Do You Have a Friend Who is a Loser? Get Rid of Em!

Loser

It is easy for me to say that a lot of people surround themselves with losers. If you want to become successful, rich, or happy, you should do whatever it takes to grow, right?

As human beings, we must grow, because like a business, if we don’t grow, we die.  I don’t mean literally die, but I mean mentally and socially.

How Can You Classify One as Being a Loser?

  • No job (not looking hard enough)
  • No money (lack of motivation to make it)
  • Lazy
  • Party all the time (unless it’s related to your job)
  • Too much drugs
  • Too much focus on girls (for guys, mainly 18-25)
  • Willingness to NOT step out of your comfort zone

I agree that the term “loser” sounds bad, but it is the best way for me to get your attention. If you are surrounding yourself with people who fit the criteria listed above, you will be brought down to their level. I believe I read this in a book, please do correct me if I’m wrong, but if you take the income of 10 of your closest friends, or people you hang around the most, take the average, your income will equal close to that amount. If you hang around people who make no money, then chances are, you are making little to no money.

LAY DOWN WITH DOGS, AND YOU WILL COME UP WITH FLEAS

Surround Yourself With Successful People

What should you do? My good friend Neil Patel has told me that this year, he wants to befriend 5 billionaires. WOW, what a goal! I personally know of maybe 1 or 2 millionaires and that’s probably on no more than a first name basis. It’s hard for me to even fathom befriending 1 billionaire.

The idea is so simple though so pay close attention: Imagine being able to spend one hour with a successful business tycoon like Donald Trump. Do you think you’ll learn something that will help you make money? Of course!

Setup a goal to meet someone who makes 10x the income you do. Don’t get smart with me and say 10 x zero is =zero :). If your goal is not about money, then find someone who does what you want to do at a measurable 10x higher level.

Where Do You Find These People?

This is the question I usually get right after I tell someone to find new friends. The answer is: network like crazy! Out of everyone you know, I will bet that they know someone who is successful or they might know someone who knows someone that is at the level you are looking for.

Read my blog on building rapport and learn to  sell yourself. There is always a way to find successful people, you just have to make the effort.

Go to a seminar in an industry you have interest in and you will come across many like-minded individuals. If you decide not to go through with making an effort, then you should transform your mindset and change. 

Nothing is Wrong With Not Wanting to be Rich

Let me clarify, not being a loser, doesn’t mean you have to be someone who is interested in making a tons of money. What I mean is that you should surround yourself with people who are interested in growing mentally,physically, financially, or even spiritually.

The more people you have around you that put genuine interest in growing, the easier it will be for you to transform your mind to win.

Do You Have Losers in Your Life?

Chances are that after you read this, you will begin to nod your head and say, “Yes AJ I totally agree with you.”

Losers mess up your entire mindset and hold you back from success.

And then the rest of you will be very confrontational and write a nasty comment about my outlandish blog post below.

Look, many of you have these losers in your life that you still care for and maybe even people you’ve been friends with for 10+ years. However, the bottom line is, if they are unwilling to change their poor habits, are you willing to sacrifice your own success?

How to Get Rid of Losers

At this point, I assume that you have tried to help these losers out, but they still wouldn’t budge. Now it’s time to get rid of em’:

  • Get out a sheet of paper and write on one side “Up-lifters” and the other side “Losers”
  • Take everyone from the “Losers” side and clear their contact info from your phone, email, computer, phone book etc.
  • If they call you to hang out or whatever, no need to be rude, just say you are busy working or something. Again, don’t be rude, let them know that you are busy working on growing your life.
  • If you are interested in doing it in an extreme way like how I did it when I was 17, change your phone number and only give your new number to the “Up-lifters”.

So now my question to you is, are you going to do it? Are you going to get rid of the losers in your life?

194 thoughts on “Do You Have a Friend Who is a Loser? Get Rid of Em!

  1. Michele Babcock-Nice

    I have enjoyed reading your articles, and have obtained quality information from them. Your current article about Losers is informative, however, you have presented some ideas with which I disagree. I ask that you keep an open mind while reading my commentary since I simply have a different perspective.
    Firstly, your definition of a “loser” and what causes someone to be a “loser” may not be the same as what others think. You bullet 7 identifiers for classifying someone as being a loser, however, I must contend with at least 3 of them. Please read as follows:
    1) One can be unemployed and/or not have a job for several reasons, including looking and trying extremely hard, and still not being hired. For example, I have sought employment for the past 13 months in 160 positions. I remain unemployed, and not for lack of effort. For additional information on my background and experience, please reference my profile on oDesk.
    2) In regard to having no money, one can save and invest for years and have much motivation to make money, however, all it takes is for the Stock Market to decline or to pay lawyers to represent one in a divorce, and the money is gone. I have lots of motivation to make money, however, due to other reasons, I no longer have it. Good-bye greenbacks.
    3) A willingness to step out of one’s comfort zone can be a good thing; please provide additional information and clarification on that. Healthy risk-taking is good for positive personal development. One should do what they are comfortable with.
    You also speak about surrounding yourself with successful people. Is your definition of “successful” being someone who makes millions of dollars? If so, there are several ways one can perceive this. I have known several multi-millionaires as well as people, such as myself, who presently live at or below poverty level. Because someone rakes in the dough hand over fist does not necessarily mean they are successful in my book. In fact, more often in my experience, it means that they have more potential of being cut-throat than the average God-fearing person, and they may not have sensitivity toward others regarding the means they go about making their bucks.
    Don’t get me wrong – I would love to be wealthy, but please do not mistake wealth with “success” or not having money as being a “loser.” There are so many wonderful, good-hearted people out there who have little to nothing. Being successful and how one defines it all depends on one’s perspective.
    I must question the priorities of individuals who focus solely on making money or who have a goal of befriending 5 billionaires in one year. Certainly, everyone is unique and different, and people have the freedom to pursue what they choose. However, simply because a person does not seem to meet your criteria of not being successful and of being a loser does not mean that she or he is, in fact, a “loser.” She or he may be a “winner” whom very few people recognize since they are too focused on making money, perhaps having the wrong priorities.
    Money, from my own knowledge and experience, does not necessarily provide happiness. What truly provides happiness is genuine self-love, development, and understanding, spending time and being with family and friends whom one loves, and doing the best that one can in life to live as Jesus would want, while also being a role-model for others.
    I respect those with wealth and understand that it likely took much hard-work and endless effort to achieve what they have. I would like to think that there are many rich folks out there who are truly sensitive and caring individuals, who do not care about simply doing things just to make themselves look good; I just have not met them yet. Perhaps you could point me in the right direction, and remember, all that glitters is not gold.
    Thank you for considering my differing perspective. I hope that you achieve all the success that you desire in this potentially prosperous new year, and I hope that you think twice before discounting someone as a potential “loser” who may not be one. Remember, she or he may be a “winner” in disguise, but you were unable to see it since your focus was on something else that you believed to be more important. It’s all just a matter of priorities and perspective. Please support your opinions with more research, facts, and identification of reference materials. Have a successful day!

    Reply
    1. AJ Kumar Post author

      Hi Michelle,

      I agree on everything you said. If you take a closer look at the post, I did clarify this in parenthesis

      1) One can be unemployed and/or not have a job for several reasons, including looking and trying extremely hard, and still not being hired…

      I wrote down “No job (not looking hard enough)” It’s understandable that one can have no job even though they are vigorously looking for one. However, it is unacceptable to have NO JOB and having little to desire to look for one.

      2) In regard to having no money, one can save and invest for years and have much motivation to make money, however, all it takes is for the Stock Market to decline…

      I wrote down “No money (lack of motivation to make it)” Many people are in the dumps right now. I would never feel bad for someone because if they wanted to make money well then they can. Obviously some exceptions of medical conditions can apply, but I’m not talking about those people. If a person has no money and they aren’t doing about it, then yes they are losers.

      3) A willingness to step out of one’s comfort zone can be a good thing…

      Your right, it was my mistake I didn’t put the word NOT, which I have updated the article with 🙂

      You also speak about surrounding yourself with successful people. Is your definition of “successful” being someone who makes millions of dollars

      I also clarified this: Let me clarify, not being a loser, doesn’t mean you have to be someone who is interested in making a tons of money.

      For example, Mother Teresa didn’t take a dime, yet she spent her time helping others, growing spiritually and mentally.
      I used the example of my friend Neil because making money is of my interest, which is why I said “wow” to it.

      I hope I covered everything you said!

      Reply
      1. Michele Babcock-Nice

        AJ,
        I appreciate your time in providing your reply and clarification. This shows you are very open-minded and can handle constructive criticism. That is an excellent quality since it is one that helps people grow and develop.
        Additionally, I totally agree about Mother Teresa – an awesome role model!
        Thanks for considering my perspective; I hope it was helpful. I enjoy your site.
        🙂 Michele

        Reply
        1. David Hardy

          Here’s my short take on a couple of points…

          What is a loser? A loser is a person who does not know where they are going…they do not have goals. Would you get in your car and start driving without a destination? Then why would you live your life that way?

          What is a successful person? The successful person knows where they are going. That is what having goals is all about. You have goals, take action every day to move in that direction, you are successful. Success is not the destination; it is taking action everyday toward your goals.

          One thing about Mother Teresa. She was one of the richest women in the world!! Say what?? Not rich like we in America think of it, but she was. When it came to money, all she had to do was ask and she had all she needed. She chose to use the money in her charity instead of on herself.

          And just like Mother Teresa, all we have to do is ask, and it shall be given. So ask, and set your goal and work steadily toward it and it will become a reality.

          Michele, reading your post reminded me of myself. And I realized the longer the list of reasons got, the more they started looking like excuses. That is my experience.

          Forget the past and all the reasons why your life is the way it is now. Look forward, decide what you want. Take a step, then take another one.

          Well, my post did not turn out to be so short, but it was heartfelt. Thank you.

          Reply
      2. Josh

        Maybe you put your expectations a little high for yourself maybe people look at you as a loser think about it we all have our different criteria of a loser

        Reply
    2. Amanda

      Well written response. Hope you find employment soon. However there is something to be said about the company you keep, negative people do tend to bring one down, positive people have a way of uplifting others around them.

      Reply
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  5. M!hai @ Freshome.com

    After reading this article and thought a little at who are the people who I spend most of my time I’ve came to the conclusion that they are people who make not 10 times less than me, but 20 times or more, most of them are students without jobs or small paying jobs. I’ve quit college and now I have a business that is working well, they are still in college, or in that first job after college that is paid awful.

