my personal development career was a guy by the name of Matthew Ferry. I’ve learned many amazing concepts about the law of attraction, the universe, synergizing, and several others. However, one of the most concepts I’ve ever heard was the six steps to mastery.

            1. Formulation

            • Create a clear vision for your goals
            • Make a decision as to what you want
            • Create a step by step plan
            • Look into who needs be involved with you
            • Make an announcement about your intention to anybody and everybody (the universe)

            2. Concentration

            (Since habits take time to create… this stage will take you close to 90 days before you can move on the next)
            • Start taking action (get to work)
            • Work with your plan (modifications or small changes)
            • Get the ball rolling
            • Consistency is what will be the decisive factor to take you to the next phase [critical]
            • You’ll be doing a lot of work and see little to NO RESULTS
            • This phase is compared to you being a hamster on a wheel

            3. Momentum

            (This stage can take you anywhere from 2-6 years before moving on to the next)
            • This is the phase where you’ve learned a few tricks allowing you learn effectiveness
            • You finally start to see some results
            • The following phase begin to inspire you, Stabilization

            Momentum KILLERS:

            • No system or lack of structure
            • Ego (Dam I’m good! Check me out now!)
            • Momentum killers can take you back a phase as they slow down your growth

            4. Stabilization

            (You can end up spending many years in this stage… or the next stage will just happen “all of a sudden)
            • Repetitious Boredom you find yourself not caring as much as you use to when you prospect for new business
            • You finally have systems in place that allow you to become automated
            • You have a strong structure with statistics and predictable numbers
            • Consistency*
            • Organization and constant planning
            • Empowering other to manage your systems (delegation)
            • Big results happen in this phase

            *Don’t change things that are working
            *Don’t experiment unless there is a reliable system in place.
            *Instead, ADD NEW THINGS

            5. Breakthrough

            (After a breakthrough, you will go back into stabilization mode…. this will happen over and over again for many years)
            • Sudden or unpredictable bursts of results
            • Everything begins to speed up
            • You must stay calm and simply deal with the power and velocity
            • Your communication skills becomes one of your most vital tools (staff, customers, affiliates)
            • Be certain everything around you is supported and organized
            • Your breakdowns will become opportunities for you to go through break throughs
            • After you have your breakthrough, you must go back into stabilization

            6. Mastery

            (Nearly impossible. only a handful or small percentage of people reach this phase… you can refer to the 10,000 hours rule as an reference to how often someone really achieves this level)
            • Excellence is achieved
            • Do nothing and have everything occur
            • Everything delegated
            • The business has a life of its own
            • Everything is done by people who are better than you

            Set Backs

            (setbacks are inevitable. Here are the causes and consequences)

            1. Breakdowns

            (Having breakdowns is the only way to have a break through. Success usually happens right before everything seems as if it’s maxed out. However, If you don’t have a breakthrough, you don’t experience the spontaneously amazing results and go back to working in the stabilization phase.)
            • You aren’t doing the things that got you into the momentum
            • You stop following your routines, schedules, and processes
            • You become distracted by things that may seem like they are important
            • You stop following your plans and begin to break promises

            2. Disasters

            (Disasters will take you back by two phases as they ultimately sabotage your systems.)
            • Managing emergencies instead of processes
            • Stopped doing the plan a while back
            • Stopped following a schedule, routine, or rituals
            • Started lying or hiding the truth about daily activities
            • Lack of communication

            Achieving the phase of Mastery would be every entrepreneur’s dream. Are you will to do whatever it takes? Which phase would you consider your in right now, and why?

            The Three-Step Close That Attracts Clients Like Crazy

            Nine out of ten business presentations end with either an unimpressive “Thank you” or a feeble “Are there any questions?” Both are ineffective when it comes to persuading your audience to buy your products and services.

            After many years of making business presentations, I discovered the most effective close consists of three parts: a question and answer session, an invitation (call to action), and the closing statement, respectively. Here’s how they work:

            1. Question and answer session

            Most business presentations have a question and answer (Q & A) period at the end of the talk. Unless your presentation is interactive, this is the time your audience may ask questions. The Q & A section of your presentation should mark the beginning of your close, not the end.

            How many times have you seen a speaker ask “Are there any questions?” only to look out into an audience of blank stares and what feels like an eternity of silence.