    Reply
    1. AJ Kumar Post author

      That’s great that you have people in your life who make 20x your income. Consider hanging out with people who more enlightened than you in areas you wish to get more involved in. This is the proactive way to grow your business.

      Reply
        1. AJ Kumar Post author

          True, thanks for that. It’s obviously smart for to find people who are on the opposite side of her scale then. So most of the comment still applies 🙂

          Reply
      1. Ace

        LOL, AJ. That sounds a bit cruel, but true.

        I think one should at least make an attempt to help, – then DUMP if no changes are forth coming. After all, friends are there to help and be truthful to one another.

        Reply
        1. AJ Kumar Post author

          The people you should dump are the people who aren’t interested changing. Having reached the level to consider dumping them means that you’ve already tried and tried and tried…

          Reply
      1. Ace

        Hahahahahahahaha, you are such a strong advocate for DUMPing, AJ. I think she should try and help, – then DUMP if no changes are made.

        Reply
    1. Amanda

      Ask you’re self why you feel you are a loser. And if you determine that some of your behavior could qualify you as a “loser”, then try and change that behavior. Just realizing that you could improve yourself and your life by changing certain habits /behavior, you are already on your way to not being a “loser”. Self evaluation is healthy for everyone, and needs to be done periodically, and change is need to not just to succeed sometimes to merely survive.
      “Change is the only Constant in life”

      Reply
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  8. Murphy

    Ha I’m like 5 of those things.
    I don’t have a job, I party all the time, I sleep late, I have no income coming in and I focus on girls a lot.

    But I do push myself out of my comfort zone a lot. Why? I’m training to teach men how to pick up girls. I’m also an entrepeneur. I love how your article and most of society would label me a loser.

    Reply
    1. AJ Kumar Post author

      Murphy,
      The fact that you are training yourself to teach men how to pick up girls, shows that your interested in doing something with your life. Also, an important indicator is pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. I wouldn’t classify you as a loser, just someone who needs more discipline.

      So pickup artist huh, that’s interesting. A lot of pick up artist are able to take the stuff I teach and use it to pick up on girls.

      Reply
  9. Robert Fisher

    I agree that we shouldn’t surround ourselves with loses- but I wouldn’t use your definitions necessarily.

    For me, the real losers of this world are those people who are mostly negative, self-absorbed and seem to attract chronic problems that last a long time.

    These are the real losers and if you have friends like that you should definitely DUMP THEM

    Reply
  10. Chuck Stanley

    Interesting article and I agree. I think instead of using the word “loser” you should say people whom you don’t admire, are a drain on your energy or time, or whose values are very different, etc. You need to get out in the world and experience things different than yourself because that is often how you learn what it takes to get what you want or have life changing experiences. However you can’t surround yourself with poor people if you want to be rich. You can’t surround yourself with negativity if you want to win. In this way you avoid the categories and teach people how to get what THEY want by not spending so much time with people who want something else entirely.

    Reply
  11. tom

    I have struggled with this for years, surrounding myself with people that were an energy drain.

    I think blogging has given me a great opportunity to meet other motivational individuals and it keeps me very focused on my goals.

    Thanks AJ, look forward to becoming great friends.

    Reply
    1. Amanda

      Tom,
      Sometimes people surrond themselves with “losers” because it make them feel superior to the so-called “losers”. Makes them feel wanted and needed, and lets face it who does not like being needed. But in an effort to help out your “loser” friends you were in fact harming them, by enabling them, making them dependent on you. Now you feel drained, but people forget that they were doing this not just for the help out the “losers”but it also filled some need in them, whether you need to feel like a do-gooder or a martyr.

      Reply
  12. Article Spinning

    Very interesting… not just your post itself but the comments that follow. Educational, indeed. About Neil Patel’s goal of befriending 5 billionaires, that’s a tall one, but it’s very possible. And yes, networking like crazy will enable you meet with and befriend billionaires. Also, a very important fact is that we are only a few people closer to ANYone we want to meet – be him/her a millionaire or not. The more people we know, the closer we are to the next person, millionaire or billionaire. Thanks for sharing, AJ.

    Reply
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  15. Pavel

    No, I definitely do not think this is a good argument, my friend. It is like to say: who wants to be happy, should smile. Certainly, keep smiling might help. But it is not the point.

    Reply
  16. MOSES TURNBUCKLE

    AJ KUMAR- Its obvious you have chosen one of the biggest ?s that is still unanswered and will always be unanswered. What makes a loser? Money has very little to do with it. Hanging around rich people who make alot of money and have alot of socalled power because of this money does not make a person prosperous. You know what makes people feel powerful, rich and successfull?AND I SAID FEEEEL. Guess what! I-dont-know, and neither do you. The only thing I think makes success and growth happen, would be victory. Victory in whatever you do. Of course this is impossible because we are only human and so-are-you. We need someone to talk to and someone to sweep the floors……..incomplete I say incomplete. Once again incomplete. Ya know people like you, and I say you, because in this time frame there are people like you who deem it necessary to push others to the ground. Your bullies. And you know it. But we losers,we poor,the ones who do try, but for some reason never get beyond because of the cards being delt by the ones at the top of this heap of change, we always have it stacked to our disadvantages, and you seem to think that because your willing to spend some time with some success story your going to learn something new. Maybe you will, maybe you wont. Maybe the story is just like anything else successfull, meaning you gotta be perfect, almost perfect in your life from start to finish and if your not, you better have alot of money to wield power, which means you probably got a trust from your family. Which leads me to this ? Can you be a loser and have alot of money? THE ANSWER PLEASE> TAKE A GUESS > WRONG! YOUR INCORRECT. The correct answer is you can be a loser and still be rich, prosperous ,wealthy, powerfull.O, and succesfull. Examples of this come mainly from the middle eastern world. Examples:SADDAM,OSOMA, MOST OF THE SAUDI OIL WORLD, AKMADINAJADE…ect. So, your so smart, and coool ,and nonloooserish, and you follow every supposed success story probably? right? Isnt that right? LOSER!

    Reply
    1. AJ Kumar Post author

      This is an interesting comment.

      Let me clarify, not being a loser, doesn’t mean you have to be someone who is interested in making a tons of money. What I mean is that you should surround yourself with people who are interested in growing.

      1. I never said if you don’t have money you’re a loser. I said if you do things I listed above, then yes you are. Your right, you can be rich and still be a loser, but to become rich required that you did at one point work your ass off to get there. For example, there are plenty of musicians who become losers because they get caught up with the drugs etc. Sometimes, they even end up loosing everything because of their loser qualities.

      2. Saddam, Osama, and the other Saudi guys…How are they “losers” Saddam ran a country, Osama ran successful terrorist operations, the oil guys practically dictate the World’s oil supply. They aren’t losers, but they’re definitely evil.**I do not support them what so ever**

      3. This is a big question, but it has been answered. It’s given…if you hang out with the wrong people, you get brought down to their level.

      Reply
    2. Adriana

      this is a very old post, but I felt like commenting… Label people loser without seeing the background of their problem is easily done. Everyone becomes loser at some point in their life. The important thing is if one learned to become better person thanks to failure, and carried on trying to bounce back.
      On the other hand not everyone sees success in becoming rich. Or should I say rich means different things to some people. I am not at top of the success as you promote it here, but have a friend who is very career driven, and thanks to maybe reading articles to help her to succeed she is applying this rules of getting rid of on myself. 🙂 However, I do not blindly see myself as a looser.. Not special job, but I am good at it (important to myself), not wanting to become super rich-somehow not keen-just enough to provide and to be happy(not workaholic focused to become millionaire) and actually live life everyday is my style. So this friend before dumping myself gives me lesson about going out of my comfort zone… 🙂 I listen to her but ask question in my head; why is she so unhappy then? All of that trying become rich is taking happiness out of her at the times, all of that looking toward those who ‘succeeded’ is eating her, because she can not be happy when she compares herself to them. In her eyes I am a loser 🙂 I have no such dream to be very rich, and it is by choice. I am ‘guilty’ to stay in job that has no high status, but I have decided to study late in my life, therefore took job that is manageable next to it. It is about person. Success is to become person who is respectable, kind and has that right approach to life, honesty and true to himself. Plus he has friends who are positive, however can be helping hand to friend who become loser when everyone else left that person-not meaning only to be nice to the person but also try to give him/her kick in a good meaning. The funniest thing is how people slave success, not seeing human in the first place.. So it would happen that I was at the lowest state of being-no place to live, job at that time, no real friends at that time.. Managed to find job with help, but was treated very poorly by those who helped-like a looser. Of course after starting to earn I had to repay for the help-not even the fair price for that help. anyway, after a certain time carrying on with job, and going back to normal same people would try to look like a human again in my presence but… 🙂 Is it possible to forget unkindness and putting down behaviour that easily? It is how you treat the people who are the smallest (losers) that shows the character of a person. Good character-true richness. It does not mean keep company of a losers when you need them, it is treat them same as others-those may become inspired by your success and mainly trough kindness will follow the similar path.Not saying you should not have mainly not looser friends-of course yes-but do not put all in the same 2 boxes. AJ you remind myself of a climber on others back. A bit childish, sorry. Maybe you are too young, but so am I 🙂 Probably you had not experienced anyone successful(financially) leaving this world because of illness-that would open your eyes to see that to ease pain of the others while cutting them(losers are in a way successful but a bit ‘ill’ people too) while helping right way and not getting depressed is something that will give you friend by your bed when you will be rich but ill and dying-life experience. Sorry but those rich people you are mentioning to get as friends see people like yourself as losers and only have you to feed their ego too-life experience too. Grow a bit. 🙂

      Reply
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  18. Pete Scott

    Dumping friends over money is a shallow thing to do at any level. You should be ashamed A J Kumar. Clearly they’re not your friends if you ditch them over money. Classifying people as losers is also childish and just makes you look insecure at your own position, blaming other people for your own faults. I’d be surprised if you have any friends with your attitude.

    Reply
    1. AJ Kumar Post author

      Hey Pete,

      Please read my blog in it’s entirety before you comment with such hast.

      “Let me clarify, not being a loser, doesn’t mean you have to be someone who is interested in making a tons of money. What I mean is that you should surround yourself with people who are interested in growing. ”

      How is classifying people as losers childish? If your an adult and fit the following:

      * No job (not looking hard enough)
      * No money (lack of motivation to make it)
      * Lazy
      * Party all the time (unless it’s related to your job)
      * Too much drugs
      * Too much focus on girls (for guys, mainly 18-25)
      * Willingness to NOT step out of comfort zone

      I consider that childish. I am very secure about my position and only have people in my life that are interested in growing (again not necessarily for money).

      I don’t blame others for anything which is why I decide to stay away from the people I classify as losers.

      Reply
  19. John Sullivan

    AJ
    This is an excellent post/ I’m far from perfect but getting tired of dealing with and being affected by negativity. I can battle the whole world and win listen to my wife and my head explodes ..
    I forsee a roadtrip coming down the pike:)
    PS This site actually helps people thanks
    but you got to take action;)

    Reply
  20. ken

    AJ Kumar
    You probably have no real friends.
    I make more money then most of my friends but they are really fun to hang out with.
    What makes you think that a rich guy won`t dump you for leeching on him.
    Find a friend on the same level as you. You can be more yourself that way.
    I don`t want to live life kissing ass
    and I don`t want to live life helping people that take me for granted and using me.
    But when friends are on the same level as you they will help when you need it.
    If you had real friends you would not be writing such negative post.
    I hope all your so called millionaire friends dump you for being a loser compared with them. They will have nothing to gain from you except give you a taste of your own medicine.

    Reply
    1. AJ Kumar Post author

      Ken,

      There is no need to gloat about making more money because this post’s is NOT about money. It’s about being with people who are interested in growing, not doing nothing with there life.

      Let me ask you,which one of your friends fit in that category listed above? Why do you take such offense to this article? Who said anything about kissing ass? And who said anything about “leeching” off a rich guy.

      People who leave comments like YOU obviously do care about money because for some reason, that’s all you’re able to interpret from the post. Read it carefully and realize that it’s about growing in all aspects, not just financially.

      Reply
  21. tom

    Ken,

    Ummm I think you got the totally wrong idea about this post.
    AJ is simply talking about how to get ahead and grow as a person by associating yourself with people higher than your current level, so you can learn from them and move up.

    And when you say you have more money than most of your friends, you are not happy with it because that is all you have. If you actually developed value with whatever you do then you would be speaking in that regard.

    Maybe that is why you are pissed off and saying people take advantage of you because either you did not learn from the reality of how people are and instead got pissed off and now became a hater.
    And as a result, you isolated yourself from the world and are out to make it big on your own.
    Guess what there are people in the world that want to help you, you just have to find them and more importantly fight for what you want.

    Reply
  22. Joe

    You had me until you said “Donald Trump.” You still have me actually, hang out with losers and you’ll be a loser, but your credibility is shot if you think Donald Trump has any great knowledge of business to impart on anyone. He inherited his start and has been losing money ever since. Update your post and maybe Ill read the rest.

    Reply
    1. AJ Kumar Post author

      Haha, Joe I respect your hatred toward D Trump and just remember that he is just an example. Yes he did inherit his money, but he is a VERY smart business man. He had money, turned it into more money, lost it all and then got it all back and then some. Regardless, it does look like you understood the overall message 🙂

      Reply
    2. Amanda

      I agree with Joe, I think “Donald Trump” as an example was a bad idea.
      Donald Trump is one of the Biggest LOSERS! I am certain that there is nothing Donald Trump does or says that is informative , usefull or benefits anyone else but Donald Trump.

      Reply
      1. AJ Kumar Post author

        Trump is not a loser. He is a VERY successful business man. Trump being successful is not even arguable. He has provided A LOT for this country, from an amazingly popular TV to hundreds if not thousands of jobs. Just because he is arrogant does not make him a loser.

        Reply
        1. Amanda

          AJ , there you go again defining success by money. Donald is a loser if you were to add selfish, self-centered , sense of entitlement and supercilious to your list of 7 item describing a loser. These attributes are evident in Mr. Trump even to a 12 yerar old child.Sorry forgot add chasing girls. How many times has he been married and failed at it. These aforementioned attribues are far more appropriate in defininng a loser than how much money you have. Loser drain others of enery and resources which is what Trump does for personal gain. A “B” rated tv show can hardly be qualified as a worthwhile contribution to the world. (again feeding his own ego)

          Reply
          1. AJ Kumar Post author

            Amanda,

            You cannot say that I’m defining success by money again if I did not even do it the first time.

            So what if he cares about making money, many people have gotten rich of him too.

            * No job (not looking hard enough) – has a job
            * No money (lack of motivation to make it) – has money and motivation to make more
            * Lazy – he sleeps like 4-5 hours a day, because he spends his time working
            * Party all the time (unless it’s related to your job)- he hardly parties for the fun of it, unless he does it with or for clients
            * Too much drugs- Not that the public is aware of…
            * Too much focus on girls (for guys, mainly 18-25)- he does not waste time searching for girls.
            * Willingness to NOT step out of comfort zone-steps out of his comfort zone all the time which makes him grow each day.

            Again, just because he is arrogant, self centered, cocky, or whatever you want to call him, does not make him a loser. He donates more money to charity each than what MOST people can give in an entire life time.

            Even wit a “B” rated show, he is still able to create more jobs and more money for other people.

            He provides more contribution to the world than most people.

            I do not understand why you have hatred toward someone just because they are arrogant and successful.

  23. Jim

    My wife has a friend who is a loser, but she refuses to dump her. How can I influence someone else to dump a loser?

    Reply
    1. AJ Kumar Post author

      Start by having your wife read this article. It is difficult to have someone instantly dump a “loser”, especially if they are attached to them like how your wife is. Be honest and truthful with her the consequences of being around the wrong people.

      Then ,eventually she will want to help her friend which may or may not work. As soon as she finally understands her friend who is a “loser” is unwilling to change, then and only then will she dump them.

      So it starts with her becoming aware. Do you get what I mean?

      Reply
  24. same

    AJ..

    How about if someone sacrife him/herself by helping their friends in life.Then,his/her friends has a better life than him.Is him/her a loser?or how is it?confused..?? : (

    Reply
    1. AJ Kumar Post author

      I personally think one should not sacrifice one’s own life for someone who is unwilling to change.

      But if someone were to do that, then of course the person who sacrificed themselves IS NOT a loser. They never were, they trying to help the person who was a loser.

      Think about this: If a person can only change by taking away the life of another human being, what does that tell you about that person?

      Reply
  25. Xence

    About a year and a half or so ago I started a hockey team with a bunch of people I had never met. I took all of the ‘scrubs’ (if you will) from the extra’s list and threw a team together because a couple of friends and I thought it would be fun. Well as time progressed one individual on this team wanted to be friends with me outside of the game. Nice guy, married and all of that. The first impression I ever had of him though was this guy was a loser. Well here we are and this person, again he is genuinely a nice guy, but he has to be one of the most unmotivated people I have ever met in my life. I genuinely feel dumber for having associated with him. I am now in the process of attempting to extricate myself from any dealings with him. This individual does absolutely nothing to edify my life spiritually, philosophically, or financially. I went to his house the other day because he was having a computer problem and the first thing I see is a christmas tree. No really I’m not kidding. This was 3/6 so it wasn’t like this happened awhile ago. There are multiple instances where I have given this person the best advice in various situations and he is completely unwilling to use any of it. He whines about everything but then never does anything to straighten the situation out. I am now at a point (took me long enough) of being beyond disgusted with this person and as stated previously I will be extricating myself from any dealings with this person.

    Of the 7 points you stated above he & his wife are at least 4 of these. Losers … they really are a drag on people’s lives. Not that they are horrible people but I have to agree that being associated with one is not good for personal growth.

    Cheers,
    Xence

    Reply
  26. James

    Why in the world would those billionaires want to be YOUR friend? If they have the same mentality as you, they won’t care about you. Your income will drag their 10 closest friend’s average down by a lot. I would like to add, please don’t be so materialistic. I like money a lot, but you’re really going overboard here.

    Reply
    1. AJ Kumar Post author

      How am I going overboard? I never said if your friend has no money dump them? Read my post carefully before you write your comment. I CLARIFY exactly what I mean by loser.

      I say that you should hang out with people that are wealthier than you and have a strong drive of positivity etc. I am not being materialist because I also covered spirituality at people are just interested in growing in general.

      James, I wrote this post VERY carefully to make sure I covered exactly what I meant. If you read the comments, there are several people like yourself who question this blog. I tell them the same thing I told you, read my words carefully.

      Reply
      1. tom

        You become who you associate with. So you have the choice to be around those who are worse off and adapt those habits or adapt the habits from someone who is more successful.

        Please, lets get real, money is the foundation. If we are so materialistic, then how did you get access to the internet? I might as well call you materialistic too.

        As AJ said, he clarified specifically in this article what he means.

        Reply
  27. James

    Just wanted to add, it’s pretty selfish to see what benefit someone can give to you. Imagine someone looking at you and thinking about who you are. He would judge you by what you can do for him.

    Reply
    1. AJ Kumar Post author

      There is no selfish in mutual benefiting off one another. You are technical benefiting off your friends right now…for companionship, friendship, comfort, someone to talk to, advice.

      Reply
  28. Edwin

    Hey there AJ! Great article man! I really enjoyed what you had to say. Funny thing is, I’ve actually been getting rid of my “loser” friends for good, people who were holding me back (purposely, too) and were complete downers. Once I realized this, I took charge of my life and started focusing on surrounding myself with up-lifters, and things have seemed to get better and better ever since!

    Reply
    1. AJ Kumar Post author

      Glad to here it Edwin! It’s very hard for many people to do, but you’ll feel refreshed after doing so. I look forward to hearing about how your life changes.

      Reply
  29. Jon

    What if the “loser” that you associate with has something to blackmail you with and you can’t DUMP him or else he will expose you? any suggestions?

    Reply
    1. AJ Kumar Post author

      Jon, that is a completely different situation. Obviously this person is a loser, especially considering that they are black mailing you. So your only options are either to convince this person to keep their mouth shut, or slowly drift your friendship apart. Lastly, which I find as the best solution is that you can expose the truth before they can.

      The last solution is no doubt the hardest thing, but will be the one that lets you sound asleep. I have had these situations too often in my life, and even till this day I know of people who are stuck in the same situation as you. Again, the best solution to this problem is exposing the truth before they expose the lie.

      Reply
  30. John Kooz

    “If you are interested in doing it in an extreme way like how I did it when I was 17, change your phone number and only give your new number to the “Up-lifters”.”

    Dude, that sounds like me !! When I was 16 to severe my ties with losers I took the MASSIVE extreme step of literally switching schools , abruptly chopping off all ties with loser friends. Then of course I met more loser friends and it’s been a gradual but currently effective process of conncting up with truly successful people so that now, “losers” don’t even register on my radar.