            For this section to be successful, you must have audience participation.

            To prevent an ocean of blank stares, use one of the following techniques to get your Q & A session rolling. First, have a friend in the audience prepared to ask a question the minute you open the floor to questions. It’s a good idea to know the question ahead of time so you’re ready with an answer; however, it’s not absolutely necessary. Another approach that works great is for you to lead with a question you’re typically asked. Start by saying, A question I’m typically asked is . . .

            Both methods will give your audience time to formulate their questions and prevent an awkward silence. Afterward, thank your audience for their questions before moving to your invitation (call to action).

            2. Invitation (Call to action)

            Even though most of us have often been advised to create a call to action at the end of our sales presentation, many professionals leave out this step when making a presentation to a group. Every presentation we make whether to an individual or a group of people is a sales presentation.

            Therefore, we must have a call to action to get the desired results. It’s during this step that you’l tell your audience exactly what you want them to do. Be clear and concise. Also, during this step you’ll want to collect their business cards. The primary purpose for giving a business presentation is to generate new business and so, to be able to contact audience prospects later, you’ll need to know who is present. The best way to find out is to gather everyone’s business card. At first glance, this might not seem like an easy task. But it is.

            This is when you give something to get something. Everyone loves free stuff. One approach to collecting attendees business cards is to give away a free book. Select a book that’s appropriate for your presentation. Ask your audience to take out a business card and pass it to the front of the room. Tell your audience you would like to put them on your mailing list for future free articles. If they don’t want to be on your mailing list, ask them to fold their card in half so you’ll know not to add them. Then have someone in the audience draw a winner. This is a simple and fun way to give something to your audience and get their business cards. Better yet, you now have their permission to follow up.

            Another technique to gather business cards is to give everyone an article you have written on your subject. Tell them to bring you a business card after the meeting and you will give them a copy of your free article. Other ideas include inviting them to a free seminar, workshop, teleclass, or consulting session. Some speakers pass out forms for their audience to fill out in order to receive something in exchange. Although this might work for some, it may be too much work for others. Whatever your call to action is, keep it fast and easy.

            3. Closing Statement.

            This is your final word. Decide what thought or feeling you want to leave with your audience and make sure your closing sentence resonates that thought. The most powerful closing sentences are statements of declaration or famous quotes. For example, if you were an executive recruiter talking about the hiring process, your closing statement might be, That is how you hire the right people and keep them! Or you might use a quote such as, Too many people use recruiters the same way a drunk uses a lamp post to lean on, rather than to shed light. Whichever you choose, make sure that it’s appropriate for your presentation and your audience.

            Write it out and memorize it so you won’t forget it. This is your last chance to persuade your audience and make a lasting impression. Don’t throw it away by ending with a polite thank you. Instead, make your ending as strong as your beginning. Finish your presentation with power and confidence. Make it positive, exciting, and memorable. Always end with a bang!

            As you move from step to step in the closing process, be sure to make smooth transitions. Let your audience know you’re moving to the next step. For instance, at the end of your Q & A session you could simply say, If there are no more questions I would like to invite you to . . .You have smoothly transitioned your audience into the call-to-action portion of your close. This will help your audience follow your presentation and keep their attention. The longer you keep their attention, the better the odds for selling your products and services.

            By following this simple three-step strategy, you’ll be able to create a powerful close with an active Q & A session, a motivating call to action, and a captivating closing statement that will generate new business, instantly.

            Arvee Robinson, is a Persuasive Speaking Coach, Master Speaker Trainer, International Speaker, and Author. She teaches business owners, service professionals, and entrepreneurs how to use public speaking as a marketing strategy so they can attract more clients, generate unlimited leads and grow their businesses, effortlessly.

            3 Explosive Ways to Grab Your Audience’s Attention and Keep it!

            Speakers can open their presentation using one of a host of methods. So why do most non-professional speakers begin their speech with those attention-grabbing words, Ah, I am so-in-so, ah . . . um? Beginning your speech with filler words such as ah or um immediately tells your audience that you are an untrained speaker. In a flash, you’ve lost credibility as a speaker, or even worse, as an expert in your field, and your audience has taken a mental exit. You might as well be talking to an empty room.