    This article was great man! I’ve been stalled in the process of cleaning out my contacts I had 634 and a LARGE majority of them were seriously loser contacts. I love the simple distinction: uplifter or loser. ditch the losers. Sweet!!! EXCELLENT man. You must label. You have to judge. I hate the “go with the flow bs crap”. You’re a friend, AJ. Great site.

    Reply
    1. AJ Kumar Post author

      Thanks John. What you did seemed even more drastic then what I did. And like a cancer cell, it only takes 1 loser to introduce you to and bring upon more losers in your life.

      Reply
  31. Barbara

    This sounds good in theory, but it is cold hearted. How can you judge others without being judged yourself? It is good to get rid of bad friends, I guess, but what if you end up with no friends? Maybe like attracts like.

    There should be some sort of backup for bad friends. You shouldn’t be judged by the company you keep. No man is an island. It is hard to stay all alone.

    This is like people who like you for your money, popularity, or looks. What happens if you suddenly fail? Then all these people will run.

    What happens if you suddenly become more successful than your new friends? Do you dump them and try to move up? What if you reach the top and there is no one good enough left for you?

    Reply
    1. AJ Kumar Post author

      It’s not cold-hearted, it’s just the simple truth. You hang around the wrong people, and you’ll bring yourself down to their level. I’m not telling you to find people who are popular, rich, sexy, etc. I’m saying that you should hang around people who have similar interests and most importantly, want to constantly grow.

      Reply
  32. yeah right

    Because someone’s value as a person depends completely on their employment status or wealth.

    Heaven forbid you befriend someone because you like them or you get along. Better to make it a goal to befriend five billionaires instead. Who cares if their personalities suck! At least they’re rich!

    Reply
    1. AJ Kumar Post author

      Sarcasm detected ;). You should read my post carefully, instead of just glancing over key points. Befriending someone wealthy is for people who are interested in making more money. Befriending someone spiritual, is for people who interested in becoming more spiritual. Hopefully you get the point. What I’m saying is that you shouldn’t surround yourself who isn’t interested in growing in some form or another.

      Reply
  33. Rosita

    Is joining the military a losers way out? I feel like joining the military becuz i will not be financially able to move out on my own, and alot of the people i hang around are shady and would not be good roomates. I graduated high school and went to cosmetology school but dropped out cause i didn’t enjoy it after three weeks. I have alot of family issues, we do not get along. I am not good at keeping jobs. I totaled my car eight months ago, and even though i have had plenty of time to get a used car and make payments, i have no desire to, yet i hate the fact i live with my family and want to get out so bad, at the same time i do nothing about it. why?

    Reply
    1. AJ Kumar Post author

      You are comfortable, scared, attached… You are not alone here. Many people are in the same circumstances as you. Life is all about challenges. I wouldn’t say you are a loser unless you told me that you are at home all day long eating Twinkies and watching TV on your parents dime. The economy is pretty bad right now and many people have moved back in with parents and relatives. Read this: Take a few steps back for every giant leap forward. Don’t chose the military as an option to escape your problems, chose it because you want to do it. Instead of focusing on why your doing everything wrong (i.e not good at keeping jobs), understand the origin. Why aren’t you good at keeping jobs and how can you change it. Does that make sense?

      Reply
  34. Anton La Vey

    Most of all, get rid of the goth losers, they are energy draining vampires. I am aware of those below me trying to befriend me as instructed by this and other similar schemes.

    Reply
  35. Paisley

    A person with a strong character will not be negatively influenced by people labeled as 'losers'.

    In fact, being exposed to 'losers' should motivate you to live life in a more productive and meaningful way.

    People who imagine they can be brought down by 'losers' have a problem and need to get it sorted out.

    Anyone with the determination to overcome obstacles and improve life will – regardless of 'losers', 'winners' or anybody else.

    Every first world inhabitant should be succesful. For goodness sake, there's a safety net called social security yet there are many 'losers'. This is because it's not all about money. There are social problems people are born into and contribute to their low self-esteem and character. These people need support and assistance even though they live in countries that are wealthy. I won't discard them.

    The five billionaires mentioned, must they only be billionaires or must they be decent human beings as well?

    Anyone who actually believes their plans are threatened or negatively influenced by having contact with 'losers' needs help. That is, if any of the 'winners' will give you the time of day.

    Reply
  36. AJ Kumar

    Hi Paisley,

    I appreciate your comment.
    The whole 5 billionaires thing..if you look at my last paragraph, then you would realize that I specifically clarify that you that its not about money that classify one as being a loser.

    I never said anything wrong about the people that need assistance etc. Look closley at my article and you'll realize that I talk specifically about people who CHOOSE to

    * No job (not looking hard enough) – has a job
    * No money (lack of motivation to make it) – has money and motivation to make more
    * Lazy – he sleeps like 4-5 hours a day, because he spends his time working
    * Party all the time (unless it’s related to your job)- he hardly parties for the fun of it, unless he does it with or for clients
    * Too much drugs- Not that the public is aware of…
    * Too much focus on girls (for guys, mainly 18-25)- he does not waste time searching for girls.
    * Willingness to NOT step out of comfort zone-steps out of his comfort zone all the time which makes him grow each day.

    Even if people need support…if THEY CAN do something about it, then they would be considered losers, but if they can't obviously they wouldn't.

    Look read my entire article…I knew this one would be controversial, so I made sure I dotted my 'i's' and crossed my 't's'

    Reply
  37. rebekahslevi

    I think I know what you mean….I had a lot of negative things happen to me, but I realize this wasn't about me. The more I have grown as a person, the more positive I become.
    When I get around negative people, it really brings me down. The more positive I am, the more I am able to identify people who are positive. Not those in denial but those who are more open to possibilities, appreciate those things in life that are beautiful, don't hang onto bitterness. I believe that forgiving and letting go is important in all this. and I believe that when I am wrong, that I should be “big enough” to ask for forgiveness, and then move on.
    I try to remember that God is in control, and that God is love. and God love those whom I may not love, and it includes those whom I may not be comfortable with. They deserve a smile, kindness, and common consideration. Even if they don't feel the way I do. My life and beliefs are not based in who the receiver is(if I show kind & thoughtful behavior, can they perceive my kindness and thoughtfulness?). My life is based in what I know to be true–that God is love and who am I to be unloving to someone I disagree with? God loves them the same as he does me. However, I am at the same time aware that a lot of folks tend to project their own psychological material off on to me. and they do not perceive me for who I am. They only see what they can see, which “ain't” much, since their repertoire of thinking, perceiving, feeling, is so limited.
    They alone are responsible for this dilemma they are in. If they live in a closed loop of unending pain, and destructive behavior. If at some point they can think, perceive, or see outside the box they are living in, THEN at some point we all can hope that these perceptions, and stinking thinking they are stuck in, can somehow be interuppted by good, kindness, and knowing that there is love for them.

    Hopefully they will one day think something like, “…is it really true that there is love in the universe, and that someone loves me…? Without this type of paradigm shift there little hope of getting out of that closed loop and the stinking thinking that goes along with it.
    But it is possible. I did it, and my life will never be the same. Dare to doubt your doubts.
    All the best Rebekah

    Reply
  38. GTkiwi

    Food for thought here AJ…Interesting viewpoints from folks out there.Gathering with positve,like minded people,Is indeed a great way to Grow in all aspects of ones being!
    In these chalenging times we find ourselves,Its encouraging to find a little positvity can go a long way!!!…Like attracts like,Success attracts success,Growth attracts growth..
    Have a Great day!
    GT New Zealand.

    Reply
  39. clancy3909

    Losers are adults who stay in there little box and never venture out of it.Yet always rip on people who do.Losers are people who's idea of fun is to drink daily or smoke weed daily because they seem to feel this makes them more interesting.Humm NOT!!!Finally losers are people who just give up inside and out.We only get one like ladies and gents.
    Take all the chances you can!!

    Reply
  40. AJ Kumar

    Why would it even matter? Must I be “somebody” for me to be credible enough to make such a statement? Andrea, let me ask you this… why in the world would you even question what I wrote above? Do you disagree with me? I'm only stating the obvious. Take a look at the most successful people in the world and ask them for yourself if what I wrote is wrong.

    Do you think people who aren't willing to look for a job because they don't feel like it are losers?
    People who have no money and don't care to make some?
    People who are just too lazy?
    People who simply party all the time and don't do much else?
    People who do a lot of drugs?
    People not wiling to step out of their comfort zone?

    Now tell me this, if you know someone who fits anyone of these criteria's, do you think it would be helpful for you success to be around them?

    Thanks

    Reply
  41. backlinks

    Really great informative blog post here and I just wanted to comment & thank you for posting this. I’ve bookmarked youi blog and I’ll be back to read more in the future my friend! Also nice colors on the layout, it’s really easy on the eyes.

    Reply
  42. get backlinks

    Really great informative blog post here and I just wanted to comment & thank you for posting this. I’ve bookmarked youi blog and I’ll be back to read more in the future my friend! Also nice colors on the layout, it’s really easy on the eyes.

    Reply
  43. AiDz

    Nice article AJ, I was actually searching for a quotation about “friends you hang out with is a reflection of who you are” I do agree with you, these “losers” suck your energy because they don’t have any dreams or motivations in life.

    Keep up the good work!

    Reply
  44. Veryip

    with apologies and respect but you dont seem to know the loser writer is talking about.
    a loser…. a person with low character in most cases by being irresponsible.it is not about failing in an activity or having little resources. a mother in my village who gathers firewood from the bushes and makes sure the children have equal and satisfying meal is a winner while the woman with a mercedes benz in the rich mans house next door plotting to get pregnant to “trap” the man is a loser.

    being shy does not make one a loser.
    at age 38 you should ask me about losers.

    i was born in a family of losers, have wined and dined with losers all my life
    schooled in a loser school full of losers (no am not venting. it was a charity based school
    the owner was using kids to make money), and not knowing any better i only picked loser
    women so bad some were into drugs.

    so i truly thank the writer here. sure i have strugled alot to improve my staus
    but it was like these were the words i was waiting to be set free.

    in the movie man-on-fire the man teaches the girl not to flinch when she hears the
    sound of a gun instead to use the sound to launch her into action (dive in the swimming and later to run when kidnappers strike). iw ould say reading the words here have had exactly the same revelation for me.

    I was waiting for anyone from the whole wide wide to just say those words… may be to validate what i always so much wanted to do and knew had to be done.

    i probably am the most grateful of everyone in these postings. a thousand paid therapists
    could not have cured me better.

    and it was an added bonus to read the referenced neil patel words and honesty.

    so thank you so much all of you and have a good time.

    p.k nairobi kenya

    Reply
  45. Veryip

    i mentioned the movie man on fire…. the girl was being to repeat loudly… actually shout…. the sound of the gun is the one that sets me free!- great movie.i now do feel like that girl after reading ajs word here.

    pk.nairobi

    Reply
  46. Veryip

    you are down, probably even with a character issue such as depression.
    or someone who should be guiding you eg your parents are not doing their
    part.that dont make a loser. life has hard choices. make the best one for now.
    to be a loser you probably will be very knowingly take advantage of someone
    else with your butt sat down.

    aj answer seem, i believe, to say the same thing.
    pk

    Reply
  47. Veryip

    yes unfortunately i do think donald trump is a loser. sure i have a collection of his apprentice series i think because i allow them to pass, i belive because they are heavily edited to get off his personal views (but in one where there is the likes of randy and rebecca for apprentice he tell his wife…. “you are lucky to be married by me!” showing what a hell of an ass he is) plus i literally tore up and threw away his book about getting rich. page after page was full of pompous, self centred uncaring comments about other people while making efforts to bring out a charitable person.the book was new but it never was going to be allowed to sit on my book shelf wit so many great books and novels.
    yes dt has money but you listen to him keenly and character is definitely missing.

    pk

    ps. sorry i have posted so much on this blog. i geuss the topic is a so called hot button for me.sorry for tiring anyone.

    thanks

    Reply
  48. Chris

    I have an issue of with a person I knew through another friend who went into the Navy. I lost contact with this person for a couple years. One night, however, I happened to run into this person at a bar ( I rarely drink myself) Little did I know how utterly destructive this person was going to be to my happiness,progress in school, my possessions and piece of mind.

    The issue is that this person is an alcoholic who has somehow came to the conclusion that my house is the p[lace for the after hours party. As I mentioned earlier I am a college student ( luckily this did not happen earlier) and these so called after hours parties he attempts to throw at my house are getting on my last nerve.This has caused me to miss class several times due to lack of sleep. I even put up a sign on my door that says do not disturb after 1 a.m..

    Also, he has repeatedly stolen things from me, destroyed my possessions and quite frankly has caused me to be more bitter towards others.This person gets physically aggressive with me as well. Even though I am a fraction of his his size, I can take him down because I am trained in martial arts. I have proven that I am not easy prey like those that picks his petty little bar fights with.

    I don’t answer this persons calls and every time I try to explain that this is unacceptable to him he forgets the very next day. He somehow things He is my best friend when he is far from this and will never be. In fact most my actions towards him have been very indicative that I don’t like dealing with him.

    Now I stress that I do not to actually hurt anyone, but, I have had the thought “If this was only Feudal Japan” since one of the forms I am trained in is Katana.

    Ultimately, I realize that this vile insect needs to leave my life so I can get my life back on track, begin to make new friends and find a girlfriend( Without of the fear of this nuisance scaring them off). So if anyone has any suggestions on how I can exterminate this vile insect, I would greatly appreciate it.

    Reply
  49. Chris

    I have an issue of with a person I knew through another friend who went into the Navy. I lost contact with this person for a couple years. One night, however, I happened to run into this person at a bar ( I rarely drink myself) Little did I know how utterly destructive this person was going to be to my happiness,progress in school, my possessions and piece of mind.

    The issue is that this person is an alcoholic who has somehow came to the conclusion that my house is the p[lace for the after hours party. As I mentioned earlier I am a college student ( luckily this did not happen earlier) and these so called after hours parties he attempts to throw at my house are getting on my last nerve.This has caused me to miss class several times due to lack of sleep. I even put up a sign on my door that says do not disturb after 1 a.m..

    Also, he has repeatedly stolen things from me, destroyed my possessions and quite frankly has caused me to be more bitter towards others.This person gets physically aggressive with me as well. Even though I am a fraction of his his size, I can take him down because I am trained in martial arts. I have proven that I am not easy prey like those that picks his petty little bar fights with.

    I don’t answer this persons calls and every time I try to explain that this is unacceptable to him he forgets the very next day. He somehow things He is my best friend when he is far from this and will never be. In fact most my actions towards him have been very indicative that I don’t like dealing with him.

    Now I stress that I do not to actually hurt anyone, but, I have had the thought “If this was only Feudal Japan” since one of the forms I am trained in is Katana.

    Ultimately, I realize that this vile insect needs to leave my life so I can get my life back on track, begin to make new friends and find a girlfriend( Without of the fear of this nuisance scaring them off). So if anyone has any suggestions on how I can exterminate this vile insect, I would greatly appreciate it.

    Reply
  50. Emiltx56

    Chris: This person sounds a bit deranged. Something in between the lines doesn’t sound right. I know it’s very difficult and I only learned to do this when I was almost forty (I’m 55 now), but next time he comes over, I would step outside, close the door behind you, and tell him you need space in your life to study so you can have time to ask a girl out once in a while. Tell him you wish him well, but that you’re going to be basically hanging out by yourself and that you wish him well. If you don’t think that will work in person, write him a nice email. If it persists, you might have to get a restraining order, and I hope it doesn’t come to that.

    God bless,
    Emil

    Reply
  51. Mr S

    Okey guys hello this was a fascinating blog and still is of course.

    I must confess this and i would be really thankfull to have insights and knowledge gained from you.

    I am a looser, and i am not proud of it, sometmes i feel like the biggest looser on earth due to my many “destructive behaviors and habits patterns”.

    This patterns are, smoking, drinking, overeating, binge eating disorders, procrastination, and the list is long.

    I have many times been considered a talent in “martial arts” and “singing” but have never took those talents into new lvls.

    A time ago i moved out of my house to study at university and i was now confronted by emotions i had never ever felt, i had to go into really uncomfortable situations where i basically crashed and burn many times, i was confronted by my “new friends” whenever i showed inability to step out of my comfort zone and was negative!

    I became more social, more attractive, more intelligent, and stronger, after 2 weeks at the new city with my new life i decided i would visit my parents again.. i totally forgot about how looserish they were!

    When i came back home i had a big smile on my face

    and was very energized “this is the new behaviors i have learned”, as soon as i stepped into my parents house i was disgusted by how they were communicating and thinking, they are the most negative people i have ever met!

    The only dialogues that are occuring my mother, father and brother, the youngest brother never speaks a word are only negative, self hating, hating on everything in the world.

    They never agree with anything they say, the dialogoues are so poor and so negative that it could basically kill a human being.

    now this is my reality.. i want to be a champion cuz i know i can! my mindset is.. i could do whatever it takes to get the best results, if a “master” says throw yourself out of a tall building to conquer your fears i would “of course if this was legimit” consider doing this.

    What i basically am saying is i have never had any winner parent in my life guiding me to anything good, they are destructive (me also) and i can sense they love defeatism, they love to be miserable, they love to be loosers, and as soon as a winning action or a positive feeling is taken by me “often from outside” for example i man up and date a girl or something i can sense them doing anything to drag me down.

    Now they will never ever change, trust me you have never ever in your life.. seen any bigger looser then them, they are emotionally destroyed, sociopaths, till the degree its so far down!

    So im living the biggest dilemma in life, What sould i do? Help me guys, i know i CAN CHANGE! but they cant..

    Cuz ive been champion several times in my life..changing it dramatically but has allways fallen back..

    I have an own apartment in another city.. but the problem is.. can you be really succesful living all by your own? I mean total rejection of your looser parent, can you achieve all your dreams by allways taking right action..

    sometimes you feel very alone living by yourself.. and you need energy from people around you..
    to be social and unreactive..

    Tell me what sould i do?

    i really mean this.. i am ready to conquear my self?

    Ps: i will add this to my favourite page waiting for answers.

    Reply
  52. Zhilvandawody

    Okey guys hello this was a fascinating blog and still is of course.I must confess this and i would be really thankfull to have insights and knowledge gained from you.I am a looser, and i am not proud of it, sometmes i feel like the biggest looser on earth due to my many “destructive behaviors and habits patterns”.This patterns are, smoking, drinking, overeating, binge eating disorders, procrastination, and the list is long.I have many times been considered a talent in “martial arts” and “singing” but have never took those talents into new lvls.A time ago i moved out of my house to study at university and i was now confronted by emotions i had never ever felt, i had to go into really uncomfortable situations where i basically crashed and burn many times, i was confronted by my “new friends” whenever i showed inability to step out of my comfort zone and was negative!I became more social, more attractive, more intelligent, and stronger, after 2 weeks at the new city with my new life i decided i would visit my parents again.. i totally forgot about how looserish they were! When i came back home i had a big smile on my faceand was very energized “this is the new behaviors i have learned”, as soon as i stepped into my parents house i was disgusted by how they were communicating and thinking, they are the most negative people i have ever met!The only dialogues that are occuring my mother, father and brother, the youngest brother never speaks a word are only negative, self hating, hating on everything in the world.They never agree with anything they say, the dialogoues are so poor and so negative that it could basically kill a human being.now this is my reality.. i want to be a champion cuz i know i can! my mindset is.. i could do whatever it takes to get the best results, if a “master” says throw yourself out of a tall building to conquer your fears i would “of course if this was legimit” consider doing this.What i basically am saying is i have never had any winner parent in my life guiding me to anything good, they are destructive (me also) and i can sense they love defeatism, they love to be miserable, they love to be loosers, and as soon as a winning action or a positive feeling is taken by me “often from outside” for example i man up and date a girl or something i can sense them doing anything to drag me down.Now they will never ever change, trust me you have never ever in your life.. seen any bigger looser then them, they are emotionally destroyed, sociopaths, till the degree its so far down!

    Reply
  53. anon

    bite the bullet.

    you can only give so many chances to your loser

    parents.how many lives do you have.

    i may sound callous.

    but life didnt give me many choices.

    so i ditched my loser parents and family.

    wasnt good or easy but what they were

    giving me was worse.

    even now go to my village. you will

    meet my 60 year old brother waiting i came

    home with some little money to give him.

    because i am tired of his bs. next time he comes

    near me i know what to tell me.

    “I am having a quite time for now if you dont mind”

    the only thing is i wont ever come out of the quite

    time.ever in my life to give him time to say anything.

    he is a damn looser.

    my other bro impreginates every women he meets.

    i havent talked to him in over 10 years.

    the others are super loosers.

    if they had valued my friendship they would

    not have been behaving like assholes.