            Why do speakers self-sabotage their speeches by beginning this way? It’s simple. It’s because they haven’t clearly defined or prepared their opening. Consequently, nervously, they search for what to say next and fill in this awkward gap with a filler word, ah or um. Your goal as a presenter is to grab your audience’s attention and keep it. Although there are numerous ways to open a presentation, I have found three methods to be the most effective, especially when making business presentations.

            1. Enrolling questions

            One of my favorite ways to open a presentation is with enrolling questions. Asking a question of your audience immediately gets them involved. Ask questions that are pertinent to your audience. Use close-ended questions, those questions that can be answered with a simple yes or no signified by a raised hand. The beauty of asking enrolling questions is that they engage your audience in both a physical and a mental activity. Stimulating these two activities often creates a higher likelihood that you will keep your audience’s attention throughout your presentation.

            Prepare your questions ahead of time and practice raising your hand to eliminate any potential awkwardness in front of your audience. Below is an example of enrolling questions an executive recruiter asked a group of business owners:

            • How many people here want to hire the right people?
            • How many people here want to hire the right people and keep them?

            The rule of thumb when asking enrolling questions is that you must enroll 100% of your audience. Rule 2: Always ask two questions. Why? Because one question alone is not as effective as asking two. So how do you ask these two questions? There are two different ways. If you know for a fact that your audience will be enrolled with the first question, the second question can be a building question.

            For example: How many people here need to talk in order to sell your products and services? How many people here would like to talk less and sell more?

            If you’re not sure your first question will engage the majority of your audience, with the second question you ask the opposite or the complement of the first. For instance: How many of you like chocolate? How many of you don’t? Or How many of you have children?How many of you don’t?

            By asking two questions you have a better chance of engaging 100% of your audience and keeping them engaged.

            2. Statement of declaration

            A statement of declaration is a powerful way to begin any speech. A statement of declaration is simply an announcement with meaning. This statement can be a starting point from anywhere in your speech as long as it relates to your topic. What I love about this method is that this type of statement usually jerks anyone who may have mentally left the room back into their seats.

            Once I heard a speaker begin his speech with I’m late, I’m late, I’m late! He said it with such emotion that the audience could actually feel his frustration with being late and waited to hear more. Another memorable statement of declaration used by a young college student was, I’m tired of being a grunt! The entire audience fell silent because most of us could relate to that statement in some form or another. It grabbed our attention, big time.

            The rule of thumb when making statements of declaration is to say them with strong conviction. Say it like you mean it.

            3. Staggering statistical statement.

            A staggering statistical statement is one that includes statistical information. This information is usually measured by a percentage, a number, or a dollar value. For instance: 80% of communication is nonverbal! Fifty thousand Americans suffer from diabetes! Or Our country has an all-time high deficit of sixty billion dollars! When using a statistical statement as your attention grabber, do your homework. The information has to be 100% TRUE. If not, you will lose your credibility and your audience.

            It doesn’t matter which of these explosive attention grabbers you use to begin your presentation, as long as you use one. Experiment with using the three different types to see which one works best for you and your speech. Remember, your opening question or statement must be relative to your topic and appropriate for your audience. Memorize it, practice it, and own it. If you grab your audience’s attention in the beginning, chances are you’ll keep it until the end.

            Arvee Robinson, is a Persuasive Speaking Coach, Master Speaker Trainer, International Speaker, and Author. She teaches business owners, service professionals, and entrepreneurs how to use public speaking as a marketing strategy so they can attract more clients, generate unlimited leads and grow their businesses, effortlessly.

            The Fear of Rejection Explained

            In theory, communication is simple. You send a message and the recipient receives it and acts accordingly to the content of the message in practice, communication is a far cry from its theory. Each and every day you can’t help witnessing people who are either unable to express themselves in a clear way or deliberately avoid doing so, out of whatever reason. Communication, by its very meaning, has always had to do with passing a message to another entity but obscure communication takes the essence out of it: The information shared. Instead of making oneself understood amongst others, misunderstandings inevitably are aroused the root of most conflicts.

            There is one major reason that dominates all others why people opt to deliberately blur information clarity:

            Fear.

            Probably the most common type of fear associated with unclear communication is the fear of rejection. The probability that your counterpart will disagree with or get hurt by the information you are about to transmit is often enough sufficient to drive people to withhold information.