    Reply
  54. Sparklingmar18

    Good For you! Think positive, make positive changes to be a better person for you! You are different and good you can distinguish how you wana be in your life. Your not a loser anymore because you are taking steps to be a better and more positive and open you! You should be very proud! Keep it up!:) 

    Reply
  55. star18

    I have a freind myself that she is destructive. I give her my freindship and she abuses it and takes and takes and for so many years everything she does she comes back after the fact to ask ow what should I do. Hello, think before you act and dont be stupid, be responsible! She can be very negative and I am a positive person but boy i’m telling you, she can really take my positive energy and take away my focus and leave me dry. I have decided after sooo many chances, she is a person who is very instable and confused , and only thinks of her. which is sad bu tu cant be me or anyone you just have to be u! As sad it is to let her drift away, and many times I wonder how she is… I dont call because I know it will be a destructive pattern once again. She messes up the relationship everytime being selfish and only thinking of her, not open minded or understanding.:) all we can do with people like that is wish them the best! and keep on your own journey!:) thanks for listening. 

    Reply
  56. Guest

    The thing about all of this is I have been called negative and been thrown out of people’s lives, but I don’t meet any of these criteria. Sometimes I might be in a bad mood, but overall I am a pretty positive person.

    Reply
  57. Amanda

    that is so sad to here that. i have a friend who does not what to spend time with me because she has no time for me is that bad or what. i wish that we can spend time with each other by ur safe but is so hard to do. because she does not like me that much any more. i wish that she can make time for me. that would be so good to do. nice talking to u. have a nice day every body. i love my best friend she like a mom to me. i just what here to spend time with me by ur safe that all. i  what

    Reply
  58. Amanda

    that is so sad to here that. i have a friend who does not what to spend time with me because she has no time for me is that bad or what. i wish that we can spend time with each other by ur safe but is so hard to do. because she does not like me that much any more. i wish that she can make time for me. that would be so good to do. nice talking to u. have a nice day every body. i love my best friend she like a mom to me. i just what here to spend time with me by ur safe that all. i  what

    Reply
  59. Amanda

    that is so sad to here that. i have a friend who does not what to spend time with me because she has no time for me is that bad or what. i wish that we can spend time with each other by ur safe but is so hard to do. because she does not like me that much any more. i wish that she can make time for me. that would be so good to do. nice talking to u. have a nice day every body. i love my best friend she like a mom to me. i just what here to spend time with me by ur safe that all. i  what

    Reply
  60. Viktor Arakelian

    I can’t believe such a blog exists, I’m bloody disgusted. How can you pit point and bunch up everyone into one group and call them a loser? Without even getting to know the person or their actual situation, this is what makes society a disgusting place to be part of, because some people are brainwashed into believing and stereotyping people based on their situation. And you know what? You are encouraging this type of behavior.

    I am pretty offended by your post, I don’t do drugs, I barely drink, and I’ve been clubbing but I hate it, but some of the other points you added would then define me being a “loser” in your sense, I’m not trying to start an argument here, but really? You encourage others to rethink their friendships with people who you describe as losers? Its understandable if your friend is a drug addict,homeless and lazy, then yes I’d describe that as a loser. But how can you stereotype people as losers like that? For example, I’m currently unemployed, finished my course at tech, with a diploma in IT, trying to get a full time job and having a very hard time finding employment here without any sort of experience, I’m 19, only have a learners driving license because I have no one to teach me, my parents are divorced, I have a very ill mother who can’t work and is on sickness benefit, a younger sister who still is at school who can’t work, a rich father who refuses to help me out financially. I’ve never had a girlfriend either, and only have a few very good friends in a similar situation as me. I workout at home, and enlisted into the armed forces here in New Zealand and just came out of major depression, I’m waiting for approval and trying to make the best of my life at the moment, but times are hard, and not everything is entirely my fault for being in the position I am in, and not everything is within my control. But like I said I’m trying to make the most of my days, making an effort to seek and obtain full time employment, hopefully get my restricted drivers license and get a good career, to help out my mother and sister in the near future.

    I’m not going to list my life story, but I’ve been through a lot of shit, like being bullied my whole life since the start of primary/elementary school because I had a weird voice. Abusive father who refuses to help me out. I could write a lot more or even include a list if you wanted me to.

    There’s ALOT of things I’m not happy with my life, I’ve always liked to have a girlfriend, but have difficulty with girls my age because I lack the social skills to interact with them, have had dates, have been told I’m a good looking guy, also I’ve been trying to put on weight, and having no luck.

    But the point is, what are you trying to say here? That your definitions of a loser gives you the right to encourage people here to stop being friends with people because of their certain circumstances? That just because one person holds one of those characteristics hes now labeled a loser?  Please enlighten me.

    Reply
  61. Dre

    Well man I feel you definately. But when i read the post the bottom line came after reading the post. Losers pretty much give up all hope of success and worse they drag others down with them. Dont be offended by this at all. I read your whole comment. I know you are not a loser. And even so, this blog failed to mention many other loser traits.
    For instance your dad is a loser for not helping his son and family. Even losers can be successful in this world. I had freinds who told me its pointless to try. Yes i left them alone. Im pushing forward on my own now and i have met many people who are successful in many ways and i am still learning from them. The key is to stay positive and know things will look up. If you stay down in misery it possible to lose completely.
    Stay strong man i belive in you.

    Reply
  62. Jefferson Faudan

    people in all stratas of society has the common characteristics of seeking handouts and bailouts while refusing to accept accountability for their choices which often classifies them as losers… 

    success on the other hand is not based how far you’ve reached the pinnacle of financial stability as there’s much more to consider, but reality bites…and reality it is, people are often judged on their achievements

    Reply
  63. Godfirst

    I say forget all the people who don’t know you and think their better then everyone else. Like my mama always said “Did you ever see a hurse pulling a UHAUL?” “Didn’t God say its easier for a rich man to go through the eye of a needle then it is for him to enter the kingdom?” and last but not least my precious mother always said “What you have been given in success, God can take away in an instant, so love is the key to success.” If you have not love, you have nothing. 

    Reply
  64. Bill

    Almost all
    “Poor” people I have come across never go to church, steal, lie,
    spend more than they can afford. Have kids that they can’t afford to take care
    of. Leave their kids with their parents or babysitters to go drink and party.
    They are overweight and don’t take care of their own bodies.

    While
    “I” an atheist who grew up with a single mother of 5 kids have never committed
    a crime in my life. Never stole from anyone. Happily married with a child who I
    love and can afford to take care of. Also, I am financially stable providing a
    loving atmosphere for my family. I take care of myself by going to the gym and
    eating right.

    My old
    teenage friends by the way caused me trouble: They stole, drank, smoked weed,
    crashed my car and 2 of them are still in prison. The others are on welfare,
    have kids they don’t want to take care of and the go have wives that are all
    mostly obese.

    I have an
    older brother also an atheist who also has no criminal record and has now
    graduated from an 8 year education and has a job. My younger god believing
    brother has been to prison, fights with my mother, drinks, has no job, has a
    baby he does not want, high school dropout, sold drugs, still lived at home,
    and currently is in prison. My other sibling just turned 18 and is a high
    school dropout and heading the same path.

    You may
    ask yourself then why don’t I try to help them. Well I have but I have been
    busy with my own life. I don’t believe in helping those that don’t help
    themselves. But I have been helping my youngest brother who is 16 right now. I
    actually told him the advice on this column and to dump all his loser friends
    and make new friends that are a good influence on him and it worked. Right now
    He has a job, a decent car, has lost a lot of weight and is toned now, and has
    been doing well in school.

    Also
    “Godfirst” a test done by some researchers showed the following:

    Atheist
    Know more about the bible than Jews, Christians and Catholics.

    They have
    lower divorce and incarnation rates

    They are
    more educated

    Also the
    “MOST” peaceful countries in the world have more atheists.

    Also
    Viktor Arakelian I am foreign and didn’t even have a green card or birth
    certificate necessary to get a permit or my drivers license. English was my
    second language So I had to wait until I was almost 17 to get my permit and
    then at 17 I got my license with no help from anybody. My mother cannot read or
    write English and she still managed to get her drivers license. I grew up with
    no father and a mother who could not understand English at all. Living by with
    only 150 dollars a week for a family of 1 mom and 5 kids.

    You’re
    unemployed? I worked at a pizza place through college and worked as a free
    intern. Getting by on 50 a week for food, clothing, and gas, parking fees etc..
    Rent took everything.

    I was also
    ridiculed in school because I was the different one. The brown one who wore
    cheap clothes and cheap shoes who spoke no English and never got a haircut.

    So you really
    don’t have much for an excuse. Right now I dropped out of college to further my
    business and it is really successful. I make more in a day than a college
    graduate makes in a week. This is the real world and not some fantasy play land
    where things go your way and a magical guy is looking after you as long as you
    worship him.

    So what
    this blog says is true, bad friends do drag you down and making the right
    friends can really change your life for the better. I bet some of the friends
    you have right now would say you’re a loser just for not having a girlfriend. I sure wouldn’t.

    Friends
    are there to entertain you, support you through tough times, help you out when
    you need it and encourage and inspire you to better yourself even through tough
    times. Someone who is always broke, lazy, has no motivation of their own and
    blames the world for their problems couldn’t possibly do that.

     

    Reply
  65. Seventten

    Honestly, how many friends do you have? What a fuckin arrogant piece of shit you are. ‘I only wanna be friends with billionaires, where do I find them, I’m so insecure about my life direction I must surround myself with other pompous wankers so I don’t feel alone’. You can grovel at the feet of depressed, empty billionaires while the rest of us grow with the only things in life which provide meaning, friends and family, for richer or poorer. Grow the fuck up, otherwise you’ll find yourself on the inevitable deathbed, with only your money to comfort you. 

    Reply
  66. AJ Kumar

    Maybe I was… but I’ve been working hard since I was 17. Why would you ask me a question like “who the hell do you think you are?” how would you even expect me to answer that? I’m the guy that wrote the article… if you’re offended it’s you’re loss.

    Reply
    1. Arnost

      i started working hard at age of 15 im now 38 and tired of my so called friends that truely are not friends , i agree with ya AJ life is way to short to hang around people going no where . an old man once told me you cant be successful till you hang around successful people now that im older i understand what he ment now after he passed away i found out he was a millionaire he acted just like everyone where im from working class people .  

      Reply
  67. AJ Kumar

    Wankers… really?  How is this being arrogant?  Just because I don’t want to surround myself with a person who has no interest in making anything themselves? Also, if you actually read the article, you’d see that the billionaire example, was just 1 example. I also surround myself with people who actually want do be something compared to people who waste away their life doing drugs, partying, etc. How old are you kid?  Maybe when you grow up, you’ll understand.

    Reply
    1. Steve_1973us

      I have a question. How can I get my girlfriends family to realize that her son is a user and doesn’t care who he hurts?
       