            The percentage of information transmitted is directly related to the level of self-acceptance and self-love. The more the person is in touch with itself, the less the damage an undesired answer can deal. A person with a high level of self-worth is hard to hurt  in any case, this person will have realized that any level of interpersonal incongruence has no impact on his or her worth and the level of validity of his or her perspective. A person with little self-worth that is out of touch with itself however is easy to hurt. Even small levels of incongruence in interpersonal communication will directly translate to a diminished experience of self-worth and a devastated validity of the person’s perspective.

            Translated to real life experiences, the brink of a conflict sparked by incongruence in communication will be experienced much different. There are four major characteristics, when it comes to dealing with incongruence.

            The Aware

            A person that is very much in touch with itself will most probably reply: Okay. We’re out of congruence in this point. I have reasons to believe that my perspective holds true as much as you will have. Could you therefore help me understand why your perspective is correct? The dominating mind-set here is acceptance of the own perspective and understanding for the other’s perspective awareness that all perspectives are equivalent. This mind-set is growth-oriented and enables the person to experience new insights. The possibility that he or she might be wrong is none of a threat cooperation and learning better is the goal of communication.

            The Egomaniac

            A person, whose ego is really blown-up, will most probably reply: I don’t see why your point makes any sense. My perspective has to be closer to truth than yours, because so and so. Forcing the opponent into congruence is the dominating mind-set for the ego-driven person. In reality, this person also experiences fear  fear of not being right. In order to avoid being wrong, the person is very keen on its own perspective and would never allow the opponent’s perspective to hold true (which would mean defeat). This way, the person keeps itself from learning about new insights and while he or she may be able to convince his or her opponent by force, the discussion is ended with a mind-set of conflict and concurrence instead of a mind-set of cooperation. Ego-driven people often become hugely successful in life, from a perspective of monetary or other mundane riches, but often lack true friends and a loving relationship and hence are far from being happy or satisfied with what they have achieved.

            The Preacher

            A person with a lack of self-worth but a pile of knowledge will most probably reply: But see, my perspective has a point because so and so. Please understand.” The underlying phrase this person communicates is to beg for acceptance and praise. While generally open for other perspectives, this person experiences just too much fear to be able to give in – in the belief that they would lose themselves by doing so. Occasionally, such a person can be confused for an arrogant one because of the persistence of their arguments, even if proved wrong. The opponent to this person is like a life-threatening danger. This type of person is normally very well-educated and intelligent but has a hard time being respected and finding real friends. The pseudo-arrogant outside blocks the revelation of a lovable inside.

            The Follower

            A person with a lack of self-worth and mediocre knowledge will most probably reply: I see that I am wrong here. Sorry for being wrong. Thanks for clarification. He or she will never defend his or her perspective and willingly give in to whatever criticism comes along. Due to the lack of self-worth, this person will have no faith in the correctness of its own opinion the circumstance that others always know better is the dominating mind-set. Even if right, these people will have no faith in what they do or believe unless they are encouraged by others thereby making them dependent on their consent. This person is the archetype of the follower a person without own opinion that accepts whatever opinion the currently chosen leader has. For this kind of person it is normal to regularly change the leader in search for protection from the former leader as these individuals are easily abused when straying from their former leader’s opinion.

            It only is the Aware that has the ability to communicate information just as it is: Acceptance of the own perspective and openness for the other persons. All the others have problems either to accept the other’s opinion, the own opinion or both and therefore are driven to conflict-laden communication and therefore problematic relationships.

            Many people share the problems of the Egomaniac, the Preacher and the Follower in an age that is infested with so much information that conflict is almost pre-programmed, regardless of what we do or say. The probability that our own behavior is against someone else’s norm is steadily approaching one with a rising number of people around so conflict is practically inevitable it is a key ability to be able to deal with the fear of clear communication.

            In order to become a human being that is able to safely navigate through these rough times, it is important to achieve a level of self-worth and self-acceptance that enables you to accept your opinion, even when faced with harsh opposition. Interestingly, your opposition can easily transform to an alliance from the moment you at least try to understand their perspective. Furthermore, people usually start to accept your perspective from the moment you wholeheartedly mean it people pick up on the slightest trace of self-doubt, so make sure that there is no more of it.

            For all those who haven’t yet achieved this goal, the way towards it is the key. There are numerous ways to increase your level of self-acceptance. One of the easiest options to implement in daily life is choosing situations where you show self-acceptance in spite of the fact that they require a little bit more than you normally have. Thereby, you move out of your comfort zone into the so-called “learning zone“, where you experience discomfort without panicking. This way, you can gradually grow to become more self-confident situations that you have once mastered will be easy to handle in future.

            A lot of small steps form a long way. If you are persistent, you will achieve what you want. If you are already there: Congratulations. You are amongst the souls that this planet is in high need of Be yourself and trust yourself.

            About the Author: Simon Voggeneder studies the fields of mental power, healthy nutrition and natural training. Read his blog and improve your life now: ishina.info. Learn about training, nutrition, media, spirituality and self growth.

            Use Conversational Hypnosis To Be More Persuasive

            Would you like to have the ability to conversationally get people to access resourceful, happy and motivated emotional states? How about having the ability to blow out limiting and unhelpful beliefs through a quick conversation over coffee? If it were possible how would you feel about being able to attach good feelings to you, your products or services whilst simultaneously attaching bad feelings to your competitors?

            All of these things are possible with some basic conversational hypnosis techniques.

            What is conversational hypnosis?

            Before we can start developing the skills it might make sense to define what we mean by a hypnotic trance, how they occur and what we can do with them.

            Since I use hypnosis as a persuasion tool I am going to suggest we use a flexible idea of what a trance is. Just for this article let us say that hypnosis is about altering a person’s state of consciousness. Let’s just look at a simple example. For a few moments think about a pleasant memory from your childhood.

            Are you back yet? Good, you have just been in a mild hypnotic trance. You went from your reading trance into a pleasant memory trance and now back to a reading or even a thoughtful trance. And guess what, I induced that in you by asking you to do the exercise.

            There is another important point in the exercise. I have no control, I can’t force you to do it and in fact you may not have done the exercise at all. As a conversational hypnotist, I don’t have the ability to make you do my trance I can only suggest and hope you come along.

            The other point worth making is that obviously there are more subtle ways of inducing different trance states than just simply asking someone to do it. But often the simplest approach is the most powerful.

            If trance is just about getting people to imagine things, how is that useful?

            Here are a few ways that conversational hypnotists use their skills. As you are sat at your computer reading this list just think through how many of these might be useful for you:

            • Getting your dream date to imagine feeling real good waking up next to you tomorrow morning.
            • Getting a prospect to imagine how good they will feel after gaining the benefits of your product or service.
            • Taking someone that is feeling unmotivated or un-resourceful and getting them to remember what it feels like to rise over a challenge and succeed.
            • Taking someone who is being argumentative and closed minded and getting them to feel the benefits of thinking in a more flexible way.
            • Letting your team see the benefits they will get when they implement the changes you are asking them to make

            I could go on but I suspect you have got the idea and you can imagine many different scenarios in your own life where you can already see the benefits of imagining things differently. If this is true then you already realize the benefits of learning how to use some of these powerful conversational hypnosis techniques.

            So how can I take people into a hypnotic trance conversationally?

            There are lots of complex techniques like anticipation frames that install states such as curiosity and embedded commands so you just have to find out about particular ideas, concepts and tools. But for the purpose of this article let’s just concentrate on a simple but powerful idea.

            If I were to ask you a question that you fully considered then you will have changed the direction of your thoughts from where they were going to where I was directing you. How would you feel if you could use that one simple idea as a gateway to not only taking people into a trance but also in the direction you want them to go?

            If this is useful to you here is the structure of that question:

            What would it be like if you (x)

            Where (x) is the thing you want them to do, feeling you want them to experience or idea you want them to access.

            Here is an example:

            What would it be like if you were easily talking people into a persuasive trance using this questioning technique?

            I guess you might be thinking this takes some practice. You may be surprised to notice that it becomes very natural very quickly. What would it be like when you suddenly realize you are doing this naturally? Can you imagine yourself using this simple but powerful technique to be more persuasive? If you can then a quick way to practice might be to read this article again and just notice how many different ways I have used the same technique with you.