      Reply
  68. AJ Kumar

    First you agree with the points, then you disagree? I’m not saying unemployed=loser. I’m not saying if you’re not trying to work your ass off trying to make it even if you’re broke you’re a loser. 

    Let me ask you.. if you’re friend fit that criteria and you’re in the position you’re in: trying to get a job, no gf,  etc. By being with that friend, you’re going to cause your own life to crash. Think about it… it’s human nature to become like the people you surround yourself with. If you changed the group of people you’re with, you’ll have a better shot at making your own life more successful. You’ll have a better chance at getting a gf a job, etc.

    Reply
    1. Jack

      That sounds incredibly naive to me. So you think that I should ditch friends if they’re going through a rough time? I see what your getting at but your points on what makes a loser were completely stupid and naive.

      I’ve been through phases of having no job etc. we all have phases we’re all human. My friends have been through phases like that. Yet you believe its better to turn away abandon them and look for succesfull friends. Dude.. you’re completely fucking wrong. I stuck with many of my mates and helped them through rough patches now they’re of working, going to university and getting engaged. If all their friend abandoned them as a loser they’d probably be nowhere right now.

      Oh the no money part is completely stupid. I don’t know how high in the clouds you’ve been but if youb check things in the real world out its pretty easy to have a job and yet be low on money. I work my ass of but end up with very little money for myself because it goes on rent. I suppose I’m  a loser then? I suppose because of the reccesion most of us are instant losers?

      Grow up. To grow properly you have to go through hard times. I didn’t have things to me on a plate I had to work for it as did many of my friends.

      Now if you said relying on people with 0 motivation is bad I’d agree. What you wrote however just comes of as fuck the unfortunate lets go suck cocks of the fortunate and  beg for leftovers. Sorry man, I’m not a loser or a beggar and I’m not someone who abandons his friends through hard times I’m me and I’m proud of it and you obviously have a lot to learn in life if you think you can catagorise people whom you don’t know as losers.

      Reply
      1. AJ Kumar

        “Now if you said relying on people with 0 motivation is bad I’d agree”… that is what I’m saying… I never said abandon anyone. if someone just doesn’t care anymore, why would you waste your time. They need to figure it out themselves at that point.

        Reply
  69. Cf003233

    i also don’t agree with the description of what a loser is.   Success comes in many forms.  People go through struggles. That’s life.  Aj kumar doesn’t even know what a loser is.  That’s how much of a loser he is and always will be no matter what he does.

    Reply
  70. Sweetone100percent

    I teach students all the time. One thing I don’t teach them is to lose those that aren’t doing as well as they (double negatives…gotta love them.)

    I teach them, instead, compassion and understanding. I do not teach them to avoid their parents, their friends, or their relatives, because they might ‘infect their thoughts’.

    No, I teach them, instead, to go after what they dream of doing, but don’t put others down when they cross their paths. Instead, remember where they came from, and try to help those they care about, to better themselves, if they can. If not, then understand that not everyone has the tools or the ability, and not everyone has to follow the money God.

    Some are perfectly happy just being who they are, and there is nothing wrong with that.

    With the majority of the world out of work, right now, your advise does not apply, because it, logically would not make sense. Everyone is affected, even those that surround themselves with positive people; the go-getters.

    Instead of putting those in your life into some realm of good and bad, try to take the good with the bad, and don’t assume that everyone knows better, for your life.  Just think, if you burn that many bridges, when it comes to someone standing by you when you need it, there will be no one there to do so…except those that now think of YOU, as the loser. God puts people in your path for a reason. Don’t always assume the reason is negative. Did you ever think it’s to make you learn something you knew nothing about, previously? Of course, if all you ever do is see the negative in that person, how could you possibly learn something positive from them. Everyone has something to add to your life, in one way or another, but sometimes, you have to dig deep to find it.

    Reply
  71. Starsmagicdo

     Great post AJ. So true, I understand whatcha mean and what some of below commentators miss to understand. I have a lot of experience with being misunderstood or not understood at all. People call me wierd, crazy and retarded often, because I’m always too honest and open about ”self-improvement” with everyone. I realized, sadly, most people just can’t seem to connect all the dots of life and get stuck somewhere along the way always upholding unfinished point of views and opinions.

    I’m done with helping people who just don’t understand or don’t want to understand. And I don’t wanna waste my time with people who can’t contribute in any way to my life, even if they are friends I’ve known all my life. It drags you down so much, and usually it’s the pathetic attitude of theirs that undermines your confidence and self-esteem.  You actually have to fight the environmental influence so hard to be who you want to be, instead of being who your environment makes you. And somewhere along the way you get accused of being self-centered motherfker. But hey, those are just little people talking.

    Reply
  72. Dylan C. Moore

    You can have a full life without a lot of money… a meaningful life… some of our greatest spiritual leaders in the world have lived this way and have taught the value of it. If all you want is to have a bunch of money and a head full of goals that make you feel like you’re a genuinely real, important person, then people who don’t have money or big self-improvement plans will appear to be losers… But what a sad way to look at life! A win-lose situation… that’s how you see it! But it is not that way. That’s the way the mind might see life, but life is more than that. You forget about the inner dimension of life, the unquantifiable part of it. Remember this part! There’s nothing wrong with goals, but we are NOT OUR GOALS… and not what we own… or who we know. That stuff is fun sometimes and useful sometimes, but that’s not what we are inside. Think of your mortality. And yes, do the things that make you happy! If goals make you happy, please,. follow them! But there is no need to say “those people are losers,” “these people are winners.” We have been taught this ideology of winning and losing at life since near infancy, and it has made us forget ourselves. Try to remember! Why is it so shameful to be a “loser”? Who taught you that shame? Do you teach it to others? Are you afraid of who you would be without that shame, of where you might fall to? What if you let go of that shame and fell? Haven’t you always, in a way, wanted to? The ultimate rebellion, the ultimate act of love for yourself. It’s about disconnecting from judgement. It’s not even trust– it’s just that urge to let go. Let’s try it!

    Reply
  73. Flarpscaredycat

    This is crap and heartless advice for teenage power-wannabees.
    Do you know why people go out to work and become involved in daily combat for cash?
    So they can aspire to be losers on the weekend.
    Do you have a pension?
    No?
    Then what’s the point in you convincing yourself that adopting a beta role and jumping when told to jump is any way to go about shoring up a self esteem that is only a few hours away from spiraling into crisis if it fucks up it’s mission to gobble up gold coins and instead tastes real life?
    Stick a needle up your ass asshole because you might as well because you’re setting yourself up to live like a legal legitimalized junkie.
    Stop thinking like an old man you baby.

    Reply
  74. Lian

    Excellent post. I was searching the statistic that talks about how you will make the average income of ten of your closest friends. I found your post instead.. read every word.

    Reply
    1. horrez

      I feel that just because a person does not meet up to anothers expectations ,does not make them a loser and to say this is totally wrong and a very ignorant frame of mind and thinking..There are a lot of people that don’t have jobs but look and look and look and are not successful  and yet  have some of the biggest goals and dreams,but to assume that they are losers proves that you are the biggest loser.Being a loser is just a frame of mind set and you should not judge others based on expectations,standards,goals or on account of what someone does,has or is…You never know where some people have been in life,or how they got to where they are,so why try to judge them in accordance to beliefs that are meaningless.I will admit that some people are lazy,but why they give up remains their own personal reason and i know by fact that there is noone on the face of this earth that just gives up and wants to  be unsuccessful.So what ever the case may be,if you feel that some people are just losers just because of the signs above then you have already lost your heart,because you speak ignorance and this to me is a person that is a loser..  Get your head out of your butts and grow up and stop judging others and definning who and what makes a person without knowing why.

      Reply
  75. YZEN

    You sound like an arrogant piece of shit. You’re giving atheists a horrible name. Stop trying to seem better than others based on religious preference. 

    As for your cutting people out of your life, I don’t care. I just want everyone to be happy. If you don’t like how someone lives, let them worry about it- it’s their life not yours. 

    Reply
  76. marathonrunner

    I would like to say this that those HUMAN BEINGS you call losers are struggling in life with many different issues maybe a person who you label loser is hurting so much  is depressed etc. Life is hard and someone of us in life get dealt some rotten tomatoes. I have a friend who fits this discription no job , does drugs etc instead of giving up on her like everyone else did in her life. I saved it. I gave her the encouragment she never had from anyone to move on with her life. I moved away and every now and then I hear from her. When she called and said thank you for saving her life. I said your welcome.  I dont believe in losers I believe that people need love, respect and encouragement. I know for a fact that people who are on drugs or who drink too much they are just covering up pain that we all feel in life. You might even deal with pain by thinking your winner why? because doesnt it make you feel good to be soooo successful yes sure it does but in the end in your heart what have you done to help another human out.

    Reply
  77. Philhilton01

    I know a lot of people are gonna disagree with this post…oh well. There are some good counterarguements like the fact that life is not fair and that you may mean well but sometimes things just don’t work out. Bad things happen to good people TOO OFTEN. Some people r out there trying, but with this crappy economy, corrupt politicians, tyranical coporations, and broken families that can be difficult for LOTS of people who honestly do try.

    Still, I have 2 agree with your post 4 the most part. If u want to be successful, u must cut out the cancer in your life. Usually that is lazy ass people who are vampires that just want your money. They don’t produce anything and they are so lazy they would make a bum look like a hard worker. I bet a third of the people getting money from their state government in food stamps or unemployment fit into that category….trust me some losers are in my pathetic family.

    So I see ehat you are saying, if u want to be successful stay away from the losers like single moms, drug addicts, unemployment and food stamp vampires(not people who have been laid off, but those who are too lazy to work), bums, alcoholics, and master manipulators as well as abusive people. Most people are a WASTE OF TIME!

    Reply
  78. AJ Kumar

    “I know you are but what am I…’ is how your comment came accross. Chill, I never called you a loser. 

    Next time, read the entire blog before you make comments like the one you made. “Maybe there are people who are better than you and are giving and help people out?”

    I do indeed talk about people who help others…

    Reply
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  85. Xence

    Well here I am 3 years later of my original post. Never thought I’d be back here but after several several failed attempts to get rid of the “guy with the christmas tree” … I have SUCCEEDED! I tried all manner of things but what it finally came down to was me just ignoring almost ANYTHING he would send, call, etc. I put a call/text blocker in my phone which just made it so I wouldn’t even see him calling/texting me. For emails I set up a few simple rules that just completely rejected his emails so I never saw them.

    I have since relaxed those strict rules just a bit, he bothers me now but I only respond if/when I’m good & ready! Which is maybe once a week …. at most, he was going crazy because I don’t/won’t respond to most of his comments or otherwise. This has settled down now though to a dull roar & I’m hearing from him less & less so he is finally getting the message. Given a very short period of time I doubt I’ll hear from him at all.

    My loser issue is now in my control.

    LOSERS BEWARE! lol

    Cheers,
    Xence

    Reply
    1. Rose_Bud

      Well thats pretty amazing, I have been trying for almost years too now. And I am finally starting to put my foot down. I have recently been only sweeping the dirt out of my way, but i can no longer stand the build up of filth that pollutes my life.
      I changed my life completely, I use to be a partier, When i was 19 and 20. But then i decided to go to college, i willed my self, pulled it all together, and have been getting the best mark of my life (A’s) in college and university studies.
      It’s been 3 years that i have been working on this. and i only have one set back, my boyfriend! but he is only part to blame, it’s his loser friends he choices to be with. They all moved away, and for a year our relationship was awesome, now one of them i back, and the frustration and fighting is back.
      I hate it, I hate my self for putting up with it, if i wasn’t around the corner from my final exams I would leave.
      But i’m stuck for this little bit, and i am going to make the best of it, I am going to try and get my point across, (but i already know that won’t work)
      So i am pre-pairing myself for a heart ache of my lifetime. We will have been together for 5 years this may, not all the best times, but i grew up up with him, he made me grow up, and now i’m trying to make him grow up even more.
      He is a good guy, but is to easily manipulated (he is weak)
      and i don’t want a weak man by my side ( or one thats doing drugs)
      Now his cousin is in the ICU from overdosing on drugs (he is a pill and coke addict).
      He has already lost one of his friends from getting mixed up with the wrong people, now he is going to lose a family member as well.
      And it’s only a matter of time until he loses me,
      I know people don’t change!
      But what I don’t know is how to deal with it, how to you let go of someone that has made ur life better, but now I want and need much more.

      Here’s to thinking I had it figured out
      Heres for starting a new life alone

      Reply
  86. harold

    Hey Kumar…get me to white castle…its almost time for my loser self to flip your sliders…you must be a millionaire by now with this mindset….good luck bill gates

    Reply
  87. hei

    mostly people who are losers are the ones who turns out successful.
    so I don’t underestimate them cause all of us are capable of something.

    I think the only way to success is to be yourself and don’t let anyone tell you what you should do or what you should be.

    Reply
  88. JonSnow

    If this post and most of the comments here are indicitive of a contemporary social concept of friendship then the concept itself is in decline towards a materialistic, ultimately meaningless thing. True friendship is experienced, not defined in these ugly terms of yours.

    Reply
  89. may

    but i cant classify my friends if they are loser or not i can classify them on one way >……love them or not i wanna one way to classify them without heart interuption

    Reply
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  91. Kurah

    My best friend makes at least 2x as much money as I do. Hope she never decides I’m just some looser holding her back, especially because I have no motivation to do anything about it. I’m quite happy tyvm.

    Though I fail to see how a paycheck has much to do with it, I agree to purge your life of the people that are holding you down.

    You could loose a few bullets just by using the word irresponsible.
    I think “emotional black hole” should be up there too.

    Reply
  92. IGRARISH

    Typical Indian way of thinking. Cast system? Why are you guys so cruel ? Everyone could have a depression and be not motivated to seek for a job or earn more money. We should help them to get rid of this state if we call them our friends. I was as you said a “loser” but thanks to my friends I get recovered.

    Reply
  93. Mike

    What about those individuals that are working on side projects like mobile apps or websites (even if not for profit yet)? I’ve been out of decent work, but I’ve been spending my time learning how to make money through alternatives. I have also been learning Korean and Chinese (in addition to mastering Spanish as well).

    Reply
  94. Mike

    Whoever made this post is just a complete conceited **** who has no merit of his or her own…The little man is still a man. Only you decide your fate not your friends. Friendships have limited value in career building; you alone are the captain of your ship and master of your destiny. Only Insecure people want to hang around successful people to gloss up their already shabby image. The person who wrote this post should realize that this supposedly successful people wouldn’t want to be accompanied by you in any advent.Why? Because you’re just an egotistical poser opportunist trying to lift your image up and even if you don’t fit with them–the superior ones. Self-made people who are secure can be friends with people of all social classes no matter what stigma may be associated with them. Every job has dignity , maybe not for someone that has a poser mentality like you.
    Just drive in your leased unreliable BMW broken motor work piece of shiet and pose all day long like a complete cunt you are while not being able to afford jack all to eat.
    Your opinion is invalidated… who are you to decide who and what is a loser? These rich people wouldn’t even wanna chill with insecure poser fucks ; the truly rich are the most humble of people. As previously mentioned, hanging out with these supposedly successful rich people doesn’t help you get anywhere and they will only condescend down on you for being not as well off or sophisticated as them…
    So many rich people do drugs and don’t have a job. Are they to be admired for being born rich? Friends don’t make the man, actions and character make the man.

    Reply
  95. JANICES WALLOCKES

    MY NAME IS JANICES WALLOCKS FROM HOUSTON,TEXAS.I NEVER BELIEVED IN LOVE SPELLS OR MAGIC UNTIL I MET THIS SPELL CASTER ONCE WHEN I WENT TO AFRICA IN DECEMBER LAST YEAR ON A BUSINESS SUMMIT. HE IS REALLY POWERFUL AND COULD HELP CAST SPELLS TO BRING BACK ONE’S GONE,LOST,MISBEHAVING LOVER LOOKING FOR SOME ONE TO LOVE YOU, BRING BACK LOST MONEY AND MAGIC MONEY SPELL OR SPELL FOR A GOOD JOB.I’M NOW HAPPY & A LIVING TESTIMONY COS THE MAN I HAD WANTED TO MARRY LEFT ME 2 WEEKS BEFORE OUR WEDDING AND MY LIFE WAS UPSIDE DOWN COS OUR RELATIONSHIP HAS BEEN ON FOR 2YEARS… I REALLY LOVED HIM, BUT HIS MOTHER WAS AGAINST US AND HE HAD NO GOOD PAYING JOB. SO WHEN I MET THIS SPELL CASTER, I TOLD HIM WHAT HAPPENED AND EXPLAINED THE SITUATION OF THINGS TO HIM..AT FIRST I WAS UNDECIDED,SKEPTICAL AND DOUBTFUL, BUT I JUST GAVE IT A TRY. AND IN 7 DAYS WHEN I RETURNED TO TEXAS, MY BOYFRIEND (NOW HUSBAND) CALLED ME BY HIMSELF AND CAME TO ME APOLOGIZING THAT EVERYTHING HAD BEEN SETTLED WITH HIS MOM AND FAMILY AND HE GOT A NEW JOB INTERVIEW SO WE SHOULD GET MARRIED..I DIDN’T BELIEVE IT COS THE SPELL CASTER ONLY ASKED FOR MY NAME AND MY BOYFRIENDS NAME AND ALL I WANTED HIM TO DO… WELL WE ARE HAPPILY MARRIED NOW AND WE ARE EXPECTING OUR LITTLE KID,AND MY HUSBAND ALSO GOT THE NEW JOB AND OUR LIVES BECAME MUCH BETTER. IN CASE ANYONE NEEDS THE SPELL CASTER FOR SOME HELP, HIS EMAIL ADDRESS IS:joylovehone@gmail.cm ……HOPE HE HELPS YOU OUT. HURRY NOW AND CONTACT HIM NOW VIA EMAIL ADDRESS:joylovehone@gmail.com

    Reply
  96. David

    Thanks for this article. Actually last week I got in a fight with my sister because she got a call from some of my loser friends to go to a rave and do some drugs. I told her that if she becomes friends with them I’ll still love her as family, but I also added that I won’t be able to be her friend, because I’m on the road to success, and every time I hang out with them they lower me to their standards. When they feel satisfied with an accomplishment I always notice all the mistakes in what they believe to be a great status quota.

    I woke up one morning and realized that all my failures and bad memories, also some great, are linked to my loser friends. What happens when you take away the party scene, long binge nights, and hitting on girls… you’ll realize that your friendship is based on an empty shell. Real friends don’t require any of the latter.

    Reply
  97. Roma

    Maaann.. Now, having read the article I know for certain why I had no girlfriend my entire life (I’m already 27). Yep ! I’m such a looser. So what next ? I think I’m gonna Kill myself to make the world better and save the people I do care about from my bad influence.

    Reply
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  100. yourmomma

    dude you are such a dick. if you got injured and became disabled, and couldn’t work for the rest of your life, got overweight because you were stuck in a wheelchair, and acne from it, would you look in the mirror and still love yourself? or would you say ” i am now a loser” ? would you be happy when your so-called friends abandon you, maybe your girlfriend leaves you, or if you have a wife, she cheats on you or divorces you? oh i guess you deserved it, because you were a loser.

    sorry but true friends care about their friends even when they go through hard times, such as not having a job or other problems and ups and downs in their lives.

    Reply
  101. WOlf

    Its easy to call someone a loser for their short comings. Only a true loser has the arrogance to classify someone else as a loser. Who gave you the right to judge others in the first place. Was it because one of your so called “losers” dragged you down and almost ruined your so call life. So what if you have money, fame, power, possessions, and have surrounded yourself with others as cold and heartless as you. Whats life without those you care about to live it with. I think the one who is closest to your description of a loser just might be you. Your willing to betray, throw away, and abandon not only the people you at one time claimed to care for as friends or life partners but you seem to not care in the slightest about how it would hurt them or how they may depend on you. What if you were the only one in that persons life. I’m sure the person or persons in question here would be considered “Losers” in your eyes for the very reason of you being the only person in their life but that dose not change the fact you were willing to devastate someone close to you for your own desires and personal gain. You can place such actions on as high a pedestal as you want and build them up with all kinds of shiny prizes but in the end your nothing more then a selfish fool who will either find himself old and alone or old and surrounded by people you loth. I pity this way of thinking and am surprised another human being could be so cold hearted and selfish. The people in this world make me weep for our future sometimes. However there are times others stand up and show me that my lack of faith is misplaced. Make no mistake sir you are the minority and that is why you felt the need to share your so called knowledge in the first place. You felt not enough people followed your cold hearted ways. However that in its self is the point. Its easy being cold, cruel, heartless, to throw away everyone in your life, and have no courage to actually fight for what NEEDS to be not not take what you want and leave nothing but bodies in your wake. It takes someone of true character, heart, love, caring, and compassion to put aside his or her own wants and actually do something for others and be there for those who need you to be there.

    Reply
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