            Rintu Basu is the owner of The NLP Company and author of the best selling Persuasion Skills Black Book. Based in Glasgow, Scotland he works as a Hypnotic Persuasion Skills Consultant helping individuals and organizations to reach their goals though being more persuasive.

            What Gets Buyers to Say “Yes, I’ll Buy?”

            When we agree to an idea or proposal, it’s because there’s something in it for us. It’s hard to influence people who can’t see what’s in it for them. Sounds one-sided, but it is true. Call it self-interest, selfishness or whatever. It is only human nature to ask, “What am I getting from this?”

            People will say yes to your ideas if they meet their needs or match their view of life in the following areas:

            • Principles and values
            • Beliefs and opinions
            • Needs and wants

            So Give People What They Want & Need

            People agree to ideas and suggestions that match their needs or views of life. Underpinning all our lives are certain principles and values that we hold to be true. These become guidance for how we conduct our lives. They influence and mould our behavior. They can differ greatly from person to person and successful influencers always take principles and values into account.

            But how?

            Notice what principles and values drive other people

            Ask questions and invite comment and reaction

            Check with those who know them well

            Some examples of principles:

            • Integrity and fairness are an integral part of business dealings.’
            • I think that older people deserve courtesy and consideration.’
            • Moral behavior is part of the fabric of daily life.

            It would be unproductive to spend time attempting to dislodge these deep-seated principles. Instead, harness them to add leverage to your suggestions

            Beliefs & Opinions

            Beliefs and opinions can be transient or short-term. Remember when you used to believe in Father Christmas, the Tooth Fairy, giants, and witches? Proof can easily dislodge a belief. So too can time.

            An early step on the road to influencing others may include having to change lingering beliefs or convictions before you can proceed further.

            • I think that BubbleClean washing machines break down more often than the Tumbling system range.’
            • I think that all politicians are corrupt.’
            • I never make decisions on the 13th.’

            Each of these beliefs can be dealt with by logical questioning or providing proof or data.

            Needs & Necessities

            These are fundamental requirements they have to be met if you are to influence others. Typical needs include: reliability, security, achieving a deadline, meeting a budget, keeping up to date.

            • Because of increasing competition, it is essential that we maintain an image and at the same time keep up to date.’
            • My team members are under great pressure, so it important to maintain their morale.’
            • The system must not only be reliable but secure, as well.’

            Having uncovered needs, you may have to mould or reshape your ideas to dovetail with the requirements of others. Often, people have a hierarchy of needs, so it may be important to discover and use this:

            Which is most important to you reliability or security?

            Wants & Wishes

            Wants and wishes are not essentials, just a wish list: Wouldn’t it be lovely … if only’. But their fulfillment can be the cherry on your influencing trifle, placed on top with a flourish, after the other person has agreed to your proposal.

            Depends What’s on Offer

            Question: How will your suggestions benefit the other person?

            The person or people you are influencing will interpret the benefits of your suggestions in different ways. Some will be interested in the features the fine details, the nitty gritty of ideas. Others will say how will I benefit?’ Others will seek out the advantages of proposals how the benefits are different.

            Features, Benefits & Advantages

            No doubt you are familiar with the differences between features, benefits and advantages, but it is worth re-iterating.

            Features

            These are built-in aspects of your idea or suggestion timing, costs, resources etc. They will remain locked up in your idea whether the other person agrees or not.

            Benefits

            These are far more important than the features of your proposal. They translate boring old features into exciting statements which show clearly how others will gain.

            This new hardware is made in Germany (feature) which means that we will save time and money on spare parts (benefit).’

            Advantages

            These are comparative benefits e.g.  Increased revenue, greater savings, and faster turn-around.

            In Summary: The Benefit Balance Sheet

            Most people do not agree whole-heartedly to an idea. There is usually something that niggles, however well you’ve addressed their concerns.

            In the end, when we finally say yes to a proposal, it is because the benefits outweigh any disadvantages.

            As you plan and prepare your influencing case, list all the benefits and advantages of your suggestions. Use them to tip the balance in favor of yes.

            About the Author: Jonathan Farrington is Chairman of The Sales Corporation, CEO of Top Sales Associates, and Senior Partner at The JF Consultancy, based in London and Paris. He is also the Chairman of the Executive Board over at Top Sales Experts. His popular daily blog is read by thousand of dedicated business professionals